Trying to get it all out and in perspective

Mar 18, 2012

 Phoenix got fully certified as a service dog at the begining of February and I could not have been more proud of him and I and the work we have put in to come this far.  I am currently waiting for his new vest to come in so we can retire the training vest.  I still get asked if he is still training because of his vest so it will be nice for him to have a fully certified vest in the next couple of week.
I still haven't heard a thing from my husband, he is being a coward and not talking to me so we can figure important things out.  My anxiety has relasped and I am having problems leaving my house again.  This is all making life very difficult for me.  I have friends saying well you just have to suck it up and go outside but when the thought of it sends you into an hour long anxiety attack and makes you throw up its just no worth it.  My social worker says it is normal for anyone not suffering with an anxiety disorder to have anxiety post shock of a spouse leaving but add on top of it a severe anxiety disorder and agoraphobia and you have me.  Just to get to the library today took double my usual as needed anti anxiety medication and even sitting here I am ready to flee.
I am starting to stress about my surgeon consult only because I have food allergies that prevent me from using the optifast and I am worried that they are still going to make me use it and I am going to be so sick.  Also with my anxiety disorder I know that my service dog is welcome at the hospital as long as i have someone to take him for his pottys and such but my mom is going to be with me and he is just too strong for her so I am going to be without him and I can not be alone with people I do not know.  I am almost like a child and need constant care just to keep me calm.  

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