Robbenmel
September 16, 2006
Hey, I'm Rhonda. I'm 47 years old. I've been married to my best friend for almost 25 years now. I am 5'8" tall and I weigh 291 pounds. I am wearing 28s and 30s. I am seriously considering having WLS, probably the lap-band.
I had my psych consult yesterday, and I had to give a timeline of my weight loss struggles, so I might as well repeat it here. The first time I can remember thinking about "fat" in relation to me, I had to be about 5 or 6. A playmate (a boy, of course!) told me I had "fat arms." I was completely indignant, and I immediately ran in the house to complain to my mother. I don't remember what she said, but obviously the incident stuck in my head. I was maybe 10 when an uncle, trying to be nice, told me in front of the entire family that I was "pleasingly plump." Yes, he did.
I wasn't really heavy in high school, but you could not have convinced me of that if you'd tried. And anyway, nobody did try. There were a million small comments by my parents, all of which were well-intentioned, but all of which served to convince me of how heavy I was.
I wore mostly 14s and 16s through high school, but my best friend wore 5s and 7s. She was my measuring stick, you might say. I fell in the creek behind her house one day, and I had to borrow her mother's clothes until my mom could come and get me. More humiliation, and more evidence of my huge gross fatness.
I didn't really date until college. I was going so much and eating so little that I got down to my lowest adult weight, 158. Had a doomed relationship which sent my academics into the toilet, and left school without graduating. Just before I did, though, I met my sweetie. When we got married in 1981, I weighed about 220 and wore between a size 20 and 22. He weighed probably a bit more and wore a size 38 pants. Things have changed since then!
I've already told you how much I weigh now, and my sizes. While my weight has been anywhere from 160 to my present weight of 291 in the last 25 years, my husband's has steadily increased. He suffers from major pain in his back and feet. He has arthritis in his back and hands. He has migraines and severe sleep apnea. He wears 56 in pants, and 4x in shirts. At six feet tall, he weighs over 400 pounds, and is completely miserable. One of the hopes I have for my own surgery is that it will go so well that he will be inspired to try it as well. He's only 48 years old, and has nearly given up on everything that he once enjoyed, including working in the yard and going shopping. He always planned to buy an old car to fix up, but says now that he's "too old" for that. It breaks my heart.
Okay, this was supposed to be about me. After we got married, I put myself on a very low calorie diet; for about 7 or 8 months, I ate no more than 600-900 calories a day. It worked, and I lost 60 pounds, getting down to 160. And got pregnant. Of course, the diet went immediately out the window.
After our son was born in 1983, I had gained back a good bit of what I had lost. I was determined to get rid of the baby weight. But God had other plans. Six weeks to the day after Robbie was born, I got pregnant with Ben. (Yes, I remember the exact moment.) I had two babies in less than 12 months, we moved twice, Raymond was working 60 & 70 hours a week, we were living 4 hours away from my family and everyone I knew, and I had all I could do to take care of the babies. Robbie NEVER slept, and Ben was born jaundiced, and they both suffered ear infections like crazy. After two years, two more jobs for my hubby and two more moves, our lives consisted of work, taking care of babies, and more work. During this time, I gained back all that I had lost before I got pregnant, plus some.
I thought about trying to lose weight again, but life was so stressful that diet plans rarely got off the ground. I did make one effort that resulted in my losing maybe 15 pounds, but that came back just like before, and just like before, it brought more with it.
Our daughter was born in 1989, and with her came a happy surprise...I actually LOST about 20 lbs while I was pregnant with her. I still have not figured that one out, lol! I had no time to enjoy it, though...our oldest had major surgery to repair a skull fracture when the new baby was just three weeks old. (He was playing karate in a friend's treehouse and got "karate-chopped" right down to the ground.) By then we also knew something was wrong with our second son. Though we didn't get the right diagnosis for years, we now know that Ben is autistic. Needless to say, my worries centered on my children, and my weight problems (and my husband's) were at the bottom of the list.
I didn't forget about it completely, though. I would try the latest diet "thing" about once a year or so. It never lasted long. But in 1993, I went on a physician-supervised Optifast diet. I stuck to it for about three months or so, and lost about 40 pounds, but in the end you have to go back to eating solid food, and that was all she wrote for that plan. Soon after, I tried Weight Watchers. I lasted a while, but never really got anywhere with it.
In 1996, we moved to Florida. I again put myself on a diet, low fat this time. Again, I lost about 40 pounds, and again, the weight came right back, and more. After that, I pretty much gave up for several years. My last attempt was in 2003. This time, Raymond and I both went on the Atkins diet. We did very well, and we both lost weight. Gradually, though, the carbs came back, and with them all those awful pounds.
Just before the Atkins thing, Raymond talked to me about some coworkers of his that had had gastric bypass surgery. What did I think about it, he wanted to know. What did I think? I was horrified. I was thinking of all those horror stories about people dying or never being able to eat again. I was sure that was an option of last resort. And so I greatly discouraged it. I have apologized for that several times in the last few weeks! Maybe he would be leading a much happier, healthier life right now if I hadn't done that. I should have researched it, but instead I gave him my knee-jerk response.
And so here we are. I'm hoping that AvMed will approve me with no problems, and I'll be able to get started for myself and for my family. Robbie, our oldest son, is following in our footsteps. He's 6'3" and 375. He's only 23. He's married to a lovely girl, and she is at least 100 pounds overweight as well. Ben is 6'5" and nearly 300 lbs. My daughter is 17 and wears 20s and 22s. Her doctor just told her to lose 10 pounds and exercise more. I can't help but feel that their sizes are at least partly my fault.
