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I took some crocheted dolls to the consignemtn shop uptown today. While I was there another women (Janet ) was there that I knew but she didnt recognize me. When I told the lady my name for the records. She asked me If I was Moons wife. That is my husbands nickname from  being a coon hunter for yrs.  I then complemented Janet on her weight loss. She has lost a lot of weight since I seen her last.  Janet just looked at me funny. The sales lady then asked her if she knew who I was she said no. I then told her my maiden name. She was shocked , she didnt recognize me at all she said. Then at about the same time. At the same time another women in the store(Bonnie) that I also knew( it is a small town).  When the owner asked Janet if she knew me she  was looking at me too. She was also shocked, neither women knew me. Both said they wouldnt have recognized me at all. Yeah well over 100 pds and with curly hair I guess I must look different. But I still dont see it. I am hoping that when people recognize me that It will help with this.  Anyway we went to the back of the store and sit and talked for two hours about how we lost the weight. I really enjoyed talking with Janet about the weight loss and how we have both down it. She does about everything I do except she didnt have the bypass. 

 I havent been below 200 since 4th grade. I cant keep off the scale cause I cannot beleive it. I even had my nephew read it three or four time. I have been so stuck for months, gaining and loosing the same five pds. And wham, I got on the scale yesterday and I had lost 7 pds. almost like overnight. I thought them days was gone. I even thought okay it will be back on there in the moning but it wasnt.  I figured a few pds lose would be better than none. I didnt think I would lose a hugh amount anymore. I am so excited!!!  Maybe I will make goal yet!!!  Oh I am 198!!! Yeah me 198!!!!   I cant imagine that.   I dont know  weither   I should cry or jump for joy!!!  I think I will do both!!!  Not, I am jumping for the exercise.  I only have 45 to goal. my doc wants me at 150 for goal. I can do this I can do this I can do this.  I know it will be harder than the first 45 but it is do able isnt it?  

I am doing fine. I have been busy working on the house. And taking Bob to the docs. He had a rectal surgery prsedure done last week. But he is fine. We have a new dog. Yeah I know like we needed another dog. It is a labador retriever. We named him Daniel or Dan.  He seems to be really smart.. Training him has been rather simply. And he  hasnt went in the house not once,  I weighed while we where at the clinic last week. I have lost an additional 3 pds. That makes me feel better as I am losing so slow. It will come off eventually I reckon.   I started a food journal notebook and then I log it into fitday.  It is helping me keep track of my calories. I was afraid I wasnt eating enough but I think I am most day. around 1000 so that is good. occasional days it is more but it is okay to mix it up some.

bob and I are getting along better some days and fight like the devil others.  Sometimes I just wish I could run away.He needs to get over this jealous thing, he is driving me nuts about it, about time I think he is, here comes the fight again. .  I also have developed more independence. If I dont ask him if I can do something and just do it.  I dont get mad cause he said no. He just says no to everything. I am learning to just do it.  Then I am not mad because he says no. He  is learning I am going to do what I want to.  I have to learn how to balance the good and evil of independence.   lol

I just feel awful!!  And I know I should be happy. at least I can buy something besides those big strech pants I went shopping this week in a large town where my aunt lives. She took me shopping for clothes. She said it was time. I wanted to wait awhile but she said we could do it again later.  But instead of making me feel good it just made me feel awful.  Nothing fits right. If I buy 16 that fit. I have a huge tire roll of skin that hangs out. If I buy 18's they are so baggy in the butt and legs that they look like a garabage bag and the skin just spreads something awful that I still look so big in the thighs and legs And whats the deal with all these clothes being so strechy that they just spread. We went to fashion bug. Am I shopping in the wrong store. I know they are for plus size isnt 16 and 18 still plus size.  I need something tight to hold all the skin in.  We went bra shopping and that was awful.  Went to sears to be sized and that was a joke. They lady didnt even measure she just kept bringing me different sized bras to try. And she had no clue what to do about the skin thing. 50 dollars for two bras.  To get all the skin to stay in the bra. I had to get a size D when I am only a b probable. Now my bra has wrinkles in it instead of laying smooth. Now she spent a lot of money and I feel awful that nothing fits right.  I went to walmart today and bought a cupid thingy thinging it might hold some skin in. I havent got up the nerve to go try it on.  How do you find clothes to fit right. I just hate this.  hate it.  I have two pairs of pants on my dresser and I just look awful in both. I feel like a little kid that is never happy.

Well it has been a year to the day. I am official down. 105 lbs. I was hoping to be below 200 at my surgiversary But I will take it. Only four pds away!!! It has been an interesting experience.  I have learned alot and am still learning. I know  when they  tell you that this is a tool. Not a solution that I said yeah I know, but I dont think I really realized that until the last few months. I have to be careful about what I eat. Some things make me nauseas, some make me consipated, and some just go down right fine. Some days some things go down and other days they wont. I also have discovered you can not live on PROTEIN alone. Just dont work, my sugar drops to low. The mind thing is the most difficult for me right now. I know I am in a sixteen but I cannot see it. They call it Body dysmorphia. Well I wish my mind will catch up. I dont ever remember being in a sixteen. never, I was over two hundred by fourth grade so I have discovered a lot. One is that I have bones. Yeah, all that cushion is disappearing them bones tend to stick out. I can feel my leg bone from the check of my butt to my knew, that is strange to me. And I can feel my collar bone. And I have knees and ankles. Two is that people are treating me different.  More people smile and are willing to help. And guys seem to be popping up all over, opening doors, making comments to me and my husband. Yeah and he dont like it. We went through a jeolous thing for awhile but I beleive he is getting over that. Took some couceling on how to deal with him. It helped.  This site has been my godsend though I dont think I could have done as well without it. I just wish I had someone to talk to in person.  Someone that can understand this body dysmorphia and help me with it. And some days I am tired and dont want to play this game anymore, but I wouldnt change it for the world. I feel better, mentally and physical, and I hope and prayer it helps my back last longer. Hugs

I am having a really hard time with the appearance, head think. I mean What do I look like? Am I attractive?  I dont see it in the pics. But I am getting the looks from a lot of guys. Mind you, they are men just in passing, but I do see the look. Or am I just seeing guys look me in the eyes and confusing it with attraction? I am really having a hard time with this and cant seem to make my husband understand. I want to go out and see what people think.  Somebody I can talk to. I dont see a lot of people as I dont work and dont have a lot of friends. This is getting really bad. I want to go to a bar and just check it out. My husband would never allow that and since he is getting so jealous I dont want to give him any reason to be more jealous. If anyone else has went threw the head thing please let me know how you dealt with it. I know when I look at the pics I see a lot of flaws, but I am not good at taking pictures and making them look good. I feel alot prettier than the pictures. Am I getting a big head because of the weight loss. I have never been in this size pants since 3rd or 4th grade So I know I have to look alot better. I know I have talked aobut this before but it is still an issue with me. So many people tell me I am so pretty (family) but I just dont see it.  Are they just being nice or do I look good. As in look good or just better than before. It is like the last pic,. I was trying to smile but it isso fake and  retarded looking. I wish I could go see my cousin in arkansas she could help me with this so much but Bob will never allow that. I keep telling myself to just go. But I am afraid that I wont have no home to come back to. He wont like it at all and would probable kick me out for good. I never knew losing weight would cause such confusion in my mind.

 am really getting so curious as to what Do I look like? I mean I have onlly lost 100 pds and I know I am not a hottie at my age by no means and it seems as if everytime I take a picture I dont look as good as I think I do. Does that make since. I mean I think sometimes I have to be looking good and then when I look at a new pic I dont think I look as good as I feel I should. I dont mean just with the weight loss, my hair is always a mess, and clothes dont look good. Which I know will change when I allow myself to buy some new clothes at goal. But that is okay, I am happy with me. I just am having such a hard time figuring this out. I mean when I look at other Before and after pics I think wow!!! But when I look at me. I dont see the Wow!! I guess if I could get my before and current pic side by side it would help but I am not that good with photo software. Anyway the other thing is that I have noticed men looking at me, I mean you ladies know that look. And even caught my husband checking me out the other day which is something I have never noticed. And I was hit on by a man. (other than my husband) which I politely declined. But it still has me wondering!!! I put a new pic on my profile so everyone can look. I hope this is not too confusing to everyone. Am I the only one going through the mind thing. I dont know what you call it.  I posted this on the main and the February board. It is just so confusing I see so many that look so good and I dont think I look so good. I need to work on my clothes and hair. I have been trying to find a style for my hair but it is still a mess from failing out. I think I need a new hair dresser too.

The 10 Most Common Mistakes Weight Loss Surgery Patients Make National Association for Weight Loss Surgery

While weight loss surgery (WLS) is considered the most successful treatment for morbid obesity, it is just the first step toward a fresh start. Weight regain is a common phenomenon, as is illness when weight loss surgery patients do not follow recommended guidelines. 
Breaking old patterns, establishing an effective post-WLS lifestyle, and addressing the emotional issues that often complicate obesity takes more than commitment; it takes support, information, and resources.  

The National Association for Weight Loss Surgery (NAWLS) helps WLS patients shape new lives. We teach people what they need to know and help them makes the changes they need to make to achieve long-term WLS success -- physically, mentally, and spiritually.

 In a November 2005 poll conducted by NAWLS, the following were identified as the top 10 mistakes WLS patients make:
1^st Mistake:  Not Taking Vitamins, Supplements, or Minerals   

Every WLS patient has specific nutritional needs depending on the type of surgery you have had. Not only is it a good idea to ask your surgeon for guidelines, but also consult with an experienced WLS nutritionist. Understand there is not a standard practice that all surgeons and nutritionists follow in guiding WLS patients. So, it is important to do your own research, get your lab tests done regularly, and learn how to read the results.   

Some conditions and symptoms that can occur when you are deficient in vitamins, supplements, or minerals include:  

Osteoporosis; pernicious anemia; muscle spasms; high blood pressure; burning tongue; fatigue; loss of appetite; weakness; constipation and diarrhea; numbness and tingling in the hands and feet; being tired, lethargic, or dizzy; forgetfulness, and lowered immune functioning.  

Keep in mind, too, that some conditions caused by not taking your vitamins, supplements, or minerals are irreversible.  

2^nd Mistake:  Assuming You Have Been Cured of Your Obesity   

A "pink cloud" or honeymoon experience is common following WLS. When you are feeling better than you have in years, and the weight is coming off easily, it's hard to imagine you will ever struggle again. But unfortunately, it is very common for WLS patients to not lose to their goal weight or to regain some of their weight back.   

A small weight regain may be normal, but huge gains usually can be avoided with support, education, effort, and careful attention to living a healthy WLS lifestyle. For most WLSers, if you don't change what you've always done, you're going to keep getting what you've always gotten -- even after weight loss surgery.  

3^rd Mistake:  Drinking with Meals   

Yes, it's hard for some people to avoid drinking with meals, but the tool of not drinking with meals is a critical key to long-term success. If you drink while you eat, your food washes out of your stomach much more quickly, you can eat more, you get hungry sooner, and you are at more risk for snacking. Being too hungry is much more likely to lead to poor food choices and/or overeating.  

4^th Mistake:  Not Eating Right  

Of course everyone should eat right, but in this society eating right is a challenge. You have to make it as easy on yourself as possible. Eat all your meals--don't skip. Don't keep unhealthy food in sight where it will call to you all the time. Try to feed yourself at regular intervals so that you aren't as tempted to make a poor choice.   

And consider having a couple of absolutes: for example, avoid fried foods completely, avoid sugary foods, always use low-fat options, or only eat in a restaurant once a week. Choose your "absolutes" based on your trigger foods and your self knowledge about what foods and/or situations are problematic for you.  

5^th Mistake:  Not Drinking Enough Water   

Most WLS patients are at risk for dehydration. Drinking a minimum of 64 oz. of water per day will help you avoid this risk. Adequate water intake will also help you flush out your system as you lose weight and avoid kidney stones. Drinking enough water helps with your weight loss, too.  

6^th Mistake:  Grazing  

Many people who have had WLS regret that they ever started grazing, which is nibbling small amounts here and there over the course of the day. It's one thing to eat the three to five small meals you and your doctor agree you need. It's something else altogether when you start to graze, eating any number of unplanned snacks. Grazing can easily make your weight creep up. Eating enough at meal time, and eating planned snacks when necessary, will help you resist grazing.   

Make a plan for what you will do when you crave food, but are not truly hungry. For example, take up a hobby to keep your hands busy or call on someone in your support group for encouragement.  

7^th Mistake:  Not Exercising Regularly   

Exercise is one of the best weapons a WLS patient has to fight weight regain. Not only does exercise boost your spirits, it is a great way to keep your metabolism running strong. When you exercise, you build muscle. The more muscle you have, the more calories your body will burn, even at rest!   

8^th Mistake:  Eating the Wrong Carbs (or Eating Too Much)  

Let's face it, refined carbohydrates are addictive. If you eat refined carbohydrates they will make you crave more refined carbohydrates. There are plenty of complex carbohydrates to choose from, which have beneficial vitamins. For example, if you can handle pastas, try whole grain Kamut pasta--in moderation, of course. (Kamut pasta doesn't have the flavor some people find unpleasant in the whole wheat pastas.) Try using your complex carbohydrates as "condiments," rather than as the center point of your meal. Try sprinkling a tablespoon of brown rice on your stir-fried meat and veggies.   

9^th Mistake:  Going Back to Drinking Soda   

Drinking soda is controversial in WLS circles. Some people claim soda stretches your stomach or pouch. What we know it does is keep you from getting the hydration your body requires after WLS--because when you're drinking soda, you're not drinking water! In addition, diet soda has been connected to weight gain in the general population. The best thing you can do is find other, healthier drinks to fall in love with. They are out there.  

10^th Mistake:  Drinking Alcohol   

If you drank alcohol before surgery, you are likely to want to resume drinking alcohol following surgery. Most surgeons recommend waiting one year after surgery. And it is in your best interest to understand the consequences of drinking alcohol before you do it.  

Alcohol is connected with weight regain, because alcohol has 7 calories per gram, while protein and vegetables have 4 calories per gram. Also, some people develop an addiction to alcohol after WLS, so be very cautious. Depending on your type of WLS, you may get drunker, quicker after surgery, which can cause health problems and put you in dangerous situations.   

If you think you have a drinking problem, get help right away. Putting off stopping drinking doesn't make it any easier, and could make you a lot sicker.

Life has been okay lately. Travis moved back in with his dad so he could go to a school that he could graduate this year. If he stayed at Palestine. he would have to go another year. That has taken some of the pressure off of my marriage. Although Bob does still push his luck sometimes. I am figuring out with my counceling that if I dont react to Bobs pouting moods that we get along better. So I have told him that when I get mad because he is mad that things have gone to far. And that I will not argue with him no more, I will leave and go somewhere. Well I dont know if that has scared him or what. Cause I done it twice, just went uptown and sit in the bar, drinking only water. Well he has curbed his mood control. I told him and me I am tired of being mad and living with someone who is mad all the time. Anyway things seem a little better right now anyway. And I also told him that I was going to start doing things with or without him. I am tired of siitiing in the house for days. He is trying to come around. Now I just wish it would warm up. It is so cold right now I dont want to go no where.  As for my weight loss it has still stalled. I know it is me. I am not exrtcising enough. I hope things will kick in when it warms up. I just want to sit under a blanket all the time. I am so cold. well will write more later.