Rosettagrace
I don't remember a not fat day. I have gained and lost and gained and lost. I think my over eating was a coping device and also letting me eat was a way for my grandparents to make up for any "lack of" mothering. That being said I am an adult now and I will not blame anyone or anything for what I am today. It's only me. I know I'm smart and pretty but it's always that little thing in the back of my mind telling me that people don't hear what I say or look at my face or what I'm wearing no matter how well put together because I AM FAT. I wasn't bothered by it so much because it never stopped me from doing whatever I wanted to do but now my knees, my back, my feet, my ankles....all the mechanics that allow my movement and walking are challenging. What happened!
Today is Saturday, August 23. I haven't been able to sleep since I got the call. I have stopped eating solid food and I know I have until Monday to go on liquids only. I keep imaging what "normal" weight is suppose to feel like. I keep trying to cut my computer off but I keep thinking is there something else I needed to know.
