Rant of the day

Oct 12, 2010

So, I'm sitting here thinking about my friends and their very different reactions to my surgery.  I have 2 really close friends that are very supportive and my family are all in my corner as well.  But I have that 1 friend, you know her, the one that always tries to compete with you or do everything that you do-the one that always has to one-up you! lol 

I told this friend probably a month and a half ago about my plans.  She immediately tells me that her husband had asked her if she wanted to have it too.  Then she asked me to send all the information for my doctor's office including the free weight loss seminar to see if she was interested.  In the same conversation I tell her about getting Invisalign to straighten my teeth and of course, she looked into that too but for whatever reason decided against it.  This friend and I have always met for lunch, contemplating the perfect food for the day, so food has been a big part of our relationship.  We are about the same size so we wear close to the same sizes and shop together a lot.  She is also old enough to be my mother so of course, she thinks she is "wiser" than I am.

I went to lunch with her a couple of weeks ago and asked her if she was going to the seminar.  The answer was no, that she had visited a metabolic weight center (on the recommendation of her physical therapist who had lost 25 lbs in a month) and was going to try their "diet" and supplements.  I told her how my way of eating would change after surgery in great detail.  I could see it register on her face that she wouldn't be able to have sugar and knew she would never try this method.  And that she was shocked that I would.

So fast forward to today.  Again we met for lunch.  She says she is excited for me and will visit me in the hospital (which I'm sure she will) but I sense this will change as I lose weight.  She is not doing the "diet" previously talked about because her doctor vetoed it.  Not too surprised about that since it sounded like a quack diet.  She says she has lost 13 lbs this past month and yet immediately goes to look at desserts after our meal.

You ask what my point to this is?  I am just amazed when people who have tried every diet under the sun (and failed miserably each time) will continue to lie to themselves.  I see her doing it as she talks to me, as she tells me she doesn't eat "that much" and that she exercises several times a week yet there is no progress.  I see myself as I am talking to her.  All the failed diets, all the feelings of failure and the lies I told myself about my size.  You know them.  You may have said them to yourself at one time or another.  "I'm not as big as 'so and so'."  "This little piece of cake won't hurt me".  "I don't weigh that much". 

I still ask how I let myself get this big.  It took a lot to get to this moment in my life.  I'm glad that I have the strength to truly make a change in my life and not keep sitting on the sidelines listening to my own pathetic lies.

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