Redlocks
Entry 1-23-08:
I'm probably not unlike most folks that have struggled with their weight.... it's been a life-long struggle that dates back to 5th grade (around age 11). I turned 45 several months ago and began seriously looking in to WLS at that time. Enough is enough !! I'm sick and tired of struggling with the weight, unsuccessful weight loss attempts, and all that goes with it. I will soon have RNY surgery and while it scares me, I can not wait! I'm on the verge of taking control and regaining the life that I let escape me years ago.
Yes food tastes great.... But it seems as though I have spent the majority of my adult life living to eat instead of eating to live. My weight yo-yo'd up and down 'a little' for years (between age 11 and 28), but it began to spiral out of control in August 1991 when life dealt me a blow....
I was already about 60 lbs overweight when I fell & endured a tri-malleour left ankle fracture - the ankle dislocated and broke in 3 places (in August 1991). Reconstructive surgery was required. To make a long story short, 4 surgeries over 3 years. What an extremely depressing and painful time for me. Instead of adjusting (reducing food intake) due to no physical activity..... I found comfort in food and managed to put on another 60-70 lbs. I had been a jogger prior to the injury.... When I reflect back, I believe I simply gave up on life as I knew it, I figured the 'best part' of my life was over... after all, I could no longer wear heels and jogging as well as a lot of other activities (snow-skiing, tennis, bike riding, etc. ) didn't seem possible again.
That was then and life goes on and I figure the best is yet to come!! I count my blessings that I did recover, overcame the feelings of loss, and can walk well now, especially despite all the extra weight I've been carrying. When I discovered the eliptical machine at the gym - I found something I enjoyed that could replace the feeling that jogging use to give me. Most folks have no idea that I have a fused ankle because I walk close to normal now. The swelling and scars on both sides of my ankle give it away though, lol. Since then, I have yo-yo'd a little, ranging from 220 to 264 pounds. I've got a medium size frame at 5'1.
Several years ago, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes... I believe this disease set in because of the weight gain and lack of physical activity.
About 5 years ago I was extremely insulted when during a routine gyn exam my physician strongly 'suggested' that I have weight loss surgery. I never returned to that doc and decided that once again I better do something.... but once again I failed, and several times since, again. I know now that he was trying to help, but I had a closed-mind to WLS back then.
It has been a long journey for me to get to this point, but I now anxiously await surgery which is just a little over 2 weeks away. I've been happier than I can remember during the past several months as I have been going through the process to fulfill the requirements for insurance approval. I believe my surgery date will be like a new 'birth' day for me... I understand that RNY is a tool and it's going to take a lot of work on my part to achieve my goals, but for the first time, I actually 'believe' that I WILL be able to reach my goal. I can't wait !!
