Rose Enslen
I have been overweight all of my life. I gained a lot of my weight when I was in my first real relationship....if you can call it that. I met my first love in high school. He was a year and a half younger than me in age but a couple years behind in school. I got pregnant at 17, my boyfriend was 15. I didn't gain much weight during my pregnancy but it was during that pregnancy that things between me and my boyfriend began going downhill. We had been together for 7 months when I got pregnant and he was great the first couple months of my pregnancy but he got more and more irritated as the months went on. He starting hitting me when I was around 4 months pregnant. I just thought that he would stop and it would get better but it didn't. I had a healthy baby girl by c-section and for a little while he stopped hitting me...it lasted a whole month. When he didn't get his way or get money to support his drug habbit he would beat on me as if it were my fault. I stayed with him, I always thought that he had a good side and he would see it but he never did. To comfort myself I turned to food. I gained about 120 pounds in the first 3 years of that relationship. Then I found out I was pregnant with our second baby girl. He continued to hit me during that pregnancy....anywhere he could reach and that included the stomach and back. Luckily, I had another healthy baby girl. I continued to gain weight and find solace in food. I went into deep depression and I continued to stay with the man that beat me and, on occasion, tried to kill me. He never hurt the girls and I don't think he ever would. But that brings me to where my weight is now. I gained around 200 pounds in the 7 years that I stayed with him and I was never able to lose it. I tried every diet I could and I just couldn't lose the weight. I gained more on most the diets I tried. Being this overweight at only 26 is a very depressing thing for me. I eventually left that guy and I put my girls up for adoption because it was the best thing for them. I was in no condition to raise children and they deserve the best in the world, and that was to let someone who could provide for them to raise them. Although it was the hardest decision in my entire life, it was also the best. The best gift I could give my girls is a happy life. They never had that when I was with their father. They were always scared..for me and that was no life for those precious girls. It has been 2 years since I left their dad and gave them up for adoption and I am struggling everyday with many things but I have a great husband who supports me in everything I do. I have family and friends who love me and I couldn't ask for a better life. The only thing that stops me from doing all the things I used to love to do before I met my girls' father is all the weight I gained. I don't blame anyone for my weight problem but myself but I do admit that I cannot do it alone and that is why I want gastric bypass. I feel that it is my last hope to have my life back and the last hope for being the healthy, fun loving girl I used to be.
