queenieredhead
The earliest memory of being overweight was when I was in the 4th grade and weighed a whopping 140 pounds. After finishing the 6th grade, I was determined to lose some weight over the summer before I got to junior high school. I went on a diet with my dad and lost alot of weight that summer. I can remember wearing a size 13 junior jeans that were hip huggers. That was the style and I could wear them! I was so proud of myself. It wasn't long until I was back to my old eating habits and I gained all that weight back and more. I remember being overweight in high school and I felt like I was left out of everything. I didn't even have a real date in high school. Talk about hurting your self esteem :( My best friends brother was a junior in high school and he didn't have a date so my friend volunteered me. So I went to his junior prom with him. It wasn't really a date but it was good to get out of the house and go somewhere for a change. I did all the normal things that teenagers do, except date. I didn't even go to my junior or senior prom. I got my learner's permit when I was 15 years old and my drivers license on my 16th birthday. I worked during high school so that kept me busy. I remember when I graduated from high school that I wanted to go to college but the thought of being 22 years old when I finished college just sounded soooo old. So I decided I'd wait a little while. And the rest is history. I got pregnant and had my first child. I now have 4 children and I'm still working on getting my college degree. I continued to eat my way thru my 20's and 30's. I would go on a diet and lose a few pounds but I'd always manage to gain it back plus a little more. I tried Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Atkins Diet, Scarsdale Diet, Grapefruit Diet, South Beach Diet, Slim Fast Diet, Low Calorie Diet, High Protein Diet, Low Fat Diet, Nutri System and Opti Fast. You name it, I tried it. I used to sit in front of the TV watching Richard Simmons while I was eating something I shouldn't be eating. Eating is like an addiction for me. I can't control it. I try so hard but once that hunger pain hits me, off to the kitchen I go and I always emerge with something that I shouldn't be eating.
I started researching WLS about 4 years ago. I knew a few folks who had it and they did very well. But the thought of having surgery seemed sooo drastic to me. I thought that instead of doing that to myself, that surely I could do this by myself without permanently changing my body and all its plumbing. That's the part that scared me the most. That if I had the surgery and it made me feel sick all the time, I'd be miserable and regretful for the rest of my life! But it would be too late to change it. It would be like having a life sentence and no way to change it. I tried a few more attempts at losing weight in lieu of having WLS. Surely to goodness I could do this on my own without surgery. I failed at those too. I met a few people at work who had the surgery and they looked great. They didn't even look the same in the face. One of them told me about OH and I came here and started trolling around and reading profiles and looking at before and after pics and I was like, "holy cow, what a difference a 100 pounds can make!" I also started watching gastric bypass shows on Discovery Health Channel and those really inspired me. I feel like if I can have the surgery that I can be successful once and for all at keeping the weight off permanently. I'm sooo ready to change my life and be able to walk around and do things. I had foot surgery on my left foot in June 2006 and then I had knee surgery on my right knee in Feb 2007. So both my legs hurt when I walk so its like hobbling from one leg to the other. I know if I lost weight, I could walk better and get around better. Not to mention I'd have sooo much more energy than I do right now. I hardly have no energy at all so anything would be an improvement. I don't feel like doing anything with the kids when I get home from work. And on the weekends, they always want to go somewhere and do something but I never feel like it. I'm worn out from working all week. I'm only 45 years old and I shouldn't feel this way. My father died in 2002 with congestive heart failure, diabetes and high blood pressure. My maternal grandmother and grandfather both died of heart disease. My mother has high blood pressure and real bad arthritis in her legs. I have a surgery date of August 8th but that is pending insurance approval through BCBS of Alabama. I have really started to curb my eating and counting calories and being more mindful of what I put into my mouth and making good choices about my food. I will not win this battle if I don't fight back. I try not to consume empty calories that have no nutritional value. Please pray for me that my insurance approves this surgery. If they deny me, I won't give up. I'll appeal it. This is my life and I feel like having WLS will be a tool to help me reclaim my life. I'll keep everyone updated as time rolls along.
Hugs, Vicky
