robiny
So far today, 12 net calories!
Aug 17, 2009
Today I started working out with my new trainer, Sandra. She gave me an incredible upper body workout. She didn't want to start with my lower body (we know that we cannot do anything with my knees) but she has specific questions about certain machines. I am seeing my rheumatologist on Wednesday and will ask him about them. I see her for my second session on Thursday. After working out with her, I walked in the pool for 15 minutes. The one thing I hadn't taken into consideration prior to working out with a trainer was all the getting on and off the machines. That really put a strain on my knees. I don't think it's a show stopper, but something I am going to have to watch. Sandra was very helpful and didn't laugh when there were a couple of time it took me 2 or 3 tries to figure out how to actually get on the machine without hurting my knees ... it was very comical at times. I have been going to this gym for 6 years so some of the other members have seen me right from the start, 303 pounds. I happen to run into one of them today. I didn't see him, all of a sudden there was a big splash in the lane next to me, and a big cough, I looked over and squinted (not wearing glasses in the pool) and this man goes, "Excuse me ... you are NOT Robin are you?" I replied that I am and he said he about drown when he saw me. I remember him from when I very first started (83 pounds ago), he said if I hadn't laughed he would have never known it was me. So we made a date to meet every Monday for a sit in the jacuzzi to catch up and encourage each other. He is a recovering quadruple by-pass patient and says that my encouragement to him has really helped him. It was so nice to be able to help each other.
So I get home, around 3:30 and have my lunch and record my food and exercise in daily plate. As it turns out, right now I have net calories of 12 ... how is that possible???? It has been suggested that I need to up my caloric intake as in the last 4 weeks I have only lost 4 ounces. I think it might be a good idea. I just need to figure out how to do it, as I am always full and eating everything I really want. Never thought in my entire life I would ever say that .... I really don't "WANT" anything.
More good news, went to the cardiologist today and he decreased my blood pressure medication. My BP was 100/60 then 90/50. He will recheck my in 6 months and probably be able to take me off completely then. If I get dizzy or in anyway feel "strange" I am to call him immediately! He was so happy with my progress. Also, he feels that the weight loss will also help with my AFIB. Even though there isn't necessarily a correlation between AFIB and obesity, he seems to think there might be. So I am happy about that. It's hard for me to know as I have always been overweight and always had AFIB, even as a child.
Looking for a chili recipe. So we went to this little diner near our house and I ordered their homemade chili. I LOVE IT! I have made my husband go back 3 times. So now I am looking for a good crockpot chili recipe I can make at home. Of course before surgery, I wouldn't ever eat chili or anything with beans in it ... now I crave them, chili, re-fried beans, lentils, black beans, pinto beans ... the list goes on! This surgery really does change your cravings!
OTHER GREAT NEWS ... I feel good ... yes good. I hadn't realized I wasn't feeling good. For the last week or so, every day I have started and completed a project. It's been a while since I have been so productive. I am not sure what changed, but I am so happy it did.
Biggest project right now is getting the house ready for the kittens arrival in September. We went to see them on Saturday but missed them by about 1/2 hour. We are hoping to see them tomorrow. If so, we will take more pictures.
Another great thing that has happened is that the game site I beta test for has asked me to apply to be an alpha tester. I do not know how many people they have asked, but filled out my application. I would love to do this. They actually pay you to alpha test, that would also be nice. I miss my programming/testing days ... just another road that has opened for me that I never even thought of ...
So, to sum up ... not as furious at my doctor for not telling me that there was a possibility that I would stop losing weight so soon ... just moving on and doing everything I can to continue positively on this weight loss journey. This journey which takes on so much more than just a scale and a number ... until next time ...
The good, the bad, the confusing ...
Jul 18, 2009
Everyday is an adventure. I feel that I am doing really well adjusting to the different challenges and unknowns in the WLS journey. Of course late last night for my final snack I wasn't able to keep it down. I really think I have the flu. I am running a little temp and have the chills. All in all feel icky. However, I am anxious and can't seem to relax. So here I am on the boards and thought I would blog, keep myself occupied.
As I posted earlier I can't even keep my meds/supplements down. I will be careful, so don't worry.
THE GOOD: On another topic, and one I am so excited about ... FRUITS! Yes, I am able to eat fruit. So far I have had, white peach, banana, blueberry, blackberry and apple. I have a cantaloupe ripening on the counter. I didn't dare buy the raspberries, wow are they expensive. Now that I know I can eat them, I think next week when I feel better it's a trip to the farmer's market.
THE BAD: With the knees, yes they are better. No, they are not where I want them to be. When I saw the doc on Thursday he was very happy with my extended range of motion but is worried about how much relief I will have with the weight loss. He said there is no guarantee. I have been back on the NSAIDS for 2.5 weeks now. By my next appointment with him we should determine if we need to increase the dosage. He feels this NSAID, Salsalate, is the least likely to develop ulcers. I am already feeling less pain. We will just wait and see.
THE CONFUSING: Is it the flu, is it something else ... will my pouch like it this time ... it changes constantly ... well I guess we should chalk the confusing part up to the adventure part ... and enjoy the mystery!
Until next time ...
Progress on my continuing journey
Jun 27, 2009
Lost from highest weight (a little over 2 years ago) : 73.2
Lost from March 5, day I started prep for first surgery : 46.2
Lost from May 7, surgery date : 23.4
My surgeon is "counting" from the March 5th date, so that will be my official loss amount for him. I am averaging about .4 of a pound a day. I think that's great!
Pain - this week has been really strange, I have developed calf pain along with my ongoing knee pain. Right before surgery I had severe calf and leg pain in my left leg. It was so bad one night I couldn't walk at all and Joe took me to the emergency room. They thought I had a blood clot and did an ultrasound on my leg. They didn't find anything and sent me home with muscle relaxer, which didn't help at all. This week I have had the same pain in my right calf. Now I think it has something to do with the way I must be walking (limping) with my knees. I am still waiting to talk with my rheumatologist on the 16th of July, but I couldn't stand the pain, both literally and figuratively. I called and asked for liquid morphine, as I can't take the time release pills anymore due to the surgery. When they called back they suggested a patch. I though sure, sounds good. Not really thinking what kind of patch. Well, DH went to pick it up for me and it turned out to be a fentanyl patch. Last time I tried them they made me really sick, got rid of the pain, but I was vomiting constantly and couldn't use them. Now my doc's on vacation until I see him in July, so DH and I thought I should at least try 1 to see if my new rearranged "inners" could no handle it. What do you know, they are not making me sick! They are helping with 75% of the pain right now, so far with no side effects. So I am planning on using them until I see the doc again.
I plan to be back at the pool next week and see how I do with the pain. Going to get some waterproof surgical tape to cover my fentanyl patch while I am in the pool. I will just put on my lioderm patches after I get out of the pool. I am hoping to be more mobil shortly ... oh please!
Food wise, all is going well. I am trying many new things, some work, some do not. Some of my success have been a lamp chop. 1 shoulder chop lasted me 4 meals! I made a bison meatloaf this week. Both DH and I loved it! I am eating a half of banana a day. I was actually able to take a bite of a plum, skin and all ... only 1 bite, but it was sure yummy! Who knows what I will try next!
Divorce - OK, something is wrong
May 24, 2009
Well, I have been having a really hard time the last few days, and yesterday I don't know what came over me but I lost it more than once. Anything anyone said to me had me crying uncontrollably. I was irrational, depressed and a bit crazy. It came to head when I was in the car with my WONDERFUL husband and he mentioned that he is losing so much weight. I freaked out, couldn't believe he was saying this to me, all I heard was "NA NA NA, I am losing weight, and I don't have to, and YOU are gaining and had surgery HA HA HA". I threw off my seat belt and bolted from the car, walking, I don't know where or how (as my knees are still killing me). I didn't have a purse or anything with me. He got out of the car and easily caught up with me. As he was walking me back he said that if he cannot even say an innocent remark then we don't have much of a marriage. I said OK, let's get a divorce and gave him my wedding rings. Much later, and after several crying phone calls with my sister (who I didn't tell about this) just about my other issues. My husband and I talked. What he was trying to tell me is he isn't feeling so good, is very tired, and is losing weight. He is concerned something is wrong. I told him, well, if he would have phrased it that way I probably wouldn't have exploded as I had, all he told me was that he was losing weight ... both of us realized that I over reacted and he could have been a bit more sensitive in his phrasing.
Today, even though having the same issues as I have had the last few days, both of us are feeling better, emotionally. I think both of us need to call our respective doctors to see whats physically going on with us. We now both realize I am still an emotional mess from the surgery, but a lot less cranky today, as he told me when I was asleep he adjusted "my crank" ... I LOVE HIM!
Day 2 Pureed - The Saga Continues
May 22, 2009
Also a bit stressed as my brother-in-law is back in the hospital. They didn't set his new pacemaker properly which caused his heart to beat abnormally fast. He is still in CCU but will be going to a room later today. They have reset his pacemaker and if all goes well in the next 24 hours he should be home tomorrow.
Trying to stay calm, positive and not to freaked out ...
What a 24 hours!
May 13, 2009
It all started last night at about 8:45pm, I was already in bed watching some TV with my husband, not much pain just kind of tired and the phone rings. It's my nephew-in-law, he is calling from the trauma hospital, my brother-in-law collapsed while he and my sister were at their weekly dog training class. The doctors told them that he had had a heart attack, blockage, and it didn't look like he was going to make it. They are about 45 miles away from us. He said my sister knew I wasn't able to come but wanted me to know. I said OK, to keep me posted and hung up. It took approximately 30 seconds and I turned to my husband and said we are going, I have to be there for my sister. I called them back and told them we were on our way. It happened so fast, we were showered, dressed and on the road in 10 minutes! We arrived at the ER hospital at 10 pm. It wasn't until after 11 that we got the first word, they had put in a temporary pacemaker and noticed something abnormal about his heart. They were performing more tests. At this point some family members need to leave and all that was to remain and needing support, comfort, transportation were my sister and my niece. It was fine. My husband and I stayed and took care of them. When we finally had last word about 2 am, that he was stable and that they were going to sedate after we saw him with more test to follow during the day, we took everyone home, assured their security and went home to our place. We got home at 3:30 a.m.
I couldn't believe it, I wasn't tired, sore, upset, scared anything. I was assured in my mind and my heart that he and my sister were going to be OK and that I did what needed to be done to make it better for my family without once seeing the negative. I guess I always did what had to be done before, but there were underlying feelings of insecurity, or acceptance ... I am not sure if that makes sense to anyone but me ...
Well today they put in a permanent pacemaker and he might even be home tomorrow. I manned the phones from my house today relaying message and keeping everybody in the family apprised so my sister could concentrate on her husband. And today I heard from my two brothers as to how proud they were of me and how happy they were that I could be there for our sister and so soon after my own surgery and how fantastic I was doing. I am the baby of the family and don't think I have ever heard that before.
So in closing, my brother-in-law should be FINE! My sister is doing great. I am tired, but fulfilled and a bit confused as to why this episode meant so much to me ... thanks for listening!
Anxiously awaiting the phone call!
Apr 22, 2009
NO, NOT UNTIL YOU LOSE WEIGHT!!!
Apr 14, 2009
Yesterday was both a good and a rough day for me. I had my first round of pre-op testing a colonoscopy and an endoscopy. All went well. I had 1 polyp removed and should have the biopsy results within 10 days. They found a Hiatal hernia in my esophagus. It isn't bothering me so we aren't sure what, if anything we are going to do about it. However, the Gastroenterologist has released me for the surgery! YIPEE! So now I have the last pre-op test on Thursday, an upper GI.
During the tests I was on my left side for the entire time. My left knee is so much worse with arthritis than my right, but you know, you do what you have to do. So after the pain meds and anesthesia wore off I was in more pain than normal. Usually my left knee is at about an 11 without meds (on a scale of 1 to 10, not exaggerating here) and my right knee is at a 5. Well today I would say it hit 15! So I called and checked if I could take some morphine so soon after the anesthesia and was told I could. So all is well, but during the waiting for the nurse to let me know my husband said “Honey, you don’t deserve all this pain”. Well this triggered something in my memories. I wanted to cry. I didn’t and just thought about what was going on. Well here it is ... it’s old and it’s painful and it’s not pretty.
I am sure my Mom and rest of the family did this with the best intentions not knowing how it would make me feel and think about myself but this is what happened.
I remember when I was younger and wanted pierced ears. My Mom would always say, “You can have them when you lose some weight”. Now I was under the age of 10, of course I was overweight but not nearly as obese as I ended up. When ever it came to something fun/trendy to do with looks, that’s what I always heard. I also heard it when it came to do special things. Like go to the beach with friends. I didn’t realize, and I am sure my family didn’t understand, what that was saying to me or how I internalized that message. I DON’T DESERVE anything nice, pretty or special. I WON’T DESERVE any of those things in life unless I am thin.
WOW, what a horrible thing to teach me and for me to think about myself. But it is, I didn’t consciously know that until now. I can remember many times when I refused things later in life thinking, nope, can’t do that until I am skinny. Well I have never been skinny so I have missed out on so much imposed on me by family, society and myself.
Well now I know, I do deserve it ... not the pain, not the heartache, but anything I want. Like my pierced ears (ok, my sister-in-law snuck me out on my 11th birthday and got my ears pierced) my Mother acquiesced after that.
I think I am going to buy myself a cute pair of earrings ... just because!
Have I changed?
Apr 12, 2009
So here I am again. Today is the day I prepare for the colonoscopy and endoscopy which take place tomorrow. The doctor told me the prep day was much worse than the actual test. I think he’s right. Thursday is the day for my upper GI. I am hoping I will have the results quickly but am not sure. I can’t wait to hear the words “yes, you can have RNY and it’s on May 7th”.
Today is going to be a lazy day preparing for the tests. I did all the laundry and chores yesterday. My husband dusted the entire house! He’s the best. We started retraining the dog not to be on the bed. We did this for the first surgery as he cannot get up on his own and I would lift him. Since I can’t pick him up after the surgery (he’s 15lbs) we weaned him off the bed. It took a couple of days the first time. But when the surgery didn’t happen and I was depressed I asked my husband to keep picking him up and put him on the bed so I could cuddle with the dog. Now we have to start over again. The dog is not very happy about this horrible turn of events. He’s a bit spoiled!
So this last week a lot of interesting feelings and thoughts have been percolating in my brain. The first and most surprising is that I don’t want to eat anything “bad”. I have this little reprieve and thought about all those foods I could now eat until I have to start the pre-op prep again. Well I would think up all these wonderful things to eat (ice cream, spareribs, chocolate cake, etc.) and then I don’t get them, I just pass. What’s that all about? Has my wiring changed? Why am I not pigging out? Why am I not binging? I don’t have an answer but it’s the facts. I just don’t really want them. I think I want them and each night I say tomorrow maybe I will get that doughnut I have been wanting to try, I have never had a warm Krispy Kreme, I thought I would try it. But no, morning comes and I have my protein drink instead. Is this a change in my critical thinking, am I analyzing to much? I am grateful for this fundamental change and a bit scared! Well off to start with step one of the pre-colonoscopy prep ... oh FUN!
I wasn't going to do this ...
Apr 06, 2009
I guess it became a necessity to write when again today something seems to be a bump on my way to WLS. Before I go through what happened today I will memorialize what has gone on to this point.
Well things did not go according to plan. I went in for a gastric-bypass on 3/19 and came out with only an appendectomy. As it turns out I have Congenital Intestinal Malrotation. Which basically means my intestines and in the case my appendix are not where they are suppose to be, kind of on the wrong side and not held together in a normal fashion.
Once the doctors put the 5 holes in my abdomen and got the instruments and then the camera in there they were all shocked! I am told this is common to 1 in 5000 people. They went ahead and removed the appendix since it was on my left side and could cause me very serious problems if it began to rupture as it is not where it should be.
I went to the surgeon on 3/23 and it went very well. I am healing nicely. He had already had a consultation with a gastroenterologist. Upon hearing about my situation the gastroenterologist felt there should be no problem with the gastric-bypass surgery, however, I still need a couple of test to verify their feelings.
I met with the gastroenterologist on March 31. I am scheduled for a colonoscopy and endoscopy on April 13, a upper GI on April 16 and if all goes as planned the gastric-bypass surgery on May 7!!!!
My surgeon isn’t even requiring me to go on the 2 week liquid pre-op diet again. I just have to follow a high-protein, low fat, zero carb (bread,rice etc) diet.
The insurance person at his office is worked to extend my insurance approval and I received verification that it is approved for May 7th.
If all goes well, and it’s about time it does, I should only have a 7 week delay ... not to bad in the whole scheme of things.
OK, so I am on my way.
Well I also have severe arthritis in both my knees. I will be unable to take my current medication (NSAID) after the surgery. My pain is close to unbearable and do not want to stay on morphine until I can have knee replacements. My rheumatologist today came up with a very old medication that I can use after the surgery. So he prescribed it and I will begin to take it today. I left his office very happy. Well, when I went over the medication with the pharmacist (the pill is pretty big so I was asking him if I could cut or crush it) he doesn't think I can take it after the surgery. Even though it's not technically an NSAID he believes it close to aspirin which is another no no for me. So now I have to contact the surgeon and then the rheumatologist if it doesn't fit into the plan.
I am just so frustrated and would like for one day to not have a BUMP in the road.
WOW, that does feel better. This blog thing might really help. Not sure if I will be back blogging - but today it made a difference!
