my new grown up job and getting to give something back

Jun 14, 2007

So, I started working at Texas Bariatirc Specialists yesterday. I am so excited about it. Working in this feild is exactly what I want to do when I get out of school in may. So this is really great. Dr. Patel is an amazing person, not only did he save my life with my RNY bypass, now he has given me a job. Amazing. This does however mean that I will be driving to and from san antonio everyday, and I will have to quit the smokehouse. Which is okay, but I don't want to leave them high and dry. I guess I will figure it out when I go to work at the smokehouse on Sat. I am just so incredibly happy with everything right now. Justin and I are doing amazingly well. We celebrated 6 months of an offical relationship June 4th. I met his family last week, and I had an absolute blast in Oregon. So life is really really good right now. It's 6am and I am already dressed, makeup on, and hair done....that is so new to me. I have to run some errands before work, so I had better get goin.

so much in love

Feb 21, 2007

so...im usually not one to write about my love life online (at least not usually) i mainly reserve this writing for my own journal..but it seems that going with the flow of my night and being so open and hearing so many of my friends open up to me tonight that it is only fitting that i feel the need to spill the beans about what has been going on in my world. i have never felt the feelings which have been rushing through me lately. i feel like a whole new world has opened up to me. sure ive been in relationships before and sure at the time i thought i was in love. i know that i loved the old boyfriends in some way but it wasnt the type of love that is written about. it wasnt the have to live for you love that all girls hope to find. i usually find myself guarded. only willing to let my sisters and family in close. with guys i lock up, put up walls to keep them out. im never willing to give myself to them totally for the fear that they will use it against me. it has been my experience that most of the guys you date in your 20s are douche bags. it is so much easier to join the pack, hoe it up, and live in the moment. now when i started coreponding with justin while he was in iraq i never thought that we would be so close already. sure i would stay up all night talking to him on the internet, wake up at 4 am when he would call just to talk about nothing for an hour, and i counted down the days for his return. but im not going to lie, before he was here and tangible i was treating this like a game just as i would have anyother. i never imagined being in a relationship again. at least not for a while. i was the single and loving it girl. but the second he hugged me in front of my old apartment i knew. the first time we kissed was like my first kiss. the touch of his hand on mine sends chills up and down my spine, and when he first whispered the words i love you. i changed. hearing him tell me that he loves me is the most amazing sentance i have ever heard. they always say when it is real you know it. i never really understood that until now. my past relationships have been so forced. the first one was well...retarded to say the least, it seems like that was so long ago...it's amazing what can happen in 2 years. the second significant relationship was to say the least...unhealthy. nothing against the guy...he has an honest heart and a good soul, but we were trying to make something fit that was never meant to be. but with justin it is simple. when im with him i can be me. i can be silly, serious, a complete mess, and he always knows exactly what i need. feeling accepted with him is like nothing i have ever felt with a guy. other than with my best guy friend (zack) i have never been able to completely let down around a member of the opposite sex. with justin...i can. i still struggle with opening up to him...but he usually knows what i want to say before i say it. this is such a new relationship but i already know. i know that he will always be a part of my life. im happy. for the first time in my life i can be with someone without being dependent on them. i am with him for the sake of happiness. he isnt using me. im not using him. we are in it together for the right reasons and that is definately something to cherish.

its nice not to be cynical anymore! :)


sometimes family is the rudest...

Feb 20, 2007

so yesterday my grandparents came to visit me and take me to dinner. well they brought my great aunt and her husband with them. aunt vera and buster live out of state and hadnt seen me since my surgery. i was nervous about what to wear in front of them because naturally i want them to be proud and i wanted to look as skinny as possible. and because nana and papaw paid for my operation i wanted vera to think that her neice's money was well spent. so i put on my SIZE 10 jeans and a medium shirt with a cute hoodie over it and went to anwser the door. yeah. so we were walking into the san marcos river pub and grill, and i over hear auntie telling nana that i was still chubby and needed to lose more weight. i guess 135 lbs wasnt enough for her. and nana's response was...well you know she's just built to be big. she'll never be as small as we are. AHHH! are you freakin kidding me! 

that just sucks to hear. but i know ive done well...ive lost a whole freakin person in 6 months. so eeffff that....boo on her. ahh! so angry.

bikini

Feb 16, 2007

i never thought i would be able to confidently try on bikinis with my roomies and feel sexy and beautiful with my stomach exposed. it is so nice to walk tall and proud and know that nobody can take away what i have achieved in the last 6 months. the skin on my tummy may be scarred with old stretch marks and my scars from my rny but i know that i earned the right to wear my skimpy swim suit and if the people of south padre have a problem with my naked tummy they can kiss my celulite covered ass because i have certainly earned the right to wear it! wahooo! spring break 07 here i come. i hope theyre ready for me

century club

Feb 11, 2007

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new clothes and my valentine

Feb 06, 2007

so, i dont really post a whole lot on here, and i really want to change that. I feel like this site helps so many people, and I owe it to the girls who are out there that are just like the way i was before surgery. girls who are so uncomfortable with their bodies that they can barely function. girls who always fall into the fat but funny role, or the she has such a pretty face, or great personality. so thats my little rant, and im going to try to post more on here. 

I have some amazing news. I ordered my first pair of size 10 jeans. 10!! i still cant believe it! i called my old roomie who has always been thin and who can eat anything she wants...and not gain an ounce. she was like...WHAT?! everyone seems to be freaking out. and i think it is so cool because its like everyone is really starting to comment. I mean its about time ive lost 130 lbs. i have really been noticing it myself lately.  my boyfriend who didnt know me before, but who has known me since november is always telling me how amazing i look, and that i have an amazing body. ive never been told my body was anything but ugly, so this is definately a change. i bought a bikini the other day. i need to take the top back because my boobs are still a little too big for it...but who cares...its a freakin bikini!!! haha. 

valentines day. so i mentioned my boyfriend. he is amazing. for valentines day we went to a swanky bed and breakfast in austin. we went early because i have sorority stuff going on the night of vday. i know its totally lame that the girls planned crap for that night but i think its because theyre all single. haha. so i ordered a couple lacey nightys to wear for justin this weekend (he is stationed at fort hood until he gets out of the military in march, so we are doing the long distance thing). im really excited about it. being alive is so much more fun when youre not huge. i mean sure weight isnt everything but life is just better when youre comfortable in your own skin.

175!!!!

Feb 03, 2007

so today is one of the best days of my life. i am down to 175! i never ever thought i would weigh this. i cant remember the last time i weighed less than 200 before the surgery let alone 175. being smaller now than i was in junior high school...priceless!

things are going really great for me. thank God for Dr. Patel and for RNY!

SIZE 12!!!!!!

Jan 03, 2007

WHAT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! AM I REALLY WEARING A SIZE 12 JEAN FROM AMERICAN EAGLE?! you bet your ass i am! i cant believe this! what an amazing way to start 2007. i cant believe how great it feels to be normal. to be small. to only be 40 lbs from my goal. its so crazy. i can share clothes with my sorority sisters, go for a run, dance for hours, and i am having the time of my life. i am in love with life, and with my new self. i am so thankful that i was able to have this operation. i tell everyone i meet about the amazing way it has changed my life. thank you soooo much dr patel!

199!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dec 10, 2006

I am under 200!!! for the first time since i was in junior high school, i weigh less than 200 lbs. this is the best feeling in the world. thank God i chose to have my operation! what a life changing and life saving experience! i have lost 105 lbs since aug! holy shit! the plateau is over!!! i have about 40 more to go....YAY!

plateau

Nov 21, 2006

I know I should be happy with my success and that a plateau is normal, but I find myself becoming more and more frustrated as this month of losing literally nothing continues. I am trying to stay positive, but can't seem to kick the plateau. I work out about 3 times a week and walk about 2 miles everyday. I am very active, and with my new lifestyle its hard for me to realize that I am still doing good. Writing this makes me feel like I am anwsering my own concerns, the thing is that I don't really have anyone i can talk to about what I am going through. I feel like maybe i need help with motivation or something. I dont know...all I know is that as the holidays get closer, I know I will be seeing so many people who havent seen me since my operation. I look completely different, and I should be happy with my success, but lately Im just angry that Im not to 100lbs yet!!

About Me
San Marcos, TX
Location
26.6
BMI
RNY
Surgery
08/07/2006
Surgery Date
Jul 17, 2006
Member Since

Friends 16

Latest Blog 11
my new grown up job and getting to give something back
so much in love
sometimes family is the rudest...
bikini
century club
new clothes and my valentine
175!!!!
SIZE 12!!!!!!
199!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
plateau

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