I was one of those children who didn't want to eat, but belonging to the clean plate club, I was forced to eat by competing with my father.  I hated to be forced, compete and threatened to eat, so I finally complied and gained weight to the point of no return.

Over the years I struggled with my weight and went on every diet known to man -- how exhausting and disappointing. I would lose weight and gain it back with a few pesky extra pounds. My mother was my champion!! She was patient while shopping for clothes for me, supportive when I was dieting, firm when I was weak, nurturing and comforting when my self-esteem would sink to the bottom. I was always beautiful to her, but she wanted me to lose weight to stay healthy. When my father would chastise me for being fat, my mother would angrily retort, "how dare you talk about our daughter like that".  I was constantly teased by family members and strangers. Dating was traumatic and my self-esteem was not intact for the injuries it took over the years. I found comfort in her and food, and how I needed comforting.

Stress and emotional highs and lows found me eating, thus I was eating all the time. I was always active as a child. I played handball, paddle ball, volleyball, swam, rock climbing,etc. When I moved to North Carolina and started working, all activity came to a halt and the pounds piled on my body.

My bones have been an issue for me since 19 years old and things have gotten progressively worse with the weight gain over the years. Every doctor would say, "lose weight and things will get better". Easier said than done I would tell each and every normal weight doctor. Then I would discuss Weight Loss Surgery, and each doctor would say, "No, do it on your own", but the weight would inch up and not down. It would be my resolve to lose weight, but the same scenario would occur, clean out my kitchen, go grocery shopping for healthy food, cook healthy, exercise, lose weight, feel good, feel confident, take my will back, eat what I wanted, gain weight, get discouraged, and eat some more. Thus, the weight continued to ballooned.

In October 2007, I went out on disability for a torn meniscus in my left knee and bulging discs and several nerve compressions in my back - how dreadful. My mobility was compromised and I was miserable. My neurosurgeons were conservative in their treatment and wanted me to lose weight, but at the mention of Weight Loss Surgery, they would say, "no, do it on your own and exercise". Again the vicious cycle was repeated and I lost 30 pounds and returned back to work in nine months.  But I was not able to exercise and the weight returned with a few extra for old time sakes.

Finally this year, another doctor recommended having weight loss surgery and I jumped up and down with joy. I wanted my mobility!!!! I didn't care to run a marathon or be a swimsuit model, I just wanted to go to places, like the mall, without walking assistance. I understand that Gastric Bypass will not fix my knees or my back, but with less weight, it might be manageable. I want to navigate the airport or Target (my favorite store) without riding a scooter!!!

About Me
Location
38.0
BMI
RNY
Surgery
08/04/2009
Surgery Date
May 29, 2009
Member Since

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