sallyj

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I got my plastic surgery date--Feb. 28th.  I'm looking forward to it, but at the same time this surgery is a bit more unnerving.  Maybe because I can see the results of them wacking on me!  I'm looking forward to the improvement as I've become more self-conscious of the droop and flap since starting to think seriously about the ps.  I so look forward to being able to buy a regular bra at a regular store.  

I had my consult with a second plastic surgeon yesterday, and I feel much better about going with him.  He spent more time, seemed more engaged in the process, answered my questions, and did a bit more poking and prodding so I could get a sense of what would be done and what the results would be.  And he will do both the arms and the breast reduction at the same time.  That saves about $1,1oo but also an additional recovery time, time off from work, and time between surgeries.  His nurse is supposed to call me today to set a surgery date which will be early March if I'm lucky.  The surgeon is going to be gone all of February.  I just want it done and me healed enough to go the the conference in Orlando.  

I'm having trouble staying on track this week with both food and exercise.  Sometimes I just don't want to eat protein.  I get tired of all the chewing!  But then I don't feel like exercising.  So I don't eat right and don't exercise.  But the week is almost over, so I'll get going again this weekend.  

I've decided not to buy any more clothes--except what I absolutely have to--until spring.  I'll try to find some things at consignment shops for the conference, but nothing more for winter.  And nothing really good until I am in the size I plan to remain.  My goal was originally to be a size 12, but now I'm wondering if I can't make it to a size 10.  I see more size 10s online on the sale sites I like!  And a lot of designers only go to size 10.  How vain.  But with the plastic surgeries (assuming insurance with pay for the tummy tuck), it might be possible.  But I clearly need to get back on track if I want to achieve that goal.

Didn't lose anything this past week--and actually gained .2 pounds, but after the last two good weeks, that doesn't surprise me.  I usually have a couple of high weeks and then a couple of low ones.  And to be losing so well this far out is a good thing in itself.  I still want to get the last 25 pounds off by May 15th--my 18 month mark.  I think I should be able to make that, but I am trying to stay reasonable about it knowing that I have little control over the body.  I can control what I eat and my exercise though.  

I didn't get my swimming in on Sunday as planned due to more snow.  I was able to shovel my own driveway.  That's a first and I didn't even feel like I was going to die!  I did about half the drive--the part I use--and figured that would be my morning exercise.  I'll try to make up for the missed time during the week.  I have things Tuesday and Thursday night, but I should be able to make some after work times.  

It is so nice being able to do everyday things without the excess weight.  Not only digging out the driveway, but wrapping a towel around me, or sitting on a barstool height chair, or just going into a regular store and feeling like I have a right to shop there.  I picked up some pants this weekend at Talbots in a size 14 petite!  Me!  They are a bit snug as yet (I tend to buy things snug to start with so they will last me longer).  So I am now in a 14-16 misses instead of a 36 womens.  This is so wonderfully strange for me.  

I see the second plastic surgeon this week about the arms and breast reduction.  I hope I am more encouraged with this one--and that he'll do both at the same time.  If I can get it done in early March, all the better.  I'd love for it do be done before the convention.  It is odd thinking about how I will look.  I've never been "normal" so don't know what I really should look like.  I wonder how this will effect my proportions?  I found a specialty bra shop listed for Omaha that I will go to a few months post-surgery to be fitted.  It will be great to be able to wear a normal bra.  Then it will be time to look into the tummy tuck.  Ireally would like to get everything taken care of this year, if possible.

Well my breast reduction surgery is off for now.  The surgeon is not working the day I was scheduled.  I might go ahead and do it a couple of days later, but I've also made an appointment for the other doctor in that office.  I am just not sold on this guy.  If the other one will do both surgeries at the same time, I'll probably go with him.  It would put me back just a couple of weeks.  I did express my concerns to the nurse and that I was more than willing to go to a different office altogether.  While she was supportive ("We want you to feel comfortable") they are also a business and want to keep patients.  I'm going to take in more questions and see if I can't get a better since of this doctor's skills.  I do still have the appointment with the third one as well.  I want to feel good about this and not just worried.  It would be great to have both done in early March and have at least the top half of me in shape for the trip to Orlando.  And then I could do the TT later in the year.  I expect that will take more recovery time, so I'd like to do that this summer.

Oh well, the best laid plans of mice and men!

I lost another good "chunk" this past week--5 pounds--and at 14 months out.  So I guess the eating and exercise thing still matters.  I am now firmly below 200 pounds at 193.  And that means I have actually lost more than I now weigh.  I don't know why this makes me more excited than all the other goals, but it does.  Only 25 more pounds to reach my goal of 168 or 230 pounds off.  And just 13 more pounds to get out of the "'obese" category!  

I am still looking into the plastic surgery options.  I have been approved for the breast reduction and have a date.  But I am also checking with another doctor about the arms.  I'll meet with her just a few days before the surgery date.  And then I found an online site that shows a great job of the arms done by a ps in Iowa City.  They do a good job of going into the armpit and sides.  I'm wondering if I should take the pictures to show her and see if she can do the same.  I need to look into the time between surgeries as well to figure out when to try to do them.  And then it is figuring out the order as well.  I need to plan based on recovery time.  Today I plan on talking to the 401k people about using that to pay medical costs.    Lots of pieces to take care of.  

I bought some Ben and Jerry's frozen yogurt this weekend because it was on sale (and actually about the same calories as the other brands).  And I actually ate the regular portion size and left the rest in the freezer!  I didn't eat the whole pint!  I am learning how to eat like a normal person--making something last four servings instead of just one!  That is really cool.  And just for fun, I can now throw my leg over my other one when I cross them.  I don't have to lift it with my hands.  I don't sit with my legs crossed--bad for the circulation--but it is nice being able to!

I had my first plastic surgery consult on Monday.  I'm not all that impressed with the surgeon--I'd like a bit more enthusiasm for the work--but I think he'll do fine for the breast reduction.  It's not like there's much choice here in Sioux City .  He won't do the arms at the same time--doesn't like having the patient under that long--and didn't seem very positive about the surgery in general.  So I think I will look elsewhere for that.  I might even check into going to .  I'll have to see what the process is and the cost savings.  Since it is self-pay, I can do it anywhere.  So I've scheduled the reduction for February 19th and am just waiting for the insurance approval.

I finally hit under the 200 pound mark.  As of Sunday morning I am at 198.6.  I haven't been under 200 since high school.  I think this has been the biggest milestone for me.  I'm feeling good and just feel so amazed that it has even happened.  I still struck by the reality of how much weight I've actually lost.  Now when the conversation turns to weight loss, I feel like I can be a normal part of it.  When I weighed over 300 pounds, it was just hopeless to even think about getting it off.  But 30 pounds, not so bad.  It is just normal weight loss.  I'm still not down into the misses large sizes like I want--I want to be able to walk into any store and find something I can reasonably expect to fit.  But I can pretty much expect to fit an extra large misses.  Well, the pants still give me problems because of my calves, but I suspect that will be a permanent issue.

My goal is still be at 170 by the 18 month mark.  I think I can do it if I stay focused. 

 

It is now the new year and I am approaching my remaining weight loss with renewed vigor!  I am surprised that I did not gain anything over Christmas but actually even lost a bit--just 1.4 pounds, but I'll take it.  I did eat too much and the wrong things, and didn't exercise.  But the holidays are over and it is back to business.  I have another 35 pounds to reach goal and hope to do that by May.  I need to focus more on the protein instead of carbs and keep the exercise up.  

I had a good time on my trip and could actually despise the air travel for its own reality rather than because I was too fat to be comfortable.  This is the first time I have flown comfortably since I was a teen.  I could even put the tray table down!  I still had an aisle seat for the extra room, but I wasn't sticking out into the isle where the stewardess would keep bashing into me.  I don't know what it is about travel that makes me want munchies, but that was a problem.  I need to work out the role of carbs and why they are so attractive to me.  I wonder if there is research on the interaction of carbs with hormones that make one feel good?  

It was odd visiting people and finding that many of them had put on weight but I hadn't.  Some people stayed pretty much the same, but others had put on quiet a bit.  I was always the one so embarrassed by how much I'd gained.  I think with this trip I became even more aware of the size I used to be as perceived by others.  I never saw myself as big as I really was.  Now it is odd to see others in that light.  One friend is even looking into wls for this coming year, so it was good to be able to talk with her.  She has other health issues that impact her quality of life as well, but I'm sure this would help.  

I came home with a head cold--what fun--so have been relying on Nyquil to get me through the night.  I had planned on getting some swimming in, but just couldn't get myself there with the snotty nose.  I so do prefer being able to breath.  Nothing tastes very good--or at all for that fact--but I still want to munch.  I bought a new lace knitting book that I want to start some projects from.  I still find knitting a very helpful distraction. 

I just need to avoid getting lazy!

398/204.6/170

I think all this month has been a see saw with the same few pounds.  I'm still at 206.  But that isn't a gain, so with the holidays and such, I am happy.  I actually wonder if I am getting in enough protein on the potluck/party days.  I'm sure the calories are there--they add up quickly--but I do worry about the protein grams.  I was so spoiled this summer with the great organic eggs, that now all the other eggs just don't seem that good.  So I've been eating weight-control oatmeal, but that isn't all that high in protein.  

I have found a way to get more protein when using canned soup--as I do love soup in the winter.  I asked the deli to cut me a 1/2 inch thick slice of roast beef or ham or whatever meat is appropriate for the soup.  Then I cube 2 to 3 oz. and add it to the soup.  When I reheat it, I get the soup flavor, some liquid, but more protein.  And without having to fix the meat myself.  

I am now generally able to fit into an 16/18 missus rather than the women's sizes.  Of course, it depends on the cut (especially pants), but NO MORE PLUS SIZE SHOPS FOR ME!  I found a pair of navy wool pants this weekend, so I can wear the navy/teal jacket I found on sale last fall.  I just need to keep on top of things (especially exercise) and get on down to goal.  As I tried things on this weekend, I kept thinking how things would look different after a breast reduction.  That made me all the more excited about doing it.  It is a bit more dramatic in a strange way than even the wls.  I guess even with never really seeing myself as large as I really was, I've always seen myself as being busty.  So what will it be like to not be busty?  Will I feel out of proportion?  I'd love to have it done before the conference.

Just two more days before I fly out for Christmas--and I am so excited.  

398/206/170

This has been a lazy couple of weeks for me; I'm not being as strict with myself in terms of eating and exercise and the lack of weight loss shows it.  I don't want to become too satisfied and comfortable that I don't reach my goal.  I did actually bike five days this week, so that was good.  I need to get back into that habit.  And when I'm not feeling well, I need to still exercise if just not at the same level.  

I went to a potluck last night that was supposed to be more of a dinner but it turned out to be more just appetizers--cheese balls, dips, and sweets.  I don't like cheese, so that left me short of protein because I had planned to make that my dinner.  So the two things I don't need to eat--crackers and sweets--were things available.  I did eat a bit more of each than I should have, but I am going to be on a protein only regimen for the next several days.  I have two more parties to go to and two more holiday lunches, but then I will be back in the swing of normalcy!  While I am not doing "perfect," I still feel pretty good about what I've done.  I've limited the amount I've eaten and the sweets and carbs.  I haven't lost control or gone overboard.  

Yesterday was the first day I noticed any skin problems under my "apron."  On the right hand side the skin was peeling--like after a sunburn--but was kind of milky colored and moist instead of dry.  I meant to take a picture for documentation but forgot my camera.  It is a bit strange taking pictures of oneself like that.  But it might help when it comes tummy tuck time.   Another reason to get back on track to reach goal.  

I'm still working on the same pound or so that I have been all month.  I can't say I'm putting too much effort in--and be truthful!  This is a party-place at work--lots of potlucks and floor parties.  I am limiting myself but I do allow one sweet.  This plus the cold weather and not wanting to get up to exercise has hurt my self-discipline.  

I have to say it is great to be able to go and not worry about the food.  I look, make my choices, and enjoy.  And I never ever think about what someone else has on their plate.  Before I just always assumed people would see me eat and think what a pig I was.  It doesn't dawn on me to worry about what someone else is eating!  

I haven't been getting to the pool like I should due to the cold weather.  It is difficult thinking about swimming when it is 20 degrees outside.  I know the pool is heated, but for some reason that doesn't help.  I haven't been as regular with my bike either, but that has improved this week.  I do notice that even with just a week off, it takes a toll.  It takes me longer to get back up to the speed and intensity which I had been doing.  And with the holiday trip coming up, I don't know how I'll get my exercise in.  I should have gone for a cortizone shot before  Christmas, but it was too late by the time I decided to.  

I did a support group presentation--I'm never a good judge of how those things go--but it was fun.  I worry about our support group kind of falling away now that Deb is no longer running it.  The current person doesn't seem to have the same personal investment in it.  There are very few regulars any more.  Maybe that will change with the seasons and it isn't so cold and dark.  Next week we have our Christmas party (another potluck!) and the "pants parade."  I haven't brought out my saved pair.  I don't know if I want to try them before hand or not.

I was talking with a co-worker about going to a conference and it was so wonderful to just not worry about flying, sharing a room, etc.  While I still need to get more weight off, I just feel so much more normal.  

I have about eight more pounds to lose to get below the 200 mark.  I don't think I can do that by new years, but maybe by the end of January.  I have to keep focused on the goal.  I'm thinking about getting some exercise bands to use for some variety.  And those I could travel with.

I finally updated my old journal to the new blog.  I had debated about whether to do that or not.  I finally decided to because it was so encouraging for me when I read others, especially the SMO.  I need to do a better job of keeping it up as my own piece of accountability.