rock_lobsta
Water Under the Bridge
Mar 21, 2009
“When you temporarily run aground, remember that there are no failures in life. There are only results." - Anthony RobbinsIt's been a while... Let's catch up. Since June, I've......
1. Gained it all back. Thirty-something blankity-blank pounds.
2. Lost it all again. At least to where I was in June.
3. Bunch of other crap.
MS really threw me a mental curveball. I wasn't prepared for how it can mess with your mind and demoralize you. Needless to say, I lost my motivation for a while. The will to live was gone. Not suicidal - just the desire for happiness - the resolve to sit on the couch and be a spectator in life.
I don't know what it was that snapped me out of it. Wait. That's not true. I know exactly when I turned the corner. Mid-January. Taking out the trash. Once I realized that I just took a 25# bag of trash and tossed it in the can (we have those huge mini-dumpster 96gal things) left-handed, it hit me. There's no way I should have been able to do that - omg... I just flexed my left arm... just a little. The relapse - one year later - was finally subsiding. I can't express just how that feels. Part relieved: I'm finally on the upswing - part pissed for the self-pity and letting myself go.
I knew I gained weight back - didn't know until I got on the scale. All the weight I lost last year - back (plus 1).
Now, for the record. I didn't get my surgery done. Both of my neuros had reservations about getting the RNY due to the meds I take and how it would interact with malabsorption. I never considered getting the lap-band - I don't think that would have worked for me.
Thinking about it - that was another major motivation-killer. All I had to do was set a date sometime in 2008. I had my approval in hand - and I hit my out-of-pocket max for the year. Had I gone through with WLS, it would have been gratis. It was the ideal situation - but I couldn't pull the trigger.
Now, here I am. Finally feeling a little better. Not as fatigued. Heaviest weight. Ever. Gotta do something.
So, I starting thinking about losing weight again. Surgery - not an option, can't swing the cost right now - gotta save up for the MRI in the summer. By year's end, I'll hit my out-of-pocket max again (MS is a very expensive disease), so I can have WLS at the end of the year. I thought ,"In the meantime, why not give something like Weight Watchers a shot - it's always good to have some documented attempts anyway."
The next day, Mrs. Lobsta tells me, "I've been thinking about doing Weight Watchers, why don't we try it?" Now, this Lobsta knows a hint when he sees it. Color me convinced - I'll give it an honest shot. If it doesn't go for me, then I'll go under the knife at the end of the year.
So, here we are - almost 2 months later. All the damage done over the last 8 months - all 30 pounds of it - just water under the bridge.
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About Me
Lafayette, LA
Location
28.1
BMI
Apr 27, 2008
Member Since
