So much hope gone out the window

Sep 12, 2016

So much hope i was working and had structure and was visiting and had structure and was eating with a timer and was doing really well. 

and then the weekend hit. and pow. all out the window. so upset. i mean how am i going to do this if i lack the diciplin to do it for two weeks in a row. i was so busy purging my room of all my stuff (4 green garbage bags and 17 regular garbage bags full of stuff gone) i was hot and tired and when my roommate asked i fi wanted anything not only did i ask for a cheesburger i inhaled the f++in thing. twice. saturday and sunday. here i am trying to make good chocies and i failed. i am so defeated right now. i know i should just get back on that horse and go but today was no better. i gotta get a grip. i need as much support as possible. i am so frustrated i with my own damn self. get a grip me. 

sorry this has been a bit of a pity party and i am just ranting a fair amount has anyone else slipped in there pre surgury prep 

oh and i know it is months off if i can even get approved for my surgon appointment from my nutritionist at the end of the month. on top of all of this i am trying to sleep with my cpap in. i make it to 3 am with a disrupted sleep and then i start coughing and have to take it off. anyone know if i can put regular water in it or if it has to be distilled?

have  great day everyone

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