Safely in the 290's

Oct 12, 2008

Well things are swimming along.  I have stopped obsessing about what I eat and settled.  I spent this weekend with a girlfriend of mine in Baltimore, we went to dinner, then a small party, Sunday we had brunch, then shopping and movies.  I can honestly say I overate at brunch.  I may have eaten too much at dinner, but since I was in a retaurant it was hard to tell. 

I'm still mostly eating stuff that can be calculated exactly so eating in a restaurant is not something I want to do a lot.  I think they cook everything in butter, olive oil, lard, who knows??????

Oh and I ate a cupcake Saturday night.  since surgery I have not had any 'sweets'.  Since I'm a revision I know how my body handles sugar already.  I must have had some bad PMS Friday because I was ready to trade a kidney for a piece of cheesecake.  And I don't even like cheesecake all that much!  lol. 

So I ate this spicy cupcake.  It wasn't sweetened with sugar, I have no idea what it was sweetened with.  I know it contained large amounts of chili powder.  lol. 

Sunday before the movies, we went to a chocolatier in downtown Baltimore.  I wanted to pick up a small box for my best friend and smaller box for my boyfriend.  My friend Raquelle bought both of us a pumpkin truffle and it was super crazy tasty.  Also, while raquelle and her boyrfiend had been in NYC, they'd puchased me a small bag of chocolates and truffles from a world famous chocolatier.  While sitting in traffic yesterday I ate 2. 

I did feel kind of weak for having so much' chocolate in one day. 

My mom snagged one of the chocolates purchased for me, so I think there are 4 or 5 left.  I plan on eating them when i want.  The important thing (I think is not to eat them at one time or anything.  I think the die hard GB post ops would yell at me for eating them at all.  I don't feel like I have to have them but I do want to have them available.

I'm still not interested in food a lot.  I am starting to get hungry in the mornings and then I find late afternoons I'm famished.  However, I am eating regularly.

Instead of eating 3 meals a day. this is how my day breaks down.  I remember after my first GB and for years after, I ate like 5 times a day.  When I stopped, i began gaining weight.  And the fact that they don't want us eating more than 3 times a day because it can lead to grazing is understandable.  However, I've been doing the 5 times like before and I feel better, I'm getting more calories in (which i really needed) and I've been losing weight.  So I'm gonna try this for a while.

I'm at 296.5 this morning.  I've been inthe mid 290's for a week.  I'm pretty excited.  i don't think I'll see 300 again :)

2nd Post Op Appointment, Nausea and Gyms

Oct 03, 2008

Had my second followup this week.  Was supposed to meet with the nutritionist and the surgeon, Dr Tran but after giving him a piece of my mind about the nut NOT returning my calls, I declined to see her. 

Besides, as I explained, if she isn't there to give advice and talk the patient off the ledge once in a while then WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE?

I felt a bit like a bitch but ehh life goes on.

I do like Dr Tran a lot.  He settled my mindl  Told me revision weight loss is SLOOOOOW and I was doing great.  My official weight was 308...which is total bullshit.  It also means I have lost 8 pounds in a month.  Yea this is totally not like my original GB where I lost 60 pounds in the first month!  Anyway...

finally the scale at home had moved to 297 on Tuesday.  YAY But of course I know I can't count on that unless it weighs me that way for a few days.  thats the scale I'm going by. 

Wednesday I had outpatient surgery for some girlie stuff (second time this year actually) and when I told Dr Tran that he said my weight was probably not accurate because I was pumped full of fluid and it would be a few a days before it had worked its way out of me.  So I am guessing my weight is just under 300, but we'll see.

The nausea is consuming me.  I feel I need to eat because the only time I'm not nauseous is when I am consuming food.  of course, I don't really want to eat so its a catch 22.  I've eaten more today and yesterday though than usual.  I was starving to death.  yesterday I went to one of my favorite lunch places with my boyfriend.  It was nice.  I ate 4 bites and he looked at me and said 'aaaand she's done'.  he thought it was funny as did I.  i took the rest to go, ate more later in the day (bad girl, semi grazing) but it was protein I was eating, well mostly protein.  So that lunch out upped my caloric intake highly.

Ive been nauseous for 2 weeks or so but since surgery on Wednesday its just unbearable.  I'm running a low fever now too as if to add insult to injury.  I've been advised to stay in bed and REST (something I'm not good at) and force as many fluids as possible. 

Other than the nausea and the sheer exhaustion (im sure surgery related) I feel fine. 

I'm looking for a gym with a pool, I need to exercise more and my knees and shins just KILL me after I workout...soooo...I need something made for me.  And a pool is it.  I'll be checking out some this weekend.  The only place near my house with a pool is 2 rec centers.  The regular gyms like golds and ballys don't have pools whichs sucks because I'd like to swim after work most days instead of before.  We'll see. 

Traffic considerations have to be noted for this area...its complicated getting something convenient.

Ok, I'm of to bed. Taking my neice to her ballet class in the morning then coming home and resting soundly. 

Failure

Sep 18, 2008

OK.  2 weeks.  No weight loss.

Am I a failure barely 1 month post op?

I really feel like it.  I've tried this week to be less obsessive about my eating and drinking.  I am still keeping the spreadsheet and still keeping it up to date and still freaking out every time I se my total calories go up.

Last night I went to dinner with one of my girlfriends, we went to a favorite restaurant of mine, I did eat more than normal and it was over the course of about an hour or so.  It's not a habit I'll keep up and I didn't eat until I was overly full, in fact was full and quite satisfied.  After 3 weeks of eating plain tuna, cheese, cauliflower and canned chicken or ham I was ready for something yummy.  I had a crab cake and some pickled herring.  not a lot of either, but since I nibbled after I was 'done' and let my food settle and had a few other bites...bad girl.  It was the first meal in weeks that i didn't have a caloric/protein/fat/carb count for!

Most everything I've read and the advice I've gotten says I should be consuming about 1200 calories a day.  I'm still averaging 700ish, although with last nights meal and tonights (leftover crab cake) that is probably up a bit.

I'm just so...disappointed.  That's really the word.

I didn't weigh myself Monday or Tuesday.  Wednesday I did.  301.5.  I didn't weigh myself this morning but did just a few minutes ago, 300.0.  I keep expecting the weight loss to kick off again...even with low calories shouldn't my body adjust?  And get out of starvation mode?

I've left 2 messages for the nutritionist to call me and apparently my concerns aren't important to her because she hasn't bothered to return my calls in a week.  Do i sound bitchy?  Well i have a right to be, I think.

I know I need to exercise more but right now it takes a good day or two just to recover from exercising!  Yesterday my boyfriend and I went for a walk at lunch, probably walked a mile or so and my thighs and shins hurt so bad even now that I'm limping when I walk.  How can I exercise every day when I hurt so bad?  I need to just suck it up I guess.

Man I'm sad.  I wish I hadn't gotten on the scale tonight. 

Heavy sigh.

I really thought I was doing everything right.

Stuck, Support Groups and Spreadsheets

Sep 15, 2008

Well I'm a little over 3 weeks post op, my one month is this coming weekend.  I really wish whatever plateau or whatever I'm on would end as it is terribly depressing!

I'm pissed that I called the nutruitionist at my surgeons office and she didn't bother to call me back. I know I must have sounded like a frickin moron on the message I left for her but I needed to speak to her about things.  C'est La Vie.

I've calmed down a little as far as obsessing on everything I'm eating.  I'm still obsessing just not quite as much.  I've posted a few concerns on the boards and to be honest, every surgeon is different as is every nutritonist so its hard to tell what is going on, if I'm doing wrong, right or whatever. 

I have a spreadsheet to keep track of my protein and calories.  I'm eating mainly foods high in protein and I am happy about that, I don't think I got in as much protein when I had my first GB.

For the past week my average daily protein is 76 grams a day; my average calories are 754.  Friday I consumed 1130, which was the most I've had in one day since surgery, not good.  But my mother is convinced I'm not getting in enough hovering at 700 or so a day.  Last night after dinner I was at 490 and ended up having a high protein snack to boost it up.

I didn't weigh myself this morning on the way out of the house, but yesterday was still hovering at 300.  I really cannot believe I'm stalled for this long.  It scares me because it reminds me of how I STOPPED losing at 280 with my previous GB...am I destined to just stall out?  And lets not forget with my liquid diet pre-surgery I lost 15 pounds fast then stalled and only lost like another 2 or 5 pounds after the first week.

See?  I'm turning into a neurotic!

Tonight there is a support group meeting and I'm going to go, I'm not a huge fan of support groups because if I recall correctly, people make me nuts in them but I am going to go and keep an open mind.

It's really hard for me to be content with the 40 pounds of weight loss right now.  I am about 2 seconds from going back to a liquid diet.  Maybe I can only lose weight on fewer than 400 calories a day.  Who knows?

I do need to exercise more, I know that but it takes a good day or so for my knees and back to get back to normal so I can exercise again. Ahhh the joys of obesity.


Stuck Weight, Worries about Food and Clothing

Sep 10, 2008

So Sunday the scale got down to 295.  I was so excited.  Of course the next day it was at 304, then yesterday 303 and today 301. 

I’m confused and pissed off.  My mom says I’m starving myself but I have begun a spreadsheet and yesterday I consumed 745ish calories.  That seems like so much.  I also got about 80 gram of protein!  I’ve focused so much on getting a lot of protein that I may be overdoing it.  I am not sure if that’s possible.

I’d like to wait to see the nutritionist but I’m not sure I can, I’m so sure I’m screwing up with my food choices.  Maybe not.  Maybe this is lingering PMS and I’m fine. 

I do tend to lose in surges, stay within a few pounds for a few days then BAM lose 7 pounds.  We’ll see.  I want to be way far away from 300, I don’t want it to rear its ugly head any more. 

I realize I’m only 3 weeks post-op and I’ve lost roughly 40ish pounds and I should be thankful, and I am, I’m just impatient I guess.

Yesterday was a crappy day for me.  I got some bad news and I felt awful.  The dress I wore to work looked sloppy.  It has a semi wrap front, the top wraps and its an empire waist.  The last time I wore it was about 2 months ago and the tie on the side hadn’t been adjusted, when I got to work I looked in a full length mirror and was mortified.  I looked sloppy and gross and I’ve never been that way.  I adjusted the tie and walked tall, hoping correct posture would help (it did).  When my mom saw me she said it flatly:  its just too big to wear any more.  I love that dress L

My boyfriend asked me if I’d wear his favorite shirt today and I did.  I had to wear it with a skirt, but the skirt I wanted to wear was far too summery so I put on one of my suit skirts which had gotten so tight it was in bad taste to wear them, lest I look like a stuffed sausage.  Today I tried one on.  Fits.  Perfectly.  So maybe I’m losing more inches than pounds right now.  I don’t know.  Anyway the shirt is too big, 10 more pounds and I won’t be able to wear it again.  I have so much clothing and stylish stuff too.  Someone is going to benefit from my weight loss, that’s for sure.

Up to 15 minutes on my elliptical, although there is a loose piece on my elliptical which my dad said he will fix for me, he needs a special part for it.  I don’t think I can use it until it gets fixed because it causes me to come down on the side of my foot, needless to say the side of my foot is killing me.  It’ll be ok tho. 

I know I’ve lost weight but I’m just not seeing it.  Classic fast weight loss syndrome, I know.  My face is all weird, like its settling and I hate it.  I’m just all whiny today aren’t I??  lol.

Well back to work…have a great day!


Slightly Freaking Out

Sep 04, 2008

Grrrrr.  I spoke too soon. 

I woke up yesterday and the scale read 304.5.  What the frick?  How could I GAIN 5 pounds overnight?  WEll technically 5.5.  I am so mad.

I talked about it with my mom and she said while I wasn't doing anything wrong, that maybe I was doing enough right.  I've been concentrating on proteins so at several meals I've skipped having fruits or veggies. 

Also I need to concentrate on my fluid intake. 

2 days this week I have only had to void my bladder twice a day....in the morning and then at night.  This is NOT normal for me.  So yes, I'm freaking out.  I kept close track of things yesterday.  I consumed roughly 50 ounces of water/crystal light and only voided my bladder at night....I mean I began drinking after I woke.

I did run a few errands yesterday and did a LOT of housework so I was physically active. 

I'm just freaking out that I've screwed up already! 

Of course it could also be PMS, It's about the right time for that I just never really weighed myself before so I didn't notice fluctuations in water weight. 

Ugh.

I'm scared.  Seriously.

So yesterday this is what i ate in addition to the water drinking.

8am     6 ounces of hi protein mint hot chocolate (only 60 calories in 8 ounces and I didn't drink all of it, plus 14 gs of protein!!! (I think, now i can't remember)

9:15     1tbsp diced sf peaches; 1 tbsp chicken slad (shredded chicken and egg with mayo) on 2 saltines

2:00      1 ounce low fat cheese stick (60 cals, 8 gs protein)
               1 tbsp egg salad on 2 crackers
               1 tbsp of chicken slad on 2 crackers
(hindsight that looks like a lot of food!)

6:00       1 ounce low far cheese stick
                2 marinated cauliflower crowns (very soft and mushy)
                2  marinated carrot slices (mushy too)
                1 cucumber slice
                 1/2 tbsp chicken salad

And that was it, I didn't eat or snack or anything and this morning I was only down about 1 pound.  Can you see why I'm freaking out?  I don't really think I'm eating anything high calorie, at the most I'm consuming a day can't be more than 500, maybe it is.  Ugh.  I really hope this is PMS and not me having screwed up.  Maybe I should call the doctor.  Or maybe I should stop freaking out.

Today I got up, filled my water bottle and started drinking, used my elliptical for 12 minutes (I know it doesn't sound like much but it is HARD! lol)

Then for breakfast I had 1/4 of a soft peach (about 2 tbsp) and 1 tbsp of egg salad on 2 saltines.

My mom thinks before I wasn't getting any carbs at all so maybe that was the problem.  So that's why I was adding the saltines.  They mush up well.

The other hands says maybe I need some extra fat.  I mean I am getting some fat in my diet (eg the mayo) but not a lot. 

Also I think I need to stop getting on the scale twice a day.  I know I weigh less in the morning than at night, but still. 

Blah.

On a positive note, I tried on my favorite red cocktail dress that is a 22/24 and was tailored for me to be quite form fitting around the bodice, I had outgrown it but I tried it on this morning and Even though I still have my upper tummy sticking out, it was totally wearable in public!!!

Cross your fingers for me.

My First Goal

Sep 02, 2008

This morning I woke up to find I had reached my first goal. 299.0 on the scale.

I am officially under 300.  Sure it might be premature to mark my goal complete but I feel like saying farewell 300 I shall never see you again.  Be gone.  Don't come back and bring 40 friends like you did last time.

I've officially lost 41 pounds.  Holy crap.  I'm shocked.  I'm amazed.  I'm thrilled!

I remember Dr Halmi and I talking about the revision and he expected me to lose 70 pounds or so.  My goal was only 140 pound to lose (twice his).  At the rate I'm going  I am going to surpass his goal within a few months!  I'm giddy.  pardon me while I go wipe the grin off my face...

First Follow Up and Progress

Aug 28, 2008

I'm feeling really good!  I had a doctor appointment wednesday with another doctor and when he asked what had been going on and I replied I'd had my gastric bypass revised a week prior he flat out didn't believe me.  So yea, I am feeling fine!!

Wednesday night I decided I'd had enough liquid food and joined the family for dinner.  I ate 3/4 ounce of baked tilapia, 2 tsps of green beans that had been cooked to death and 1 tsp of mushy potato.  it was the best food ever!!  I did feel very satisfied and good and everything went down smoothly (I did chew it to hell too).

For breakfast today I ate 1 tablespoon of lowfat cottage cheese and 1.5 tablespoons of ham salad (shredded up canned ham, diced boiled egg and a little lite mayo mixed in). 

I had my first followup with Dr Tran/Halmi and the Nutritionist, Brittany today.  I had several food questions for brittanny, like can I eat sashimi (raw fish, without rice), hot peppers.  All kinds of stuff I'd been kind of craving.

Dr Tran was the surgeon who saw me today and he said I was doing wel, told me I could remove my steri strips in the shower (they are getting on my damn nerves).  We talked about exercise (he gave me the go ahead for elliptical) and a few other things.

One of the things I misunderstood about the surgery was the stoma.  I forgot the stoma is where the food leaves the stomach and goes into the small intestine.  Apparently mine had gotten big.  My former pouch was still only 5 or 6 ounces but the stoma was big enoigh that food came and went and quickly, hence the continuous hunger.

I'm still disapointed they couldn't do more bypass on me:(  He tried to make me feel better about it, but I probably am going to continue to pout internally.  C'est la vie.

Dr Tran also talked to me abouit the fact my body is not responding the same as my first bypass...I recall the first time having zero interest in food but now I do and I wish I didn't.  Its not bad but it's not what I thought it would be before.  I honestly thought something was wrong with me!  Turns out no, it isn't.  It sounds like I'm exactly where I should be, which does make me happy.

Oh I had him look back at my weights.  My first appointment I was at 340.  My last appointment I was at 327 and today..316.  Since I did gain weight in the hospital ( yea it was water weight) I consider I've lost about 24 pounds.  BUT if we do it the honest way I've lost 11 in a week...not too shabby.

Surgery and Recovering...

Aug 24, 2008

7:45 am. I woke up about 10 minutes ago, went to the bathroom (which, post-surgery is a thing to be joyful for) and decided I should blog. But now that I am sitting up, and I have the laptop open, I’m overwhelmed by exhaustion. What an odd feeling. Hate being this tired for no reason.    Maybe I’ll try and tough it out and finish a blog. I should come up with a new word for blog. 

Blog usually means something short and sweet, and my long diatribes are anything but. I’ll work on that with my next pain med dose.   So as you have guessed by now, I am alive and well. It’s been an interesting little journey so far.  

Wednesday morning I had to be at the hospital at 6:30 in the morning. We left the house with just enough time to get to the hospital, I wasn’t in the mood to sit around waiting so I cut it close. Of course, we got stuck in traffic and ended up being late but it didn’t seem to impact anything too bad. On the way to the hospital, Justin called just after waking up to wish me well and all that and remind me to have my dad call the moment I was out of surgery and then as soon as I had my room assignment.  

God I feel nauseated. Blah.  

Jamie was already at the hospital when we got there, she, the Fran my nephew and I went to the Surgical suite while dad went to get them all breakfast. I was checked in, signed off on a bunch of papers and then waited about 5 minutes to be called back. Jamie came with me. I changed into a hospital gown, and the nurse began talking with me about what would be done and what I could expect during the next hour of poking and prodding. A short bit later, a nurse came in to draw blood and also to start my IV. 

Around this time, an anesthesiologist came in and started talking to me about anesthesia. I asked him if he was having a good day, he said ‘you’re my last patient and I get off in 10 minutes’ we all laughed about that then Anesthesiologist Ted came in and I asked if HE was having a good day. He gave me the Austin Powers ‘Yea baby yea’. I absolutely love Anesthesiologist Ted. He was funny and nice and just all around nice. We discussed all my allergies then said he would not use lidocaine on me and all that.  

My surgeons came by to say Hi. I asked if they were having a good day. Dr Halmi smiled warmly and said yes, Dr Tran, the younger of the two said he left the bar 3:30 since they close at 4 so he’d gotten some sleep and felt good. Haha. Surgeons with a sense of humor.   Jamie and I spent the entire time cracking jokes and stuff until she was told it was time for me to go. I was wheeled into the operating room and almost immediately I was out. 

I saw Dr Halmi all masked up and I remember trying to ask him to save my gallstones since I thought it would be cool to keep them in a jar on my desk but I never got the words out.   The next thing I remember is Anesthesiologist Ted calling my name and I was squinting, I have these two wrinkles between my eyes where I’ve been squinting a lot and he rubbed it with his thumb and told me not to frown. The oxygen mask was on me and I wanted to throw up. It was finally replaced with the in your nose oxygen and the recovery nurse asked about pain and nausea, to which she responded by giving me lovely shots to fix both. 

Anesthesiologist Ted told me I had cuts on my eyelids but not to worry, they were minor. Initially I thought I had done it trying to rub my eyes or something but now I know it was from having my eyes taped shut, and since I have an adhesive allergy my guess if the cuts happened when they removed the tape. Have to tell you, it really hurts. According to Jamie that’s what I was complaining about as soon s they saw me.   I was only in surgery about 2.5 hours and then my mom was freaking because I was in recovery for an hour and a half, even though the nurse to Jamie I’d be in between 1 and 3 hours, my mom was still worried. But then I was wheeled up to my room, hooked up to all the machines I needed and my parents, my nephew and Jamie came in the room. Since I had a private room they didn’t say anything about having a bunch of people in there. Usually it’s 2 visitors but I was alone so 4 was ok.   

I kept wanting to get up and walk. I’m freaked about blood clots and knew I needed to walk to get my legs moving. Nurse Katie told me she’d tell me when I could walk and not to worry about it.   

Was hooked up to morphine with a pump and didn’t use it too much. Initially I just felt awful. More pain than I expected and I was so nauseated, I suspected if the pain went away so would the nausea.   

I got flowers delivered from Raquelle and Alex, they were the most unusual arrangement and everyone who came in had to touch and smell them. My parents took turns napping in the recliner by the window and eventually they decided to leave around 5. I really hated for people to be there while I was sleeping. I kept dozing off during conversation and I know its annoying. They left and Jamie said she was planning on staying. Not 20 minutes after my parents left Justin came in and scared the hell out of me. He’s so quiet.   He sat on the right side of my bed, held my hand, touched me sweetly. Jamie left to give us some privacy and I have to talk about something gross.  

So I was on strict ‘Nothing By Mouth’ orders. My mouth was DRY and icky and like just horrible. I was given these sponges on sticks, they call them lollipops. They put them in ice water and you can swab the inside of your mouth with them. I was also given this minty stuff to rub on your gums to help. It was nice enough but didn’t substitute a big glass of ice water.   Once Jamie left Justin leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips. 

Naturally I wanted to kiss him back and tried to protest since I knew the state of my mouth. He protested more strongly and asked me to let him kiss me. So he did. A lot. It felt nice. He gets definite boyfriend points because I don’t know if I could have stomached it. Lol. He and I did a lot of talking although I can’t remember most of it. Yes, I know he loves me but I think him sitting there, stroking my leg and my face and my hand it was more apparent than ever how much I do mean to him.  

OMG I need a nap.  

Jamie came back and I had been off the morphine for a few hours, we all talked and joked and talked some more. Then Nurse Katie said I could go for a walk (I just remember my dad and she took me on one walk before then). I asked Justin if he would like to walk with Jamie and I. He said of course so Jamie got me all unhooked from machinery and then we went for a walk, we did 3 laps I think around the hospital floor. It was actually quite enjoyable. We made jokes about the fact I was filled with air and catheterized. Lol.  

Shit now I feel dizzy. Maybe I need some breakfast. I think I consumed all of 200 calories yesterday so I might be low right now. Ok, I’m going to save this and come back later.  

Ok had something to drink and a nap and now I need another nap but thought I’d write for a few before passing out again. This whole surgery thing is annoying. I just feel exhausted even though I’m not popping pain killers like candy even! I’ve taken 5 since Thursday, 5! That’s nothing!  

So Justin stayed a long time, I kept prodding him to leave and he told me he would leave later. Before leaving he kissed me so softly and romatical like. Jamie averted her eyes, I’m sure it was revolting to watch. But after the lovely perk me up kissing, he said he loved me and told me not to be super woman, take my drugs, don’t over exert myself and he’d see me the next day.   I kept dozing off and Jamie turned off the lights, shut the door and she fell asleep in the recliner. 

The issue with hospitals…you can’t sleep for shit. All the varied ambient noise, machines beeping, nurses coming in to check you. I’d sleep for 30-45 minutes then be up for half an hour and then repeat all night. Very annoying. At 5 am I was up. One of the nurses came in and Jamie woke up, I made her take me on a walk. 

At 8 am I was taken down for an upper Gi to make sure all my internal stitching was ok. It was. Dr Tran was there and he told me what they did and didn’t do. I was disappointed by the fact they were ’hampered by an extreme excess of scar tissue’ I hope they got enough out. But he said I looked good and I could go home on Thursday. Which was good because Dr Halmi had said I was going home on Friday.   

The issue: urine. The problem: I wasn’t making any. The reason: I was dehydrated. They were telling me every 20 minutes to keep drinking…omg, it was so awesome to drink…wow. I was so thirsty. But apparently since I was off the IV fluids and the catheter and was only consuming by mouth and I couldn’t guzzle, my body was stubbornly holding on to every ounce of fluid.   

I felt so lively, I hadn’t had any pain meds since 3 am, I took a lukewarm shower and I was dressed and ready to leave…but my body wouldn’t cooperate. Finally they rush iv’d me a bag of fluid which still took like 2 hours. I produced and then they let me go!!!  

I’d left these half coherent messages for Justin all day, telling him not to come visit since I was leaving. He’d called while I was on my way home (my cell was at home) and then called 2 more times. He voiced that he should have taken me home to give Jamie a break. Seriously I knew she was going nuts. I hate hospitals. Ick.   Anyway he and I had a quick nice chat, I had gotten these stunning flowers from Leece and so I texted her to thank her, I was so surprised to get any flowers at all from anyone!   My parents insisted I spend the night in the recliner. Jamie went home, I was covered in blankies. I’ve been so damn cold since surgery.   

You’ll love this. SES  (my selfish sister) came in around midnight and woke me up. She hadn’t known I’d be home. Then at 5 am she came in to type a letter on the computer…yes, 5 am. On the computer right behind where I was sitting. Now this may not have been a huge issue but the fact of the matter was she ALSO was playing music…kinda loud too. What a real bitch. When I woke up and began stirring she said ‘So….are you ready to tell me what kind of surgery you had?”   I felt like I was in the movie ‘Marathon man’ and she was asking ‘eez eet safe???’   Bitch.  

Damn my head is killing me. I’ve had headaches every day for the last few days, it’s killing me.    So my days have been punctuated by napping off and on, going for walks with Jamie (have to keep the blood moving so I don’t get any blood clots) and that’s pretty much it. I’m really tired. I’ll get a burst of energy shower, get dressed then need a nap. Very annoying.  

Justin came to see me Friday. Everyone was napping, I had just awakened. Yea all that fluid is still working its way out. Let me tell you, I gained 20 pounds in the hospital and I didn’t even eat anything! All fluid. It’s gone now but still I have to pee every 30 minutes and its aggravating.   Justin and I went to my bedroom and he cuddled me, kissed me, we talked. He was here for a long time. I needed a nap when he left and he said he should have made me sleep with him. He is obsessed lately with me sleeping with him. Well not obsessed but he like really wants to be in bed with me, just sleeping together. Is that weird?   He looked at my stitches, I’d removed the bandages Friday morning and he examined them and all the bruising I have all over. It was nice being with him, he makes me feel really good. And like I said earlier, its so plainly evident how he loves me and is IN love with me. It’s comforting and I’m lucky and I know it.   I walked him to the porch, he kissed me tenderly and passionately, told me he loved me and said he’d call me everyday while he was gone (he left yesterday for a week). And especially if I get sick, or end up back in the hospital call him immediately. I told him my calling him wouldn’t change anything but he pulled me close to him and said it changed everything. Ahhhh I love him :-)


Wow even laid up I can write a long ass blog. So that’s what’s been going on. Sleeping, walks, annoying my family because I keep being stubborn.   Trying to consume enough protein and calories to promote healing…which is super hard because I am still on liquids and really don’t feel like drinking or eating.  I was hoping to be in a way better place today but to be honest I’m stupid tired today. Like overly exhausted. I barely feel like I can function. In fact, as soon as I post this, I’m going to go back to sleep.  

Thank you so much for the support, the cards, the messages, the kind words. I really do have the best friends ever.

Tomorrow's the big day...

Aug 19, 2008

Tomorrow is the big day.  I've been a little more nervous.  I don't remember  if I was nervous or not with my original GB.  If I recall correctly I was fine up until I was in my gown and being wheeled into the OR.  Then there was this staggering moment of 'OM MY GOD I'm ACTUALLY DOING THIS'.

This weekend dad and I were having dinner when he asked 'This isn't THAT serious is it? Because I'm not ready to lose my baby'. 

I hadn't been too worried until I'd talked to the other surgeon last week then did some reading and found out that a revision is way more dangerous than regular old gastric bypass. 

I've been doing fine with the liquid diet and I did in fact cheat last night.  My boyfriend and I went out to a romantic dinner last night.  I ate in major moderation, I didn't overdo it but still feel guily about eating.  My tummy has been achy today so I guess I'm paying for it :).

After dinner we went back to his house to hang out and he said he loved me and was worried about me and hated it.  He won't be there during surgery tomorrow but asked when was the quickest I could have visitors, I told him as soon as I was in a room.  Hopefully I'll actually recognize and remember him in my post-anesthesia morphine induced bliss.  He's really spectacular and supportive and awesome and I think I'm just extra in love today.  It's helping take my mind off my fears for tomorrow.

It's gonna be just fine.  I know it.  I'm excited to get through the surgery and get on the road to my 'new' life.  I'm all set.  Got my liquid diet for the first week, sugar free jello, broth and cream soups.  I've got my protein drinks, my vitamins (although I've been religious about my vitamins since January when I go sooooo weak).  I do need to pack my overnight bag and grab some reading material and then all I have to do is wait for 8 am tomorrow.

Wish me luck :)

About Me
Arlington, VA
Location
50.9
BMI
Surgery
08/20/2008
Surgery Date
Surgeon
Jul 28, 2008
Member Since

Friends 8

Latest Blog 17
Safely in the 290's
2nd Post Op Appointment, Nausea and Gyms
Failure
Stuck, Support Groups and Spreadsheets
Stuck Weight, Worries about Food and Clothing
Slightly Freaking Out
My First Goal
First Follow Up and Progress
Surgery and Recovering...
Tomorrow's the big day...

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