Bad Bad Day........

Oct 18, 2009

Well, I think I am losing it now.  This has been the worst day emotionally for me so far.  I have cried a lot today.  I have lost all of my pateince with everyone and I feel like I am not doing this diet the right way.  I am trying to stay within the amounts the doctor's diet suggests to.  I have a half an ounce of LF or FF cheese (for the protein), and a few wheat crackers.  I have a tablespoon of a baked potato with FF shredded cheese on it.  I try to drink as much of the shakes as I can.  I have to take 2 of my pills crushed up, so I put them in a half teaspoon of SF pudding.  I have popsicles to help with hydration and a decent taste in my mouth.  I don't see the point of making soup when I can't have but a tablespoon of it.  I am such a picky eater, that it is hard for me.  I am losing weight, but today, I actually thought, why the heck did I do this.  Why did I put myself through this?  My husband has been gone to Afghanistan since April and he is coming home in a little over 2 weeks.  I need to get it together before then.  I don't want to be a weeping basketcase when he gets home.  Please tell me this gets better.  It has to get better.  I am scared to eat too much because I do not want to stretch my pouch or make myself sick.  I feel like I am losing my mind!  I am so frustrated.  I need good sleep.  I need a routine.  I am going stir crazy too.  I am going to go to our track here on base tomorrow and walk in the fresh air for a while.  I have got to get a grip on this.  I am just so upset right now. 

4 Comments