Rosemary S.

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Well I am very happy to say that I still have no regrets for having my surgery.
Althought I must admit It has been tough. My advice to anyone who is newly out - do not go back to work before 6 weeks. You will be exhausted and feel like you have no energy. I've lost a total of 80 lbs - 25 since surgery. I am not hungry at all and it's a job to get in my protein and fluid.  I am looking forward not back and am ready to experience life again. I can notice the difference and it feels wonderful. But I am tired :)

When I returned to work one of my closest friends had the day off. She came back to work on Tuesday. I was excited to see her and for her to see me. When I got in she was not there yet. After nine I asked if she was coming in today and was told she was here. So I waited for her to pop in my office. She never did. I saw her leter in the morning at a meeting and her only comment was "Look at you". She never said another word to me for the rest of the day.
Yesterday I let it own me. I ended up leaving a little early because I was exhausted. It was very noticable to otheres as well - which only made it worse. I thought about being the bigger person and approaching her but have decided to give her space and time. But I tell you it is bothering me. I did not expect this from her.

I went back to work today. It was a good day. I made it until 5! When I got in I got a wonderful reception from many of my co-workers. They were all very suprised at the difference. I'm very lucky to work with very nice people and my boss has been terrific. He is very kind and concerned about me. He told me to go whenever I felt tired and came in my office around 2 and wanted me to go home. I really did feel good - not too tired. It feels good to get back to my life. Normal. I walked at lunch with my walking buddies and did very well. All in all today was a good day.

I made myself turkey meatballs today. I cooked them in chicken broth. I went to eat one - I didn't put it in the food processor - it was a little dry. Ok very dry.
I tried maybe 3 tiny bites. It got stuck!!! I thought I was having a heart attack. I'm glad Nicole was here because she made me understand what was happening. About an hour later I tried to take a sip of water - I couldn't!!
I had so much pain and pressure in my chest. This lasted for 4 long hours. Then it finally passed.
It's over and I feel much better now. Thank God.

I saw the nutritionist today and it's on to stage 4- Yippee.
So I had some pureed chicken and it was the best.  I really can't wait to have more energy. But it is getting better everyday.  I was reading some posts of people who had their surgery about a week after me and it seems like a long time ago when I had all those same feelings. So time does heal :)

This is a learning experience. We make mistakes and we learn. On Friday I decided I needed a break from those wonderful protien shakes. I didn't get enough fluid in either. On Saturday morning I was up early - drank a protien shake and decided to go for my walk. I brought my water bottle - but left it in the truck. Bill and I were doing great. I wanted to go even further. On the way back I was in the sun. We almost made it back to the truck when ...I fainted.
First time in my life that happed to me. And poor Bill. I freaked him out. I was fine. Just needed fluid. Well lesson learned. I will drink drink and drink and pay more attention to my body. We went over a mile and a half :).

I saw Dr. Looser Friday afternoon and everything is going well. He is a man of few words but it's what he says that's important. "You're going to do great" he told me. Now how could I aks for anymore support. The thing is I believe he means it. He reassured me that I'm right on schedule, gave me a note to return to work on 6/24. 
Oh and Did I mention I'm down 13 lbs in 11 days since surgery
Every day that passes I feel better and stronger. I'm walking over a mile now and am getting ready to head out soon. I'd like to pick up the pace a bit. I'm going to work on increasing my energy this week before it's back to the real world.
Best decision I've made for myself!!!!

Today I actually feel more like myself since my surgery. I think I was a bit over confident going in because this was harder then I expected. I have to say this really kicked my butt. I did not like those first few days after. No I am not hungry. In fact I could probably go all day without anything. That is what I'm having trouble with. I know how important it is to get fluid and protien in. It's like my job. And the vitamins. I think my head was cloudy so these what seemed to be simple tasks were not. Simple I mean. And we had to have the first heat wave. From 50 to 95 in 24 hours. New England you've got to love it. I have not felt like watching a movie or anything that will take focus. I hope this improves soon.  I know it will. I giuess I just want to say that this is hard. It's not like having your gallbladder removed. But I am so proud of myself for doing it. For anyone who thinks this is the easy way I have a few things to share. This is the rest of my life and each phase gives way to old challenges but also brings some new ones. Now I know that just because I watched my 2 children do this I do not know everything I thought I did. And everyone is different. 

I cannot believe the things I get nervous about - feeling light headed and dizzy getting dehydrated especially today , 95 degrees, a racing heart, low blood pressure - what a switch - my energy level - how will I go back to work I could go on and on. Everything is different. Everything - right now anyway. Today Erin made me a protein smoothie with forzen berries and I was nervous to drink it because my list of acceptable food did not have berries on it. She was patient. It was good. This is normal my girls tell me. Nicole worried that she would end up hunch back because she couldn't walk straight for weeks.
So it's ok if you are scared too. 

The morning of surgery I asked Bill to hide the scale and to under no circumstances tell me where it is. I want to get weighed at my follow up appointment for the first time. It's next Friday at 3. Today was tough. I was very sore on my left side. That's where the biggest incision is and where most of the work gets done. Ofcoarse I haven't taken any pain med since 7 this morning. I'm afraid I'm going to run out and that's when I'll really need it,
I know crazy. Nancy S called this afternoon to check on me which I thought was a nice touch.  Right now I am trying to finish up my fist real protien shake. Kind of yucky.  I've gotten in more water today though. Still not quite where I'm supposed to be but working on it. I never mentioned what happened on Sunday the day before surgery. Nicole spent the day and I knew Erin had Sundays off so I was kind of expecting her to be in the car when they came, She wasn't. I got a text message durring the day saying she was running errends but thinking of me. All day I was waiting for her to appear. Nicole, Charlie and Nate went home still no Erin. Well I call her and she doesn't pick up so I think oh she's probably on her way. Well then I get a text saying she is on her way into see Sex in the City and will up be up later to chat. I couldn't believe it. I didn't say anything to Bill but it really bothered me. About 30 minutes later my phone rings and it's Erin and yes she was in my driveway!!! She actually worked on Sunday so she could take Monday off. She spent the night - we were up until well after one. She answered the same questions 10 times over and made me laugh and really tried to bring me back to her time so I would be prepared. She got up at 4:30 am with us and headed down to the hospital. The last thing she said to me was "Mom I am so proud of you - I'll be right here when you wake up" Bill was very greatful to her because she kept reassuring him and after he saw me in recovery she assured him my pain would get under control. I remember her telling me Mom I promis it won't get any worse then this. Push your button. I am so damn lucky. I had Bill, Nicole and Erin there waiting for me. Then Charle came later that night after everyone else had gone and just sat there - he kept telling me push your button. I guess I was afraid it would run out there too :) Well I think it's calling my name so I'm off to feel better.