Robin L.

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My bank denied me & since I was counting on them to come through fo rme ..I had racked up a year of visits trying to get prepared for the surgery & then they denied me..I had another bank check & now that my credit is ruined I can't get a loan anywhere so I am forver trapped in this fat body..I'm way beyond depressed..I try & stick to the diets that my dietician at weight wise had given me..at 1st I got mad & ate whatever the heck I wanted & didnt care..I tried for over a year & faield at losing the weight I needed to ..just to have surgery & then my bank failed on me..I had already paid off one loan but I gues I wasnt a good enough risk for them to give me the loan to save my life...I  havent came here in a long time because it only depresses me further to see everyone else getting to have the surgery...I wish I wasnt so poor..my health is so bad that I am lucky to have the job I have with the very poor insurance they offer..I turn the channel everytime I see commercials for the surgery...It's just not fair...but it''s my OWN fault that I am like this.. So I have no one to blame...and no escape either...

I had to cancel my last appointment because I am totally broke..Between all the medicine I have to buy because of my horrible health & all the diet food from weightwise I was over drawn over $400 & then I got paid & bank took my whole check & I was still overdrawn $96...So I had to cancel all appointments..I do not have any diet food..And to top it off I have not been walking in over a week because my right knee has been hurting...well it's more like the right side of leg kind of where it bends in back of knee..tendon maybe?? Needless to say it hurts..carrying all this fat is not been nice to my knees...It all my fault that my health is so horrible..I am going to try & get back to walking tonight & I am going to start over & just walk a mile & build back up..I am still doing my stretches everyday.

This past Thursday 7/16/07 I went to Weight Wise for my now...Every 2 week visit & I lost 7 pounds..Well it was 7 pounds the day before at Willie Street's office! Weight Wise scales say 6.5  But even still...I am so so happy! Dr. Broussard wants me to lose 11 more pounds... So I'm still sticking to my diet & still walking 2 miles around the football track..Tonight I am going to try & kick it up to 3 miles.. or at least 2.5 Anyway wanted to give a good report for once!
If anyone would like to join me for a walk around the Tonkawa football feild let me know.. I work at Ponca every day except Thursday & Friday & would walk with anyone here in Ponca on those days I get off work at 5pm on Saturday & Sunday & 3:30pm on all my other days. I do alot better when I have someone to talk to while I am walking...Seems alot easier to me anyway...

7/19 I went to the clinic & I gained 3 pounds & they said the only thing stopping me from having my surgery is me not getting this weight off so I am still on the agressive diet plan & I am going to try & increase my walking..
I have been super depressed...I told Kathy that at weight wise & she told me to follow up with my Dr. so I called Dr. Sterrt's office Friday & got machine & I left message saying I thought my zoloft was not helping anymore because I have been really depressed more than usual. I was a bit teary eyed..
His nurse called me back & asked the usual questions & asked if I ever had thoughts of suicide & I said yeah but I would never act on them & the next thing I know the police are at my door.. Saying Willie had called them & said his nurse told him that I had told her that I wanted to "END IT ALL" I ASSURE YOU....I NEVER SAID THAT! Needless to say I was taken to the police station..I went on my own free will with them & I sat in front seat & they were super nice to me..But the nurse & the police officers were just doing thier jobs & I am thankful for them..but all I wanted  was to see if Dr. Street would get me in for a viisit so I could see about getting my meds changed.
Anyways that was what happened during my 2 days off this week..I have been deppresed a very long time...but these last two weeks or more it seems to have gotten worse.....I took my 1st lexapro last night & Kathy told me to only take 100mg of the Zoloft instead of 200 & then cut it down to 50 and then start taking only the lexapro. I am very hesitant about calling Dr. Street's office for fear of them putting me in the hospital.. Anyway I am doing better today...Anyone wana go walking with me at the football field...I need to get this weight off...Jesus please help me..I can't do it on my own..I will leave it at your feet..I pray you will help me..

I have not posted in forever..I have not been too motivated as of late...I am so depressed & I can't sleep & I just can't quit crying.... I am so scared when I go to the clininc... I am afraid I will never lose my weight & I am trying..
I am so stressed..I am so wanting to give up...I mean in a few months it will be a year...I still have not lost the weight...well I have lost some but as usual it comes right back on...I am a failure.............

I am having the worlds worst luck losing weight.. I have not felt good at all & a few days ago I had a bad call at work..I mean someone was making treats & making rude gestures..It has had my completely worn out..I was crying & I went & bought all my favorite junk food & ate it.. I have been walking too but nearly as much..Couldnt go last night because it was raining..
I think it may be best just to give up..I can't do it...

I mutter to myself alot lately..I am sticking to my diet real good..but my blood sugar has been dropping alot..I have been getting real irritable lately as well.. I have not been able to walk due to all the rain..One day it was fairly nice & I went to football field & there was alot of kids..I think summer pride football camp...Anyway I was not going to walk when they were busy with the track..I have not felt good ..I also feel like I may have pulled a muscle in my right leg..right there where it bends at the knee..on the outer part of my leg..I am feeling super lazy..But truthfully..I am super tired alot & I am taking provigil now & it helps but I still can't beat the fatigue all that well..I am doing better with my auto pap since I got the new mask... Oh well..I will get off here now.. Just wanted to blow off steam because I'm tired..I am so wanting to knock off the weight so I can have the surgery....I am about to give up. I feel very stressed & very disapponted in myself..I am a total failure when it comes to losing weight.....

Well I'm back at work ..Had my dr visits at weight wise & at my sleep apnea dr as well..I gained 2 pounds..but it may be water weight & since I had to cancel last appointment & was without the diet food & I have also been off my high blood pressure meds for over a month..BUT I have that now all taken care of so it should not be a problem in the future...Dr. Imes who takes care of my sleep apnea changed my high blood pressure meds to benecar with diuretic & put me on Provigil for excessive sleepiness..I have nodded off while driving but caught myself. But the pescription is $200  so now I am going to call the company to see if they have a program to help people who do not have prescription coverage. I have taken it & it helped me so much! I feel so much better when I take it so I will be paying whatever it takes to have it because when I take it..I feel like a million bucks!


I am disappointed at the 2 pound gain..Seems like I will never lose the weight I need to lose...So depressing....

Below is a praise report on Mackenzie! SHE IS CANCER FREE! PRAISE BE TO GOD...HE IS OUR HEALER!
HE IS HEALING KALEB AS WE SPEAK! PLEASE VISIT MACK'S PAGE! She is an ACE YOUNG FAN JUST LIKE ME!
She got to meet Ace! I'm so jealous! Please lift Mack & Kaleb in your prayers!

Here is Mack's Page
http://www.myspace.com/acesgirlfriend 

Below is an update on Mack

 

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

  Miracles still happen!!!

We knew the healing was done in the spirit... but today, the healing is done in the flesh!!!  Praise the Lord, you have just been a part of a miracle!  Against all odds, statistics and every doctors prediction, the leukemia has PERISHED!!!!!  There was no leukemia found in Mack's marrow today and healthy cells were seen emerging.  Engraftment is occuring and  it is just a matter of time before Mack's counts come up.  God is good!  "The healing is done!"  He has spoken!!!  We are completely floored!!!!!  There are no words to describe the power and might of our great God!  His faithfulness is mind boggling!  We still have a long way to go, but we are greatful that the path is still before us and it hasn't abruptly ended.  Continued prayers for protection from infections and protection of all Mack's organs as they have so much to process.  And prayers for the new cells to continue to engraft and multiply providing new life in these new cells!!!!  Wow, my mind is going in so many directions right now.  How can I not fall to my knees and praise the Lord?  Join me in praising Him!  More tomorrow.  With love and gratitude, Amy
 

 

 

Please visit Kaleb too! PLEASE PLEASE PRAY LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER PRAYED BEFORE FOR THESE 2 CHILDREN & PLEASE PRAY FOR ALL CHILDREN WHO SO NEED OUR PRAYERS..
TOGETHER WE CAN PRAY THESE SWEET BABIES INTO A TOTAL HEALING...MACK IS PROOF OF THAT!

Kaleb's Page

http://www.myspace.com/kristyreynolds

Since OKLAHOMA IS CELEBRATING HER CENTENIAL I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN THIS:



If someone mentions California, what do you think of? Hollywood, L.A., crowded freeways, beaches and Arnold Schwarzenneger? California, of course, is so much more than that. How about Maine? I think of cold weather, people with funny accents and lobsters. What if someone brings up Idaho. Does it bring to mind potatoes?

When people hear the name of our state, it seems the first thing that comes to mind is not Oklahoma, but "Oklahoma!" The 1943 musical, the first for Richard Rogers and Oscar Hammerstein, is the first thing most people in America think of when they hear about the Sooner State.

Having people associate our state with a beloved musical is certainly better than some alternatives, like rednecks and tornadoes, but it certainly isn't representative of today's Oklahoma.

"Oklahoma!" is a delight. The story of cowboys and farmers finding love in Oklahoma territory features classic music and ground-breaking choreography, including the dream ballet illustrating Laurey's difficulty in choosing a suitor between cowboy Curley and farmhand Jud Fry.

It also gave us our state song, which never fails to bring Oklahomans to their feet, which can prove a bit unnerving for performers in touring versions of the show who, during stops in Oklahoma, must deal with a standing ovation before the final curtain comes down.

"Oklahoma!" is a classic of American musical theater and deserves its place in the pantheon of enduring entertainment treasures.

It is not, however, an accurate indication of where our state has been, is today and is going. Oklahoma is not only the home of Ado Annie and Aunt Eller but of the aerosol can. That wonder of the age was invented in Bartlesville. Oklahoma City is the home of the parking meter, while the shopping cart was born in Ardmore.

The electric guitar also was invented in Oklahoma, by a Beggs musician named Bob Dunn. The first "Yield" sign was installed in Tulsa.

The state has more man-made lakes than any other state, which give us more than a million surface-acres of water and 2,000 more miles of shoreline than the Atlantic and Gulf coasts combined.

The Sooner State has produced more astronauts than any other state in the union. Owen Garriott is a hometown Enid boy, of course, while Tom Stafford is from Weatherford, Shannon Lucid from Oklahoma City, William Pogue from Okemah and the late Gordon Cooper from Shawnee.

Oklahoma is home to Amateur Softball Association, Sonic restaurants and more F4 and F5 tornadoes than any other state.

Oklahoma is the third-largest gas-producing state in the nation and ranks fourth in the production of wheat, cattle and calves, fifth in the production of pecans, sixth in peanuts and eighth in peaches.

The state's colors are neither the crimson and cream of the University of Oklahoma nor the orange and black of Oklahoma State but green and white.

Environmental Protection Agency recognizes Oklahoma as having the most diverse terrain of any state in the nation. The state, according to EPA, boasts 11 distinct ecoregions, one of only four states to have more than 10.

Oklahomans practice 73 major religions. The largest is the Southern Baptist Convention, with nearly 1,600 church and more than 960,000 members.

Oklahoma gave birth to Dick Tracy (cartoonist Chester Gould is a native of Pawnee) and Donald Duck (Clarence "Ducky" Nash, the original voice of Walt Disney's Donald, grew up in Watonga).

Oklahomans have survived the Dust Bowl, any number of killer tornadoes, the 1995 bombing of Oklahoma City's Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building and various oil booms and busts. Oklahoma is populated by people who are caring, giving, hard-working, patriotic and fiercely independent. Oklahoma is a good place to live, work and play.

The challenge in this, our centennial year, is to make the rest of America aware of what Oklahoma has to offer, besides beautiful mornings, fringe-laden surreys and a girl who "cain't say no."