Paula Chapman
In My Mind and Out My Fingers 8-18-07
Aug 18, 2007
I had a visit with Dr. S. two days ago. Everything is a go for the DS Revision that I need. Dr. S. made is very clear to me that with all my other surgeries, he may not be able to do the full DS because of scaring and adhesions. He also told me the more weight I could get off before surgery the better chance he would have because it would make my liver smaller. I questioned him on a starvation diet ( about 400-600 calories). He said that he wanted me to do that for two weeks before my surgery. I have chosen to start it now. I am drinking medifast liquid protein drink. It is so hard to know what is right. But I know I want to give myself the best possible chance of success. Dr. Simper is going to try to take out the staples and recut my stomach. I just really pray that he doesn't have any problems with putting the stapled parts back together. I have been on this low calorie fast for about 48 hours right now. I am experiencing the usual things one gets when your body is internally clensing. I have a headache. My mouth tastes horrible, and I am a bit cranky. I just need to keep my eyes on the prize and know that THIS time I won't gain this weight back. Every pound I lose will be gone forever! I am taking cholophyl tablets. They really seem to help with the bad breath and stuff. I have 22 days until surgery. I will have been on this diet 24 days. I am hoping to lose 30 lbs. I don't know though, my body doesn't lose weight very fast any more. I am planning on having a very quiet weekend. That will give my body time to adjust to this new regime. I have done this about 3 times this year, thinking I was near surgery. Each time I gained the weight right back after going off the medifast. It will be very fun to learn how to eat and nourish myself without gaing weight! Please, Please, Please, let the DS be magic for me too!
In My Mind and Out my Fingers
Aug 05, 2007
Here I am back at posting today. I thought I wouldn't post until I met with the surgeon again, but my mind has been spinning. I have began to have dreams again. I am dreaming of a new career, of a little vacation to Cancuun with my husband, and buying new cute clothes. Oh how I hope I have not gotten to old to get back to life. I have one little dream that I have had since I was a young girl. I have never made it come true. But I feel that if the DS is a success, maybe I can try to make it happen. I have always wanted to dance. You know, be held in my husbands arms and gracefully, beautifully waltz around the dance floor. Or tango, oh would that ever be wonderful. I have never felt particularly graceful. Of course who can be graceful carrying an extra 200 lbs??? My goal as soon as I am half way there,100 lbs lost, I am going to sign up for dance lessons. I hope even with my failing joints I can be light on my feet.
In my mind and out my fingers
Aug 03, 2007
Today is August 3, 2007
I decided today that I would journal all my thoughts and happenings in hopes that down the road it may help someone with their journey. Right now I don't know whether I am going to be a failure or success with this. I do know that I am taking the journey and putting all I have left into it.
I am 53 years young and have battled with obesity all my life. Have you even met a person who seems outgoing on the outside, but deep down they are very shy? That is me. I tried so hard all my life NEVER to let my weight color my choices. I have had a very successful life on the outside. I had an important career. I did lots of fancy living. I was loved and gave love. But inside I was crying out in pain and failure at my body's attempts to be normal. I had a stomach staple in the late 70's, and after failing that, just tried to keep up with life. In my heart I have always been a recluse, so I am not surprized that when my health became to poor to work, I excused myself from life and except for a few people now and then, stayed home. So here I am at 53, fast on my way to dying, unless I can intercede for myself. That brings me to here. I found the DS Forum quite by mistake one day while investigating WLS. That was in December of 2006. By January of 2007, I was sold. I knew this was the surgery for me. From January to July 30,2007, I worked on finding a surgeon to do a revision, getting all the tests, jumping through hoops for the insurance and basically fighting the good fight. I have been approved for the DS surgery by my insurer Unicare. I meet with the surgeon one more time on August 16,2007, at that time he will give me a date.
I am excited, terrified, thrilled, scared, hopeful, and fearful. All my sweet DS family have done this and succeeded. I want to be like them. I sooooo want this to work for me. I have learned all the rules and I plan on living them each day. I have already started on my vitamin program and I have been walking in the pool at least three times a week this summer. I hope it is enough to get me through the surgery alive. I will just have to trust my surgeon Steven Simper for that. Well I will post again after I get my date!
I decided today that I would journal all my thoughts and happenings in hopes that down the road it may help someone with their journey. Right now I don't know whether I am going to be a failure or success with this. I do know that I am taking the journey and putting all I have left into it.
I am 53 years young and have battled with obesity all my life. Have you even met a person who seems outgoing on the outside, but deep down they are very shy? That is me. I tried so hard all my life NEVER to let my weight color my choices. I have had a very successful life on the outside. I had an important career. I did lots of fancy living. I was loved and gave love. But inside I was crying out in pain and failure at my body's attempts to be normal. I had a stomach staple in the late 70's, and after failing that, just tried to keep up with life. In my heart I have always been a recluse, so I am not surprized that when my health became to poor to work, I excused myself from life and except for a few people now and then, stayed home. So here I am at 53, fast on my way to dying, unless I can intercede for myself. That brings me to here. I found the DS Forum quite by mistake one day while investigating WLS. That was in December of 2006. By January of 2007, I was sold. I knew this was the surgery for me. From January to July 30,2007, I worked on finding a surgeon to do a revision, getting all the tests, jumping through hoops for the insurance and basically fighting the good fight. I have been approved for the DS surgery by my insurer Unicare. I meet with the surgeon one more time on August 16,2007, at that time he will give me a date.
I am excited, terrified, thrilled, scared, hopeful, and fearful. All my sweet DS family have done this and succeeded. I want to be like them. I sooooo want this to work for me. I have learned all the rules and I plan on living them each day. I have already started on my vitamin program and I have been walking in the pool at least three times a week this summer. I hope it is enough to get me through the surgery alive. I will just have to trust my surgeon Steven Simper for that. Well I will post again after I get my date!
