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5/26/2007 - So today I went to Coral Springs for a friend's 50th Birthday party and one of the party guest finds out about my bypass. My sweetie shows her one of my before pictures. So most of the people @ the party compliment me and wish me well but this one woman goes on and on and on - to the point that I became uncomfortable. Mind you I LOVE it when people are paying attention to me - ok I LOVE being the center of attention, but this time I was really really uncomfortable with the attention. This was my friend's birthday party and she should have been the center of attention. I'm trying to find within myself why I was so out of sorts with the whole thing.

One thing that DID strike me funny is that this same woman was so surprised how my hair lost it's curl as a result of the weight loss. I really messed with her by telling her I had a hair straightening procedure and one of the side effects was weight loss....he-he-he-he-he I'm evil, pure evil I tell ya....she left the party convinced...

On a positive front I've been stable for the last month @ 139. I'm hoping to gain a few more lbs to get to 150 and then see the p/s - I think it's time for a consult. I have alot of skin draggin and the back pain and neck pain is nasty.

5/23/2007 

Mindset - it's the key to success, in my humble opinion.....

I wasted 1/2 a lifetime trapped in my obesity hell. When I finally said ok - I have to do this, it was like finding God. I gave into it completely and freely - the ONE thing I didn't do was look at this process and a battle, a challenge or a must do. I prayed for guidance and those prayers were answered with patience, and successful weight loss. Mind you, I had complications, but I chose my attitude,actually the attitude of gratitude (from the SECRET - suggested reading) and not once did I say I regretted having had the procedure. Ok, I did once time - but I was septic, being treated by 5 dr's @ the same time and @ my wits end. I allowed myself  5 min of a pity party. Today, I'm almost 18 months out and I'm happy. 

SATURDAY, Orlando, FL - had a wonderful time meeting up with some of my OH online friends. Wonderful presentations by Dr Shuster, whom I'm contemplating for my reconstructive procedures. The event was a success and I'm really thrilled to be a part of OH. 

Sunday, my friend, Maribel took me to Cassadega where I was overwhelmed with all the energy of that Town. The people there are incredible. I had a reaffirming weekend and I'm pumped for the new stage of my that is now beginning.  As they say....out of the ash....

RETIREMENT? @ 42? SURE!!!! 

Well I did it. After 24 yrs with one employer, I got the courage to change. I submitted my retirement notice and I got a new job with another financial institution. It's small and that's ok because I want to start new again and I am happy to say this company feels like PNB/CORESTATES did when I was first hired. 

I started with the new bank on 4/30. There are many folks from my old bank who knew me when.... and now I'm experiencing new WOW moments when they realize who I am was/am.

It's too funny. Well I'm asking God for his blessing, his guidance and his continued support as I start on yet another journey.

4/2/2007 - EMPTY NEST SYNDROME!!!!

My 21 y.o. son has moved. He's beginning a new chapter in his life and a chapter in mine is closing. My baby boy is grown and I'm so proud of the man he is becoming. Funny thing is that the umbilical cord hasn't quite been severed. He moved 3 doors down the street with his buddies. I'm actually seeing more of him now than when he lived at home. He comes in to check on me nightly.  Still waiting to hear about the biopsy. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

4/6/07 - Microcalficiations - that's what I have in my breast - and I have to go back in 6 months. Scary! but I'm praying for God to keep me safe. 

4/9/2007 - met with Dr Jaffe, my dermatologist. I have a yeast infection on my skin where the skin is rubbing against itself. He's given me a prescription for an ointment to help with the itching and the god awful smell.

4/10/2007 - OH CONFERENCE - Orlando FL. I've been ask to model once again at the Orlando conference. I'm thrilled. and can't wait to participate. 

04/12/2007 - Today I met with Dr Thompson, my GYN - we review the results of the mammagram and he does think I should go for a 2nd opinion. Discussed the problem when I tinkle and lose the flow withing a few seconds. After examining me he said that my urethra is stretched out as a result of the fat and that that and the skin that hangs is causing me this trouble. I have to go back to him on the 20th for some testing. OK - this I didn't sign on for and now It's a little embarressing.

04/13/2007 - Not much happened today, I resigned from my job as an Assistant Vice President for a major Bank after 23 years with them. There comes a point in your life when you must change and change is good. I received an offer from another bank and will start with them on the 30th. Thank you God for the support you give me. It is through you that I had the courage to change - to take control of my life again and to live!

4/25/2007 - I'm struggling to grasp how someone who has always been the "health nut" in my group of close friends can possibly have stage 4 stomach cancer. I got a call from my friend night before last and she dropped the bomb on me. Here is someone who ate healthy, ran marathons and now this. I'm not saying why god but I am praying to God to ask for a miracle.

3/25/2007 - ok so I get a call from the GYN - I need to go back for a spot magnification test because there is "something" on the film and they just want to be "sure" it's not cancer. Feeling a tad disturbed right now. I will update once I know what's going on.

3/26/2007 - "Unto each life a little rain must fall" - ok who said that? Pass me an umbrella will ya cause It's pouring over here!

I went back to the radiology center and they did the spot magnification test and immediately had me sit and wait for the Dr. I heard him calling my gyn and my pcp and mumble mumble mumble....I'm shuffled back into the dr's office and there on the film - are my breast 

2004, 2005 and now 2007 - ironically 2006 we never had a mammogram - too busy with the recovery process from the RNY and the Oopherectomy. The 2007 mammogram is so much smaller, prettier, flatter and speckled....The dr points to an area that's been circled and suddenly and @ this precise moment in time,(why???) I lose the ability to hear, comprehand, understand, and it seems I lose the ability to see as well..... Yadda, yadda, yadda.... something there, needle biopsy...if it is cancer it's very small, yadda yadda - he's sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher - wha wham wha wha wha..... I leave with a pink slip....HA!!!! The pink slip to life! It reads..... I'm ABNORMAL! - Well hell - we've known that for quite some time. I don't need a FUCKING  little grain of salt speck on my left Boob to tell me this.... Now I just need a sedative because I've sat in the car for 50 mins (ps: normally 15 mins if the fuckheads aren't on the road) driving back to the office to finish some work, balling my eyes out - but I refuse to give in to this. Cabrera - pity party of one - you're table is ready. - I'm done. 

Tomorrow I will call my PCP and set up the biopsy appt. If I can borrow a line from a brave man - LET'S ROLL!!!!

3/28/2007 - had the biopsy - ouch! now I get to sit and wait for 3-5 days for the pathology to come back on the biopsy. PS: When you don't have much of a breast to work with this needle biopsy thing is PAINFUL!

3/18/1007- I'm visiting home (Philadelphia) this weekend for my niece's batism and I'm spending some time with my best friend, Maria and her family. I've been relating to her my work troubles and one thing she pointed out is that I've always been a strong assertive woman, but now that I'm no longer fat, people may be perceiving me as a bitch. She suggested that I stand in front of a mirror and talk the way I would with customers persent to see how my facial features look now that I'm thinner. This is interesting since my boss recently commented to me about me flairing my eyes and nose - what this is her business, I know not why but I thought about Mars suggestion and I am going to put it into play. Let's see what comes of it. 

I'm going back home to Naples tomorrow - hopefully since there's been a heck of an ICE STORM here since I arrived Thursday night. Honestly, can't wait to get back home to my warm home in Sunny FL. I will take a hurricane anytime over ice and snow! I'm sorry to those who have suffered from a hurricane but Ice and snow are as trecherous if not worse for those who don't have the means to keep themselves warm. Several people have perished this weekend from trying to stay warm by alternative means

3/14/2007 - Today I went for my 1st mamogram since having had the RNY in 2005. It turned into a funny caper because the tech looked @ the chart then @ me and then back @ the chart. 

She had the larger film canester, the larger clamping devise to accomidate a larger area of breast tissue and the funniest look on her face as she asked me to confirm my ssn and dob. Once she noticed that the film was in fact mine she sheepishly inquired - what happened? to which I replied - GASTRIC BYPASS!!!!

The look on her face - P-R-I-C-E-L-E-S-S!!!!!

2/27/2007 - I'm counting down the days. By this time next week I will be sipping my crystal light while watching the Aruban sunet. I just can't wait. This is my gift to myself for finally feeling better. While I know I won't look ok in my bathing suit. I wll be wearing one. Hell, if I had the audacity to wear a swim suit when I was heavier, why the hell shouldn't I now?

With the exception of the bad back aches, I'm feeling so much better these days. I've been maintaining at about 144lbs. Excerising and making the most of my new body and life! For anyone contemplating this process, I strong suggest you educate yourself and then make a decision that's right for you. I know that if I had to do this over again, I would do it even with all the complications that I have undergone. 

3/13/2007 - I'm back - tired but a good tired. I had a blast in Aruba. Went Jetskiing and almost got flipped - guess what  - there's less of me and therefore I bounce on that contraption. Toured the Island by jeep and my tooshie hurt from bouncing around - no more fat to cushion me ass....I went rock climbing and never got winded.....Eating was a little bit of a challenge but I managed. I would package my meal and have lunch available for the next day. I'm looking forward to the OH Conference in Orlando in May - that will be my next big trip. Can't wait!

2/17/2007 - MY 42nd BIRTHDAY! WOW. I'm here - still here.... just 6 months ago and several surgeries ago, I didn't think I was going to be alive to say that, but by the grace of God, I am here. I spent the day with my son shopping for a new car. I found a wonderful little miata - I use to tell people I had the WLS so I could fit into a subcompact!!!!

All joking aside It was a beautiful day and then I spent the evening with my friend Sheri, she had Gallbladder surgery and I wanted to be there for her just as she has been there for me for all my surgeries.... you know what they say - pay it forward.