Reba
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My Baby Shilah Shay

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7/15/06
My name is Reba and I am 47 years old. I am 5'3 and weigh about 340 pounds. I have been doing alot of research on OH for about 3 years now and have been wanting to have this surgery for a long time. My Insurance does not cover WLS so I am totally out of luck getting any help from them. My health has gotten so bad this last year that it has become so hard for me to even walk and when I do walk I am in so much pain with my knees that I start limping or kind-of dragging my left leg. I have to use a wheelchair when I go grocery shopping and God I am so embrassed I just know everyone is looking at me, and thinking if she wasn't so fat she could be walking. I only started using a wheelchair about 5 months ago, because I had no choice. You see I take care of my Mom (she is 84 years old) and I have to do all the stuff outside the home because it is hard for her to leave the house. So this is the beginning of my weight loss journey.....

ABOUT ME>>>>>Like I said I am 47 years old, will be 48 in September 2006. I was married for 12 years and now Divorced, we had no children. Our marriage broke up because I had become a Christain and he forbid me to go to church. I was raised in a Christain home all my life, and knew that I should of never married a non-believer. But we do things when we stray away from what God wants us to do. He was a wonderful man, but I could not give up my love for God for no man. Do I still love him? YES I will always love him, thats the hardest part. I think that was when I started gaining alot of weight ( about 150 pounds). OK on to better thing!!!!!!>>>>> I am the youngest (and BIGGEST) of 10 kids 6 girls and 4 boys all living....I have 32 nieces and nephews and 30 great and 10 great great. I have 3 Godsons, so as you can see God has blessed me with a wonderful family. My father was a Pentecostal minister and died of a heart attack at the age of 62. My Mother is the light of my life and she is 84 years old. I live with her (or she lives with me) we just bought a new home together last year, so I guess you could say we live with each other. So as you can see I was raised in a Christain home. I was Praise and Worship leader for Liberty Church Of God for 13 years and loved it. (Thats what my X-husband did not like!!) I play the piano and sing. Singing is my passion!!
I have two CD"S "GIFT OF GRACE" and "KEEP ME IN YOUR WILL"... I would love to some day put one of my songs on my profile. I don't get to go to church much anymore because I can no longer leave my Mom but for a short time. I miss that but I know that I am where God wants me to be. I have been overweight since I was about 10 years old. I have always had problems trying to lose weight, I have tried everything from phen phen to fad diets. They work for awhile but I always gain it back. I lost about 75 pounds last year but gains 20 back. I was doing so good but then the holidays came and I ate and never stopped... I try to watch what I eat but still eat the wrong things....
I have been a member of OH for years but never could have the surgery because my Insurance would not pay for it... so God has provided a way for me to pay for it myself. So right now I am trying to get everything in order, and hopefully I will have this surgery in September 2006.

9-3-06 These pictures are absolutely beautiful I just has to add them on here. The two boys are my Godsons Ryan and Little Man (Ricky) aren't they precious? The Chasity picture, I put this on here for my Beautiful Niece Chasity, I just love that name and found this and had to add this for her...(THIS ONES FOR YOU CHASITY) And the others Me and Shilah (Of Course) lol... and some pictures I just love.....Enjoy....

7-18-06 I went to my oncologist yesterday and did my 6 month follow-up. (I am a Cancer Survivor) I had Cervical Cancer and had to have a Hysterectomy March 2002. Went and had a Mammagram and did blood work. I have an appointment with my PCP on Monday to get all my Medical records together so that I can have everything in order before I go to a WLS Seminar. Like I said I have done alot of research on here and want to have my surgery done at the Foundation Bariatric Hospital in Edmond Oklahoma by Dr. Walton. I have talked to a wonderful Lady Jane Wenk on here and she had WLS in April and she highly recommends Dr. Walton and so far she has been my inspiration. GOD BLESS YOU JANE!! I will have to self-pay so I am still undecided about the Lap RNY or the Lap Band. Maybe after the Seminar I will have more information to go on. My goal as of right now is to have everything in order and to have the surgery in September....
I am a little scared but what I read on here this is normal. At the same time it's all I think about and I am excited. I see a future where as before I did not. I want to live again and do things that I never can do now. I love to go shopping (without a wheelchair). Walk without pain, when my family comes down they go shopping and to the amusement park, bowling, movies, white water. But I can't never go cause it's too much walking. One time my nephew asks my Sister how come Aunt Reba never goes with us anymore like she use to ( I use to be the one that took them everywhere, rode every ride they did). Well hopefully I will be posting more updates soon... Nite

UPDATE 8-7-06
Well I got all my Medical records in yesterday, my cholesterol is up and so is my thyroids. So they put me on Meds. Now I can go to the next Seminar with everything in order. I am so excited about the surgery, wish I could like have it right now. Hopefully in September I will have everything together. At Christmas I was at 322 and now I am up to 347. I guess in my mind I know that I am not gonna be able to eat like this when I have surgery so I just eat anything I want. I know thats not good cause that is just more that I will have to lose. But what I read it is normal...haha...i am worried about what kind of test they will be taking before surgery more than I am the actual surgery. Is that weird or what? Just the thought of them putting a tube down my nose or mouth is reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyy scary.....

My Hopes and Dreams

...to be healthy.
...to not be classified as morbidly obese.
...to feel attractive.
...to feel worthy of a compliment.
...to wear clothes in a size that does not have an X in it.
...to have a health, nice looking body to go along with the pretty face.
...to exercise & enjoy it & not feel like I'm going to die.
...to not hear comments from others about how big I am..
...to have the respect from others and not the wonder about how I could let myself get so big.
...to not have to worry about whether or not I'll fit in a booth.
...to never break a chair because I was too heavy.
...to not have my thighs rub together when I walk.
...to feel sexy (& even look sexy too!).
...to be able to look at my entire body in the mirror, not just my face.
...to no longer be in denial about my obesity or eating habits.
...to be able to play, run, and jump with my Godsons, Nephews and Nieces
...to get into a go-kart or any other ride/game/activity.
...to be able to cross my legs.
...to not have rolls of fat on my body and my fat belly hanging down so much and to have my belly sit on my legs when I sit.
...to not have to buy only wide width shoes.
...to have a picture taken without having to hide behind others.
...to be able to buy clothes that I want & develop my own style, not just buy what will fit & cover, especially to be long enough to come down past that big belly.
...to be able to shop in any store I want & actually stop and look at clothes instead of ignoring that section because nothing would even come close to fitting me.
...to go to places that I've had to avoid because of my weight.
...to have abundant energy to do anything I want.
...to feel like everyone isn't just disgusted with me and that I do not represent who I really am.
...to feeling pretty enough to have glamorous shots done--again.
...to be more self-confident and proud of myself.
...to no longer consider myself to be the biggest woman.
...to be able to ride a bike again.
...to be able to roll over in bed easily.
...to climb stairs without being so short of breath after just one flight.
...to not have to be embarrassed around others who notice I am very out of breath from just walking
...to be able to wear pretty bras & not spend a fortune for just one!
...to easily put on a bra & not have it take forever!
...to actually be able to get dressed in whatever outfit I pick out, not having to spend so much time finding an outfit from the clothes I have. I want to put anything on and look great!
...to not being hot when other women around me complain about being cold.
...to be able to get out of bed in the morning and not feel like I've been run over by a truck.
...to be able to take a shower without being so tired and having to sit down afterward before I can get dressed.
...to be able to take a nice hot bath setting in a tub.
...to be able to buy groceries without a wheelchair.
...to be able to set a computer without my feet and legs swelling.
...to be able to do yard work without my back killing me.
...to be able to do dishes without leaning on the counter.
...to be able to take my Yorkie Shilah Shay for long walks.
...to be able to run in the rain and play in the snow and build a snowman with my Godsons, Nieces and Nephews.
...to not have to have help with my personal hygiene ever again.
...to walk with pride and feel like a 'normal' person.

You know alot of times you never realize and your family and friends never realize how much in life you miss because of your weight. I know alot of people has told me you carry it so well. But deep inside the pain stays with you always. The pain of not being able to do normal things. I remember my friends at our church use to go out to eat after church at this certain place every Sunday Night. They couldn't understand why I never would go, but I'd say oh I got to go home. But what they didn't know is that one night I went to that resturant alone and to see how the seating was and sure enough it was all booths. There is no way that I could fit in those booths. Thats why I never went but they never knew that. They just thought I just didn't want to go. I always joked about my weight and still do. It's like I always want to get the last laugh. But deep down it hurts... But you know someday SOON I will fit in those booths again........

UpDate:
8-17-06 Wow got me a new exciting profile. A wonderful friend of mine whom I met on here Reba Carter ( Great name Huh? I thought so too) she helped me out and since then I have been adding my little things here and there. And it's looking pretty good, or so I think so....This is so much fun!!! As you can see I am excited cause I've never done anything like this before... Reba really helped alot and I appreciate her help so much. So if you guys need help with your profile, look her up I'm sure she'd love to help you... As for me I am still waiting until September, it is so HOT here in OKC that there is no way that I would have the surgery this month if I could....lol...Well have a great day and I will update more later........

9-20-06 Well as you know by my profile I was really expecting to have had the surgery by now. However I am very disappointed but God knows, and right now I am trying to have patience. But you guys just keep me in your prayers and I know that everything will fall in place in God's time. So right now I am maybe eating way to much and not staying on my diet like I should (how many been there done that???) well thats me. I am like well I know that I cannot eat this after so I better eat all I can now...lol... I just know that when I go to the WL surgeon he is gonna say LOSE!!!!!! I read on the OH Forums that one girl had to lose 100 pounds before she had surgery. NOW COME ON!!!! If I could do that I wouldn't be having this surgery!! So as of now I am playing and playing and playing the waiting game......I do have a new space on MYSPACE it is www.myspace.com/rebann39 you guys can take a look....My Niece and Nephews got one and I just thought it might be fun...a great way to keep in touch with family.... Anyway I have been really changing my profile alot adding new stuff, I hope you guys like it.... well until next time.....you guys pray I'll have my surgery soon........nite...

10-9-06 Well I just found out that I will know when to start planning my surgery date by November 17th. That is great news to me because I was getting very discouraged. But you know I truly believe that God is in control and hopefully by Christmas I will have my surgery. What a GREAT Christmas Gift to myself. I have been working on a pillowcase to take to the hospital for about two weeks and I think it turned out great.... Let me know what you guys think about it..... I am also going to be putting these on Ebay this week. But it will take at least 2 weeks to special make each one. It is just a little something special for WLS patients. Here is the pictures below.......
"IF GOD BRINGS YOU TO IT,
HE'LL BRING YOU THRU IT"
REBA'S JOURNEY

10-18-06 Today was a very bad day for Mom and I. My friend Meg's Son Paul was in a car accident and he died. I went to the funeral today. Pray for Mom she has been so sick since the news of Paul she loved him so much. Paul was 29 years old and a wonderful boy, he will be so missed. Pray for Meg and her youngest son Jeremy too, also she has been thru so much heartache these past fews years that God will give her peace. Also Pauls Dad Donald, he was so broken over Pauls's death. I didn't say anything to him at the funeral, because to much water under the bridge (if you know what I mean) I didn't want to intrude on his grief. But he really needs prayer, It really broke my heart. Right now I just pray for Him and also Meg that God will give them Peace. Just such a bad day, would not like to see another one like this one.... Anyway I did get to see alot of old friends that I had not seen in a longggggggggggggg time. So sad that a funeral is one of the main things that can bring friends and family together. I was so embarrassed cause I had gained wieght. My hair was short and i thought that I looked like crap.... But soon at least the weight will be coming but the crappy look will still be there. lol...lol..

10-19-06 Really had a bad week, but today is looking up. I am so excited right now. I talk to Liz at the Foundation Bariatrics Hospital today and set up an Appointment for the seminar on October 24th 2006. Liz is a Member Management Specialist and was super nice on the phone. If everyone at this Hospital is as nice as her than I know that I will be very satisfied with my choice. My Angel, Jane had nothing but good to say about this Hospital and Doctor (Dr. Gregory Walton) so I believe that everything is gonna go great. DID I SAY THAT I WAS EXCITED!!! I mean it's like WOW this is really going to happen. My dream is finally coming true....I am finally gonna live life to the fullest. I had to call my Sister Wanda (she is my rock) I believe she was excited as me. She had the surgery in 1993 and lost all her weight and still looks great. My Brother Gene also excited for me. And my Brother Jerry, he was excited, he lives in Texas is also gonna have the surgery, he is gonna have the Lap Band done because he really does not have that much to lose. Anyway God is so good and has truly Blessed me today!!! Remember
"IF GOD BRINGS YOU TO IT, HE'LL BRING YOU THRU IT!!"
I'm getting there!!