ready2Bhealthy2
I didn't put much thought into "my story" until after my visit to the head doctor (psych...hehehe). While there she made me look deep into my weight issues and see where they stemmed from...so here goes!
I am a 31 yr old single mother. I work 2 full time jobs, go to school full time, and am determined to make my son's life the best it can be regardless of the decisions I have made. My obesity began around puberty when I started developing and apparently becoming attractive. I swear I woke up one day and had a figure. Long story short abuse took place within my own family and I'm not one for talking about things, so I dealt with it alone. I figured if I wasn't attractive it would stop. So, I began to eat. Food is delicious by the way, so this wasn't very hard. I found comfort in being overweight. I didn't have the attention that others seem to desire so much. I still remained popular and active within high school. I was captain of the cheerleading squad...yep those pics are funny! I wore a size 20 throughout most of high school, but always looked a lot smaller due to my 400lb best friend.
A few notes about my wonderful family:
My mother took a picture of my sister and brother in a pair of my jeans from highschool. To this day they (minus my brother who was 8 at the time) still think it’s funny!
My mother hung a picture of Yokozuna (a sumo wrestler) on the fridge. Told me everytime I opened it to remember I was going to look like him.
My mother, step father, and sister have referred to me as a fat ass countless times thoughout my teenage years…now they are afraid of the wrath of Tamika….lol
My family knows nothing about this surgery as it would be nothing more than another topic of conversation when they are bad mouthing me.
I know there are people out there who have had it worse than me, but parents have no idea how badly they scar their children with their actions and words!
After graduation I decided to join the military, but of course I couldn't make weight. So began my life of crazy dieting. I decided to drink V8 and eat saltine crackers. I did this for about a month and lost enough weight to make tape requirements. Off to boot camp I went. While there I was always the "thick" girl and so they worked the heck out of me. It was AMAZING. For the first time in my life I was thin!! I had to work out 2 times a day for about 1 - 2 hours to maintain it, but I rocked a size 8. It didn't take long for normal life and normal food to creep back into my diet as I was only National Guard and living back home (where life was sooooo wonderful). Within no time at all I was plump and unattractive again. Fast forward about a year, I can't tolerate being home anymore and I decide to go active duty Navy. I ship off to boot camp again and begin a healthier lifestyle again. This time I have to maintain my weight or I can lose rank. So, I work out twice a day and became hooked on Xenadrine. At that time Xendarine was loaded with phen phen. I was totally addicted to the high level of energy these pills gave me, but my heart was very unhappy with me. I worked in the hospital and took care of fellow sailors who were having heart attacks from these pills, but I couldn't let go of them. That is until they were banned from the market. I felt like I lost my best friend. I was completely devastated. Once again the weight crept back on. My relationship with my sister ended not long after all of this and has never been resurrected. She used to be my soul mate sister. I still miss her, but can't forgive her. Moving along...I began taking prescription diet pills, which are now sold over the counter in a less harsh form. Xenical was a NIGHTMARE! The side effects were horrific. A few months of that and the side effects and I was done. I'd rather be fat any day than be leaking grease! YUCK!! I never regained my thin girl look and instead became a master of being a cute fatty! After the birth of my son my life changed even more drastically as I began living for him and not at all for me. It wasn't until the past year, when I became friends with some health conscious people did I even start paying attention to my size. And it wasn't until a dear friend made a horrific comment did I decide to take WLS seriously. So, here I am on my journey to a new life. I am excited, scared, eager, and anxious. I want to be the real me who has been hanging out inside this fat girl for about 20 years now. I want to be a healthier me, live for me and my son, and enjoy the life we have together. I want to do all of this most importantly to shed away the years of pain that I have carried around with me in the form of fat serving as my body amour. I want to be the strong woman I know I am and make this change for a healthier life! I will see you on the loser’s bench with a smile from ear to ear!!
