Finally Feburary!

Feb 01, 2010

Finally  it's Fuburary!  I missed last month! Wheeew.. Lots has happened! Tommy had his surgery and all is well there...finally. we had a few extra days in ICU due to his breathing not doing so well. I met the pulmonary Dr from hell aka known as Dr. Searcy! He is a freaking jerk and everyone there in ICU knows but is afraid to say much! He is suppose to be the best but he has a bedside manner that SUCKS! He has an attitude that is as big as his ego! Anyway, T nor I liked him a bit! Neighter did any of the nurses. Finally he released Tommy and we came home. Tommy decided to get off his meds in the mean time and it has has been hell. Why do men think they cam self medicate themselves? Never will they learn you don't just cold turkey stop some meds!
Anyway, now about me! I am maintaining. Lately I find myself eating more often, probably due to me not drinking all i should and also i can work on making better choices. Meat has just turned me off lately!  i would rather just have some beans or salad. NOT healthy!  Gotta do beter. It is almost time for my labs and to see Dr. Gibbs for my 3 year check up! Overall, I guess I am happy with my weight loss. I just thought I would loose more than I have and it is a little dis-heartening. I know I need to have a better attitude and be grateful for this 2nd chance. I jsut want to strive for more weight loss. I am totally in agreement that you do not have control over how much you loose. i just feel I still have more to loose so let's get started! I am ready for summer so I can work outside and get more exercise.  
I feel myself under more stress than ever. It is not any one thing it is a combination of everything form work to no time to tired all the time to just plain old disgusted with things!  Still trying to find a church home. I think that will help things when I can find me a place to plant myself for a while. I miss that interaction with people and desperately need that positive back in my life. It sucks when things don't go your way!  I just wish for once, things would go my way a few times. I wish I could just take a vacation for about a week all by myself. Use to, I would look foreward for the few times a year me & Tommy would get away, but that just don't happen anymore  so I have to learn to just do it on my own. I woud have a better time alone anyway, at least that way I could go where I wanted to and do what I wanted to and not have to plan my time around his interest. I guess I am just tired and have reached the time in my life that i am thinking about myself for a change. It is hard when you have always put everyone else 1st. I have to do this in order to maintain my sanity. My brother is still not doing well and this last brain surgery has taken its toll on him. I am glad Momma & Daddy are not alive to see him and the physical shape he is in now. It is heartbreaking.
My weight is teetering between 159 and 163. That is a total loss of about 129 pounds. I would like to loose about 20 more pounds! Wishful thinking!  Everyone tells me I am almost to thin! That's funny! Thin at 160 pounds! Well, I never! Maybe at 130 but not 160! 
My Baby Jake is so sweet! I miss the little toot if I don't see him for a day or two. I hope to have him walking in about 3 weeks. His Daddy walked at 9 months so Ihope to have him walking at 9 months also.He just smiles all the time and is getting a little more vocal again. He loves a bath and loves to be read to. he is such a joy in my life. Well, I did not intend to wirte a book here! It has been a while, perhaps I will not wait as long next itme.
Until next time....happy trails!

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