roselynd

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So now I'm out of the ICU, breathing on my own (thank Goodness) when in comes my doctor to tell me the real bad news.  Because of the size and placement of the hole in my tummy, I MUST not EAT ANYTHING.  No water, no food, no liquids of any kind.

Yippee!  I am now on the "ICE CHIP DIET".  That's right, 4 oz. of ice chips per day is all I'm allowed.  4 OZ!  Did I mention that I also have at this time the world's worst cotton mouth?  My mouth is so dry I cannot even speak!  I have to write everything down.

Ahh but the good news is that because of the pain I am in I get a larger dose of morphine every hour!  Did you know that morphine causes cotton mouth?  Not to mention all the other medications I am on do as well.  Jeez I can't catch a break!

I am also informed that there are several ways to "fix" this hole in my tummy BUT #1 because of it's closeness to my heart surgery is out of the question, and #2 the doctors believe they'll try to see if the hole closes on its own before trying ANYTHING else.


Cut to a week later and the hole is not even trying to close on its own.  So it is decided to try to close it through endoscopicly placing some staples accross the hole and hoping that scar tissue will form.  That procedure went well, I didn't have any problems with it and the staples were placed well.

BUT I am now on TPN therapy, THREE different kinds of antibiotics, and still at only 4 oz of ice chips.  Granted the morphine is helping but now comes to my room the Physical therapist.....wanting me to walk.

Great idea except that TPN therapy causes the runs, BIG TIME not to mention all the other IV's I'm receiving causing me to have to use the toilet every hour!!!

So i spend all night running to the toilet every hour or so which would be ok except that I have to drag a very heavy IV pole with me, and having an overactive bladder, I usually don't make it there every time.  My days and nights have just become a newer nightmare I would not wish on my worst enemy!  Well maybe I would.

stay tunned for part three of my long road to home

Here I am at the end of a long journey that, in the beginning I thought I'd never see the end of.  It all began on March 2nd, 2011 when I went to the emergency room of my local hospital with nausea and vomiting.  I thought I was dehydrated.  Maybe I had even a little stomach flu.

Not quite, seems I had a Large (8mm) hole in my stomach wall.  NOT a popped staple....a damm hole!  A "tear" in my stomach linning that was letting food and liquids into my abdomen.

This let to a larger (golf ball sized) abcess.  This abcess led to emergency surgery and the beginning of my nightmare that would last for 7 long weeks.

Two hours after surgery the doctor's removed my breathing tube but the problem was I had received too much medication to paralize my breathing......I woke up unable to breathe!  I paniced at the lack of ability to breath, and I remember thinking to myself..."so this is what it's like to die..." only to hear the doctor say "  Ms. Carrig we're going to give you something to knock you out so you WON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING TO YOU".   WTF?!?  Next thing I know I am in ICU, with a tube down my throat and the nurse is asking me if there is anyone I want to call  and did I want a priest?  WTF?!?!

Twelve hours later I wake up again and the doctor is pulling the tube out of my throat and saying "cough for me".  And again WTF?!?  Finnally I discover that I can breathe and what exactly had happened to me.

Just about three weeks until I get sleeved!  I've had all my pre-op tests, my final visit to the nutritionist, and even got my bag packed for the hospital!

Now after all this time, I am getting scared.  I have had several bad experiences with the anesthesia and that is truly what I am afraid of.

It's just the final wait until they take you into surgery that kills me.  And I will be doing it alone!  My daughter will not be able to stay with me as she has to move us!

My landlord LOST this property because of low interest mortgages and we have 30 days from today to get out!

My lovely daughter is still {perhaps unconsciously} sabotaging my efforts.  Little does she know that every time she buys and gives me forbidden food, I toss it out but It is getting annoying!!!!

Any advice to get her to stop?

Any advice to help me get through the waiting and fear in the final minutes before surgery?

Today I have my first visit with my surgeon.  I am as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs!  A quick update,  My weight has dropped to 370, i am now using a protein powder that I bought at Wal-Mart that is cheap and tastes great.  It's called "Super Advanced" and it has 58 grams of protein instead of the usual 28 grams of protein.

For the first time in 8 years I was able to go to the store and buy myself an OFF THE RACK  winter coat.  I bought it about three months ago and now it is becoming a bit too big!  I wore it for the first time yesterday and I was thrilled at how well it fit and how good I looked in it.

I can't wait to go to "OLD NAVY" to shop for clothes.  Shoot I can't wait until I can go to a clothing shop that is not a "Layne Bryant" type of store.

I am feeling great right now but who knows, after all it is the surgeon that makes the final decision!  Pray it all goes good for me!


Another update sooner than the last one I hope!

What I want to know is how did anyone make it through the first few weeks.  I understand that you need to puree your food and eat VERY slowly.   Just how slowly and how did you make pureed food taste good?  Did you eat baby food or what? How did you puree the food?

Another thing, since I started on this journey I seem to be thinking about food ALL THE TIME!  I have never thought this much about food in my entire life!  The thing is I spent so much of my childhood being harrased and bullied by my father and my brothers EVERYTIME I ate something that I soon learned to hate eating.  I mean if I could NOT eat ever again I would be a very happy lady.

Anyone got any ideas or tips or tricks I can use right now?  I am pre surgery and have already lost 45lbs.  I'd like to start practiceing the WLS diet before the surgery.  Just to get used to it and perhaps to loose more weight before I go under the knife...if you know what I mean!