redhotengine1

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I am officially 2 months out today.  I had hoped to lose a little more weight before today but I have been in a stall for about 5 days now.  I have lost 36 lbs and numerous inches.  My pants are all falling off which is a great feeling!

My daughter and I went shopping today.  I picked out a few tops from the clearance section.  One of them has a belt.  I haven't worn a belt in years.  In fact, can't even remember when at this point!  Normally I would just take the belt off but I decided to try it today.  I actually like the way it looks!  Amazing!  I even had my daughter take new pictures of me.  And I like the new picture!  Haven't had that feeling in awhile either!  I am also beginning to see a big difference from what I looked like before.  What do you think?

It's now 6 weeks since surgery.  My BMI has gone down 5 points, my weight down 32 lbs, I've lost inches everywhere in my body!  I'm starting to see "me" when I look in the mirror instead of the fat suit I felt I had on for years.  All my clothese were so baggy they were just about falling off so I decided it was time to go "closet shopping".  I was wearing 24 or 26 in pants depending on the make.  I am now in a baggy 22, not quite ready for the 20 in the closet.  I've found shirts I've never worn with the price tags still on them and NOW they FIT!!  It's such a great feeling!  I've even been fitting into the Misses XL shirts!  Makes me happy to know it's not from the plus size department!  I'm not sure how small my closet goes down to....think it might be 18 for pants.  Guess that will be time to shop the thrift stores!! 

I had no idea I would see and feel the changes so quickly.  It's a beautiful feeling :)  And I am so grateful to be on this journey.

So I guess I really do need to update this every now and then! lol  I had surgery 10/26/10.  Everything went great, no complications and was home 10/28.  I had clear liquids for a week, then full for a week and then pureed.  This week is on to soft foods.  Should be interesting.  I've been walking and drinking, learning to take vitamins and journal my intake.  It's still hard to get 64 oz of fluid in with food but I'm there most days.  Protein has been around 60g per day.

I've had 2 instances of food getting stuck.  The first time, I ate too fast and felt a weight in my chest that was incredibly uncomfortable.  It had to come up and I was immediately relieved.  Last night, the hubby had an awards dinner for his lodge so I had to take my own food.  They were serving Southern style country fried steak, rice and baked apples...I'm not sure I would have eaten it before surgery either! lol  I took some leftover fish in a light sauce along with a bit of mashed potatoes.  Well, the fish was not wet enough and wouldn't go down.  Luckily I had the potatoes because that was all I ate.

So, now for the good stuff!  At 3 weeks out, I have lost 22 lbs!  Can't believe how fast it falls off!

Well, I am 12 days away from surgery!  Excited and nervous...  I'm worried that I won't lose enough on this pre-op diet.  I know it's all in my head since they didn't give me a specific amount, just said to diet for 2 weeks before.  I'm ready to get the surgery part of this journey over with!!

And of course, today our cat had to go the vet again!!  He's had 3 surgeries in the last 5 years and neither my husband nor I want to put him through another one.  Poor boy!  Kind of annoyed me when I got the bill.  We don't even know what's wrong with him yet and it has costed $419!  $150 just for an xray!!  The cat only weighs 23 lbs (yes, I know, big for a cat).  It's not like they had to strap him down or anything...he just lays there like a lump! lol  I'm always amazed at what they charge for animal care.

But at least it got my mind off the surgery for a few minutes, right?!  Always look on the bright side...

So, I'm sitting here thinking about my friends and their very different reactions to my surgery.  I have 2 really close friends that are very supportive and my family are all in my corner as well.  But I have that 1 friend, you know her, the one that always tries to compete with you or do everything that you do-the one that always has to one-up you! lol 

I told this friend probably a month and a half ago about my plans.  She immediately tells me that her husband had asked her if she wanted to have it too.  Then she asked me to send all the information for my doctor's office including the free weight loss seminar to see if she was interested.  In the same conversation I tell her about getting Invisalign to straighten my teeth and of course, she looked into that too but for whatever reason decided against it.  This friend and I have always met for lunch, contemplating the perfect food for the day, so food has been a big part of our relationship.  We are about the same size so we wear close to the same sizes and shop together a lot.  She is also old enough to be my mother so of course, she thinks she is "wiser" than I am.

I went to lunch with her a couple of weeks ago and asked her if she was going to the seminar.  The answer was no, that she had visited a metabolic weight center (on the recommendation of her physical therapist who had lost 25 lbs in a month) and was going to try their "diet" and supplements.  I told her how my way of eating would change after surgery in great detail.  I could see it register on her face that she wouldn't be able to have sugar and knew she would never try this method.  And that she was shocked that I would.

So fast forward to today.  Again we met for lunch.  She says she is excited for me and will visit me in the hospital (which I'm sure she will) but I sense this will change as I lose weight.  She is not doing the "diet" previously talked about because her doctor vetoed it.  Not too surprised about that since it sounded like a quack diet.  She says she has lost 13 lbs this past month and yet immediately goes to look at desserts after our meal.

You ask what my point to this is?  I am just amazed when people who have tried every diet under the sun (and failed miserably each time) will continue to lie to themselves.  I see her doing it as she talks to me, as she tells me she doesn't eat "that much" and that she exercises several times a week yet there is no progress.  I see myself as I am talking to her.  All the failed diets, all the feelings of failure and the lies I told myself about my size.  You know them.  You may have said them to yourself at one time or another.  "I'm not as big as 'so and so'."  "This little piece of cake won't hurt me".  "I don't weigh that much". 

I still ask how I let myself get this big.  It took a lot to get to this moment in my life.  I'm glad that I have the strength to truly make a change in my life and not keep sitting on the sidelines listening to my own pathetic lies.

I decided to start a blog today.  My husband suggested it because he says I am a talented writer.  (Not sure about that one but I'll take the compliment anyway!)

The blog is to document my journey with WLS and beyond.  If anyone wants to take a peek,  it's at losingmyinhibitions.wordpress.com

Enjoy!