roxyrocks808
My story ... this is a hard page to fill in. I guess my journey started at a young age like many but I wasn't overweight as a child in fact I was skinny. Until age 9 my family lived in NE where we lived on a farm and my mother worked as a waitress supporting our family. My dad although he tried was never much of an earner. We were poor and most days we were lacking food in the cupboards. My brother, a great hunter from a very early age provided meat when things got real bad which was a lot. I was the youngest of 4 children and although I don't remember starving, I do remember going without food. My mother divorced my dad and moved my sister and me to California when I was nine. It got better and my mom provided well for us and she soon married again and life for us at least as food goes was normal but I remember binge eating as a youngster after school when no one else was home. I think I just couldn't get enough or felt like it anyway. Finally there was food to eat and I wasn't going to miss out again.
In HS I only weight 115 and I was an athlete and very active. When I married I weighed 122 pounds and I loved to cook. I would prepare meals enough to feed 4 people instead of two. I am not sure how my husband does it but he has maintained his weight. I am the one who gained. I started going to the Gym and played Racquetball and I was able to maintain my weight until I got PG, I gained 60 lbs with my first child and never saw the 120's again. I got back down to 145 – 155 and got PG again and gained another 57 lbs and again back down to 155 – 165 pounds. After that and the next 5 year were pretty good I Maintained that weight until we moved and bought a restaurant and I've been gaining ever since. I just keep getting fatter and fatter as the years go by. I've been on every dam diet known to man.. lose and gain it back every time!
Last year I got on the scale and wt in at 271 and said that's it. I just wanted to cry, I did cry! That was in March just after my husband of 35 year underwent Triple Heart Bypass surgery. When we first found out he had 70% blockage and needed this surgery we were devastated. My husband is in really good physical condition on the outside but inside he had this blockage and needed this major surgery.
My own guilt for his condition was horrible as I thought I'd shorten or could have possibly killed my husband with my cooking. I know .... that is not true as the doctors assured me it was more genetic then anything but still I wondered and questioned what I've been feeding him for past 35 years had caught up with us. That month I did so much research on food and nutrition, read countless books and call Kaiser and made an appointment for WL program. My orientation at Kaiser-Hawaii was April 22, 2011 and that's when my journey to make a change started. I decide to have gastric bypass just because I know myself and wanted a perm solution I couldn't back out of. We are eating much healthier as a result.
In late May I was helping my husband out of the shower and ruptured a disc although no one knew this even with all the CAT scans and MRI's I had. I was told it's was just a bad disc and I could have surgery if I wanted to repair it. I was in so much pain I had no choice and by the time I finally had surgery I couldn't walk literally, had to be wheel chairs anywhere I wanted to go, couldn't sit or stand, nothing. My surgery was suppose to be 1.5 hours same day release. It turned out to be 4.5 hours and 4 days in the hospital. What they found was a ruptured disc with tiny bone fragments sprayed throughout my tissues, muscle and nerves and it took 4.5 hours to pick them all out. The next 9 months was about recovery and getting back on my feet. Physical therapy and just walking again because I had nerve damage, numbness and still the pain, not as bad but still there.
I am better now and resolved in having this surgery. I need to lose weight now more than ever. I want to be mobile and able to do things again. It's been a crazy 14 month journey and I am looking forward to the next year and being on the loser's bench.. I am READY!
