Why Must I Be Everyone's Personal Assistant?

Oct 14, 2011

Since I've been an adult, pretty much everyone calls me for pretty much everything: from money to typing a resume to running errands to doing taxes and anything else you can think of.  It started out okay and I never mind helping people out but now its become expected of me.  And when I say "no" or "not now" its like the whole world comes to a stand still and attitudes start to flare. I rarely ask anyone to do anything for me.  I'm a true do it yourself girl.  For years, when my husband and I were separated, I was a single mom.  I managed to get several promotions at work and purchase my own home by the age of 23.  My family and friends saw this as "Ruby must have extra money". Don't get me wrong, I can say No, but more often than not, I'll compromise instead of saying NO altogether.  Well now, its like several people are pulling me in several directions and I've said no to everyone these past couple of months (really all this year) and they don't like it one bit.  My grandmother even stopped calling me.  And as much as I love my grandmother and will do anything for her, she was my biggest 'boss'. She would send me everywhere and expect me to do everything for her.  We have a huge family.  There are about 7 aunts and uncles and about 20+ grand kids.  Its not like I'm the only one around.  People tell me that it's because I'm so reliable that people depend on me.  Well no more! I am raising 2 boys (their father and I have reconciled and that's working good) and I work and go to school.  I am no longer allowing people to dictate my time.

How is this weight-loss related, you ask? 

Well, they think that since I've lost weight and got back with my husband (which happened before the weight-loss but I digress), my attitude has changed.  That maybe I think I'm too good to be around or "help out".  And that's not it at all.  I'm just tired of people taking advantage of me and I'm taking a stand.  I will no longer stress myself out over YOU and YOUR problems.  I didn't say I wouldn't care, but I'm not going to jump through hoops to fix something you created.

This Saturday is my grandmother and her twin's birthday dinner.  Our entire family hasn't had an event since Easter.  My aunt has been trying to get me to do several things for the party and is upset because the only thing I volunteered to do was bring a dish for the potluck.  She wanted me to place an order for a custom cake and pay $100 for it and she would "pay me back". Umm, no thanks.  And so because I asked her for the money up front, she said never mind and didn't order the cake at all.  I've been working on a big project all month at work and my hubby's birthday is this month as well, and I'm working hard on this big party we're throwing and the surprise gifts I'm ordering, so needless to say, I have other things on my plate.  But no one ever asks me do I need help or am I busy, they just assume I can do whatever it is they need.  So I know this Saturday, my aunt will make a few comments about my unwillingness to help out but I will tell her what I've been telling her and everyone else all year long.

I'm tired.  Just plain tired of everyone pulling on me.

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About Me
Houston, TX
Location
31.6
BMI
RNY
Surgery
10/01/2010
Surgery Date
Feb 25, 2010
Member Since

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