What a life

Apr 19, 2011

Hey my OH fam! I can't believe its been over 4 months since I've checked in! 4 days after my last blog Arrianna was born at a healthy 8lbs 4 oz's!!! I gained a total of 27 pounds and am still holding strong to 12 of them (which everyone says I look much better with). I LOVE being a mom and enjoying all these new experiences. However, it is time for me to get back on the grind of taking care of me  (excercising, eating healthy and taking all my vitamins!) SO I'll be coming on a little more regularly now to look for and provide motication and support as I am back on this journey!

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10 months preggers

Dec 04, 2010

I am ready to BLOW literally lol. I'm less than 2 weeks away from my original due date and 3 days away from the 2nd date they gave me. Who knows when this lil diva will decide to show between now and the end of the year. But her momma is ready for her to come NOW! I'm getting agitated and a tad bit uncomfortable. I can say that I did stay within my goal of only gaining 25 lbs during this pregnancy so I should only have 5-10 lbs to get off by my birthday in March.  So now my stats look like like this
299 Nov. 2007
286 April 14th 2008
158-date I found out I was pregnant May 2010
184-November 29 2010
????? Date of delivery

Next time I blog I'll be a mom :)

Almost 6 months :)

Aug 06, 2010

I am 22 weeks pregnant and I am feeling thepregnancy now lol.  I have received many compliments  as my waistline begin to expand and I know I feel as good as I do because I'm not 299 lbs trying to do this. I look how I've always wanted to look when I became pregnant like a thin woman with a belly  I kept sayin I was going to get me some breast this year and God agreed and gave me these C's to lug around for a while. I honestly feel good pregnant in my skin since I don't feel droopy and saggy.  My breast are filling out and the skin on my stomach is inflating as if there is a purpose for it being there.

We found out a couple of weeks ago that sweet pea is a girl! I'm excited that I get to parent a beautiful black girl into a woman and if her doing flips and poking me is any indiciation she is just as fiesty as her momma. So I look forward to telling her how beautiful she is and boosting her esteem until she can enhnace it and take it and be comfortable in knowing that momma and daddy will love her in spite of despite her faultsand mistakes just for being her. I look forward to her daddy showing her how every man she allows in her should treat her and adore her not for what she can offer but for what her simple presence adds to their life.
I know what hearing you're cute but...does to a little girl or how you need to stop eating so much will break a little girls confidence. I will teach her to enjoy food- not fear it, or depend on it for comfort or friendship. To enjoy being active in an activity that she loves to keep her moving and fit. And to LOVE her body with all her kinky hair, her dark skin,her curves (or if she like her momma lack of) but to know she is the ONE and ONLY gift that God gave the world to serve her purpose for Him.

I NEVER thought I could love anyone or anything as much as I love this little girl already and each day she grows I amazingly find more love to give her.
I can not wait to meet her.

creeping up on my 2nd trimester :)

Jun 05, 2010

Well its been 4 weeks since my first announcement of being pregnant and this has been wild! I have had every pregnancy symptom in the book and now @ almost 13 wks do I feel Ro coming back but I've felt this before lol I have had the worse dreams of miscarriages or this is a dream that I'm going to wake up from because I can't believe THIS has happened to me!! 

I was FINALLY  wrapping my head around enjoying the place where I am and not looking and stressing over at the next field or goal because that equates to stress which equates to overeeating and weight gain so I was content with enjoying the childless life. Although, this was a great joy I am still shock that I have a little person growing inside of me and its not about me anymore. I love that my waist is spreading that I can't  wear my size 8's its hard to wrap my mind around being ok with gaining when for all my adult life I've been trying to lose. I have an appt witg the NUT on Tuesday and my OB on Thursday to hopefully hear the heartbeat

 Pregnancy Ticker

I'm pregnant!

May 08, 2010

Wow is all I can say!!! The main reason I had the surgery was to get healthy enough to increase my fertility and 2 years later I'm PREGNANT! I was so shocked but so excited as well!!! My husband is beyond over the moon.  I'll be 9 weeks on Monday and my due date is December 15th!!! Now, the stress begins about this first trimester and ensuring that  I get everything that me and a growing fetus needs.

I'm already skeptical about whether my OB office has dealt with a post op pregnancy before and so I will continue to go to my surgeon NUT to ensure I'm getting the appropriate vitamins (the NP told me I could take only the prenatal to replace my current regiment) my NUT told me that it was only a replacement for ONE of the multivitamins I take and to continue to take 1 multi and the 2 calciums PLUS the B12 once a week.

I also need to get up to about 1800 calories and 80 grams of protein by the start of my 2nd trimester! I get in my 60 gs and thats a challenge and I only eat about 1000-1200 calories so its going to take some work on my part.

The nausea is gone...today lol and I've dealt with the worse of the symptoms when I didn't know I was pregnant so I'm hoping the worse is behind me if I could just get some energy! I feel tottaly drained and depleted every day. But I'm happy for the discomfort because if everything goes well before the end of the year I'll be a mommy!

No longer a honeymooner...2 years out

Apr 18, 2010

Wow...I am so blessed by this tool and at 2 years post op is still the same place I was at this time last year. I am finding I can eat a LOT more now, my clothese can get snug very tightly if I don't control my eating because I do not like any clothing that do not "fit me" this way I can tell immediatley whether I've strayed too far.

I still must go get me 2 yr labs done but been so busy but want to make sure that all my numbers are great.

When I look back...

Feb 13, 2010

I want to cry honestly. I see the pictures of me a couple of years ago and I just reflect on this tool and the way it has changed my life and I just become silent with awe. As I approach year number 2 I see yall coming up behind me and yall ahead of me and I just say WOW and yeah to us all! We took control over our lives and said satan you are a liar you will not defeat me you will not KILL me by obesity.

People look at me who haven't seen me since the surgery and I still get the look of shock which causes me to take a second look because this person is the true reflection of me and I forgot the old ro in the past. It feels great to not have to work out but to want to be active...to not have to weight to buy an item but to have to put it back because its too big. I've had a stressful time at work the last 6 months and I know that in my old body with my old attitude I would be stressed to the point of having a nervous breakdown but I take it all in stride and I know that if something can't be done its not a reflection of me personally and my world won't crumble if it don't get done nor does it devalue you me if I can't get it done.  A mental and emotional weight has been shed not just what the outsdie world can see. I look forward to this next year to see what God has in store for me.


This is talking to YOU!

Feb 07, 2010

 There are people that I have met that I LOVE on this journey  and are some of my closest friends. There are some that I have found out is plum crazy and the psych that cleared them should ahve their license revoked because they are as unstable as a 3 legged picnic table!  This blog is directed to you!

You people are CRAZY you know it and so does everyone else but your real life friends love you so they make excuses but you will never have any real friends as grownups trying to trick and manipulate people that's just sad and wrong and makes you sad and wrong too! I don't dislike you I feel sorry for you and your pitiful life and you really need to get a shrink to help you figure out why you do the things you do! And  this blog makes you mad or umcofortable then you are the you I'm talking to 

Hit dog will holla....

Ok, have a great day

The best intentions

Dec 16, 2009

I never believed vets that said the first few months of this journey was easy. I look back at how dedicated and dsciplined I was in the beginning and as the weight came off the more lax I became about the do's and don'ts of the surgery. Last year during this time I had lost 10 lbs this year I've gained 4. Its so funny to read the deep thoughts of those new on this journey but when the "newness" of the compliments wear off  and you know exactly how much sugar/carb will make you dump, and how many times you can skip the gym as weight loss no longer takes center focus of yours or anyone else's life. Come holla at me...

When you have to put a pillow between your knees at night because your bones rub together...come see me

When you're in a size 6/8 and everything is low cut, low rised or fitted because a size 6 should be thin  without the excess skin I have so nothing fits "just right" but there's no one to complain to because everyone else around you wishes to be your size even fellow WLS patients. Cry on my shoulder

When you run up stairs without something on your belly and it slaps against your thigh... look my way

When you lose friends because you're no longer part of the "big girl clique" that they can relate to and you find that you get snubbed a lot cause "you don't understand". I'll understand

This journey is great but its kinda like looking back over life and the older and wiser you get about the real world you think about how immature and naive you truly was in your 20's or even 30's when you thought you knew it all. The farther out I get the more I realized how much ore I have to learn.I read folks blogs or post 6 months and newer and they think they got it on LOCK but you still a baby in this thing and there are many errors to be made as we adjust. That's why its called "honeymoon" because as long as you HALF way working the tool the weight is goign to come off this is the time with your training wheels on to learn how to turn it into a lifestyle so you don't regain.  

To fresh newbies I say look at the folks farther out than you even those you think haven't worked their tool because most of us ran out the gate with the best intentions when we could eat a couple oz's of food walk a mile or so on the treadmill and 10 lbs come off.  Easy.

I followed my NUT's directions to the T 70 oz's of water, protein, and walked 6 miles EVERY day for the first 6 months. I didn't dump, no upset stomach, no testing my pouch until I was at my personal goal and was ready to maintain. i then began to introduce things into my diet in moderation.I hate to hear 2-3 months out someone testing cakes, or pasta, alcohol, cookies, not understanding that the weight may still come off but you're setting yourself up for failure and regression in the long term. I held true to the matra "let your body go where it wants to go". This is not a diet and you can not "make the weight stop" when you get good and ready beause i gurantee you will not stop butbegin to slowly gain the weight back or attempt to stall in furstration as the weight STILL comes off. 

I'm proud of everyone's success new post ops and old vets but lets remember this is a life long marathon not a sprint. Its not about how much weght you get off in the first year its how much you keep off in 5  So come holla at me in 5 years or even after your first 2 and lets compare stories

December where or where did 2009 go?

Dec 11, 2009

Wow! Is all I can say this has been a WONDERFUL year! I have met some amazing people from OH that I can now call friends, my support team, my counselors, my sisters AND brothers. As I go into the 2 year mark of having this surgery and changing my life I look back 2 years ago from this time when I was JUST beginning this process.

I was unhappy, disgusted, and just plain TIRED of living the life I was living and finally connected that it wasn't about my job, my husbannd, my family, or my friends the happiness and contentment that I was missing was missing because i was not happy or content with myself! That is a liberating feeling to realize that  I the power within me to change my life without anyone else doing a damn thing!

I've lived my life not necessarily for but THROUGH other people and other things. Figuring if I showed the world how good of a wife, employee, friend, sister, daughter, aunt I was they would look over how badly I was treating myself because I "had" to take care of them and that would give me brownie points for being a 31 year old 299 lb woman with infertility issues, high blood pressure, diabetes, and back pain. But it didn't and when I made the final deision to do what I needed to do to get me healthy I began my journey to happiness.

I believe next year and the eyars to come will be harder than these first 2 years were simply because I've slipped back into some habits because I want to. I have become so selfish that I feel that I should be able to have whatever I want whenver I want it and not have to worry about the consequences. So, next month I'm going to start some type of consistent routine, I've made an appt. with my NUT to get my eating under control (I hate to spend the $50.00) but gotta do it lol), and I'm going to get involved more with the structured support group. My goal for next year is to be the same size 6 I am today this time next year. Unless I have my tummy done which case I may be a size 4/6 and I hope to continue to inspire and encourage those behind me nd even those that went before me but may have gotten off track with their journey.

If I don't get back to write..have a Merry Christmas and a rocking new year!

About Me
Lawrenceville, GA
Surgery Date
Dec 08, 2007
Member Since

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