psyphigrad

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It has been almost 5 1/2 months since I had surgery, and as of this am, I have lost 100.lbs. It is so amazing, that I can hardly believe it.

In an earlier post I wrote about my friend that isn't talking to me. Well nothing has changed there, Oh well. Her loss. Someone said to me the other day that she is probably loosing weight, and will talk to me then...Maybe. If it motivates her, and she gets to a happy place, then good for her.

Before surgery everthing I wore was a 3x or bigger. I wore like a 26-28, sometimes a 30. Well yesterday I had on a pair of sweatpants that were size large, and a sweatshirt that was a medium. When I bought them I couldn't find a large top, and bought the medium thinking there was no way it would fit...Well It was snug at first, but fits good now...I am still amazed.

Oh and I went for a walk with my kids the other night, and my son had me jogging. It was so funny. He is such a motivater. Every time I wanted to stop he would say "don't stop mom, you are almost there, you can do it." Oh it was soooo wonderful.

Well thats all for now...I hope everyone is feeling blessed and has a wonderful day.

My friend of 18 years is pissed at me for having surgery, and doesn't want to know how much I have lost. At least that is what her sister told my husband. I am like WTF. I don't need her to be happy for me, or support me, or even aknowledge what I have done...but to be pissed at me..come on..And today is my birthday, and I keep thinking about this shit..Oh well. I made a life changing decision that I don't regret in the least, and if she can't talk to me, or be my friend anymore then that is on her. I haven't changed..not inside..not at all. I had plenty of self esteem while I was fat, and the only thing that has changed about me is the way I look...and I still weight at this point about 60 lbs more than I did when I first met her and we became friends. Jealousy really is a bitch huh? And don't get me wrong...I am jealous of some people/sometimes too, but I don't let that jealousy turn into anything else...oh well.

Its funny how even on a support website you find haters...unbelievable. We should all be supporting each other in our journies no matter what route we took to get there. 
Who cares who had what surgery and why. Personally I think that a lot (and I didn't say all) of people only have the DS surgery so they can still eat the way they have always eaten. Good, great for you. I wanted to be healthier. I wanted to leave all that behind, so I didn't choose that surgery. I wanted to be as normal as possible after surgery, and at only three months out, I feel normal, different but normal. Different because now I don't finish every last morsel, but actually leave food on the plate....like normal people. Do I feel strange, or deprived in any way....HELL NO..I do not. I made my decision, and I am happy with it. What the DS people say doesn't bother me...but...there are some people who are very sensitive, and their spirit has been broken, and the last thing they need is a bunch of "obviously unhappy with their own lives" bitches making them feel worse. But Im sure it will never end. It is so hard to not post back and add fuel to the fire when they are so cruel and lieing to boot, but maybe if no one posted back they would eventually give up.

I hope everyone had a great new years. Mine was pretty uneventful as usual. Home with the hubby and kids, safe, just the way I like it. I fell asleep around 9pm for like a 1/2 hour and woke up with my ear all clogged up. Hubby said it was wax (as if...) so it stayed that way through the next day, then on the 2nd, I went to the Dr. and it wasn't wax. I had ear infections in both ears. It is just now starting to open up. I have to take an antibiotic twice a day, and it tastes gross...I have been mixing it in a spoonfull of yogurt, and practically sticking the spoon down my throat and I can still taste it yuck...I get up extra early and cook and egg and corn beef hash every moring, since I have to eat when I take the pill, and I have so much trouble getting all my liquid in, that I need to start early...lol
I am soooo glad I did this though..Every day I feel and look better and better. This year really is a new year for me...I hope it is a new year for all of you also.

I am so excited about Christmas this year (as usual) and I can't believe that I have lost 60 lbs. I am so excited about a lot of things now..I can't wait for summer to go swimming with my kids (like I always have, but less self concious and tired) we made sugar cookies and a gingerbread house today. I kept licking the icing off of my fingers..after I did that about 4 times I realized what I was doing. I had to litterally make a concious effort to stop..it was maddening...ugggg..lol
Well I hope that everyone has the merriest Christmas ever..

Well I had my one month visit to the Dr. I didnt' see the Dr. only the nurse. She said NO bread, rice, pasta, crackers..till 9 months out. NO salad till 3 months out..so basically Im on the same diet as I was, just instead of them saying pureer things, they say chew chew chew..
Oh well.
Im not hungry and not trying to push it anyway..
Oh and she said no more peanut butter, the dr. doesn't like it, cuz there are too many calories..wtf.
Oh well.
I feel good. I am a little tired of having to concentrate on eating, but It is worth it. 
Im also tired of everyone being soooo concerned about me eating. For instance, my daughter and I are going to a Spa Party at a coworkers house on Sat morning, then to a party at my boss's house Sat night. They both mentioned about me eating. I keep telling people that I am not hungry, and it doesn't matter...but...well they feel bad. Food really is a big deal isn't it.?????
My husband is working out with his weights so he can lift me once I loose the weight...isn't that cute.?

Well it has almost been a month since my surgery..just a few more days to go. I go for my one month check up on Tuesday. Im excited. I have lost 45lbs. It would be cool to be down 50 lbs by Tuesday, but it will be whatever it will be. As with a lot of people I don't do so well some days getting in  all my protein, or water. But some days I do great. Its hard when you aren't hungry at all to eat. And its hard when you are busy doing stuff to be drinking all the time. But the days of chugging the bottle of water down are gone, so I have to make time for that. I made chili today. I ate 1/2 cup of it. Not sure how much protein I got..but some anyway...and it went down and stayed down, and was good. I haven't had any problems with drinking, or eating, or taking all my pills, so I am thankful for that. I was doing at least 1 protein drink a day, and these breakfast bars by Atkins called cinnamon bun..they were small (1.2 oz I think) and 17 grams of protein, and I could eat that. I ran out of those two things, and just haven't gotten to the store, so I have been improvising with drinking skim milk, and eating cheese.
Well thats it for me for now...

I made tilapia for dinner tonight. I was so excited, thinking I could get some protein in, besides my shake I had earlier today (which by the way was gross, but I got it down). Well I made the fish, and made some rice for the rest of the gang to go with it. Well I ate about 3 small bites, and that was it for me. Don't know if I feel full, or what, but I knew I was done. I feel fine, it doesn't bother me, but it is also weird. Of course pre surgery I would have eaten a few pieces of fish, some rice, and still had room for my chips later. Now Im done for the night, except for my water.  It is so strange to watch TV without snacking now, and realize that I don't care. I know this is all new, so I am hopeing that the novelty doesn't wear off. I can understand how people may go back to their old habits once they can eat, but I dont' get how people gain all their weight back..that seems soooooo I dont' know..not doable..but obviously it is. Any comments on this would be great. That is if anyone is even reading this.

Well I wanted to post about before..and my surgery. I did 6months supervised diet with my PCP, a sleep test, the blood work..blah blah..before I finally got approved, then things went fast. I was approved one day, and scheduled for surgery 2 weeks later.
My mom and sister went down with me for surgery. We live 85 miles from where I had it done. 
Surgery went fine..I don't even remember being put out..some people talk about the operating room, but I think I must have been out before I got there..lol But for the first time I remember them taking the tube out. I have had three prior surgeries (2 c sections, and my gall bladdeer) where I had a tube down my throat and have no memory of them taking it out..well this time I remember. I remember them saying "we are taking your tube out Mary, breath, breath..." It was freaky..then I remember them trying to put the cuff things on my legs and asking me to pick up my legs..I remember I couldnt', and I was saying "I can't" Now I dont' know if I was saying that out loud or not, but I was getting mad cuz they just kept repeating for me to pick up my legs and I couldn't. After that....everything was ok. Hooked up to the pain pump and basically sleeping all day. That night I got up and walked and was good. Now the next morning I went for my leak test. It was fine, except the radiologist said she saw a leak. I went all day with no drinking and wanted to drink soooo bad. The next morning they did another leak test and she still thought she saw a leak..well my doctor didn't agree and let me have my 10cc of water, then 30cc of water, and all went well. She said it was probably just a shadow...and I was sooo mad...no water because of a shadow. I am glad now though that they were being cautious.
So I didnt' get to go home when I was supposed to, and then I was dehydrated (go figure) probably partly my fault cuz I am not a big drinker and most likely didn't drink enough before surgery...FYI drink as much as you can before surgery to hydrate your body. Anyway..I spent 2 extra days in the hospital. My only real complaints were that I got my medicine late 3 times (over an hour late) and that no one asked me if I wanted to bathe or wash up or anything until the day I was going home. I had to bug them about it. That frustrated me. But all in all, it could have gone much worse. Mostly everyone was nice (you know how that goes). Im sure not gonna complain about it now..I am just happy to be here to tell my story and happy to finally be on the other side.

Well I am finally feeling like normal again. All my incicions are completely healed, so last night I finally got to relax in the bath...oh was that nice. No more showers for me..then I had fun going through some clothes. I can't believe what a difference 35 lbs makes. I will soon have to get rid of a lot of stuff, I already found some stuff last night that is too big..one pair of pants literally fell down..that was funny.
Getting in and out of the car doesn't hurt anymore, so that is good. 
Last night I made fajihats for my family (sorry if I spelled that wrong) and I wanted one so bad..well I took a little bit of the filling and put it into my magic bullet, and well lets just say I won't be doing that again..and it cured my craving...can we all say YUCK...
Well until later...Peace..