VERY Emotional . . what am I doing? ?

May 06, 2014

24 hours from right now I will be in surgery!  Last night, I put some things in a bag and did some laundry. .. just started preparing myself.  Now, I'm at work today and reading different posts, as I generally have been doing for the past several months.  And it just hit me. . . I'm having surgery tomorrow. . .life altering surgery.  Am i ready?  What affect will this have on my social life?  on my married life?  Can I handle this. . I'm really emotional right now and I don't have anybody to talk to about it because of the choice I made NOT to tell anyone about this decision.  My husband really explained all his feelings last night. . .not harshly or rude in any way. . .but just stressing that he doesn't think I need it.  We had been out over the weekend and there was a super morbidly obese lady there.  She was clearly at least double my size.  So, he says. . 'I could understand if you were that size, then maybe I could accept this surgery".   He thinks my reasons are all vain and that I don't need surgery to do what I should be able to do on my own.  This is spoken from a man who's NEVER been overweight.  As he's now approaching 50, he could stand to lose about 20 or 30 lbs but for the most part he's ok with his size (me too!).  So. . .I'm on my own.  No turning back now. . .its tomorrow.  I'm excited and ready but I'm hesitant because I want to be a success.  I want to live a smaller, healthier life.  Am I REALLY ready to make these lifestyle changes that success warrants???

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