sallyj

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Went on my first roadtrip in about two years.  I took the Miata and was comfortable (with the exception of my knees getting stiff but that is not a weight issue).  It was great fun to even feel up to doing such a trip.  I went to Mount Rushmore and Crazy Horse.  I was a bit disappointed in how my knees hurt.  I guess I don't want to believe the orthapedic surgeon when he said my knees will hurt regardless of my weight.  I feel so much better otherwise, I just want the knees to be better as well. 

There were a couple of "wow" moments as well: one, I actually could take a bath.  It has been a long time since I could fit in and out of a tub.  So both mornings I had a nice long soak.  I still like my shower--especially for the hair--but it is great to have that option.  And two, I went out for dinner the second night to a place that had an outdoor eating area.  The hostess takes me out, and I see that the chairs are those green plastic lawn chairs.  My first thoughts are that I can't possibly fit in one, that it will collapse, etc.  But not only does it not collapse, but I can even fit!  Ah, the little things are so much fun.

I wasn't sure how eating out would be, but I did okay.  The first night I think I freaked out the waitress because I didn't want anything to drink, didn't want the bread, didn't want the salad, and didn't want anything but the dinner.  I had filet mignon with some mashed potatoes and veggies.  I tired to guestimate ounces--and tried for 4 oz.  I also ate some of the potatoes and a few veggies.  I still don't get enough green veggies regularly.  The next night it was pork cooked with Greek flavorings and rice.  I actually did some of the rice and didn't have a problem.  I just made sure I chewed really well.  The last thing I wanted was to get sick on vacation.  Breakfasts were easy--scrambled eggs and some kind of meat (buffalo sausage and ham).  And lunch was BBQ buffalo.  I didn't have any trouble finding an option for a meal.  I left a lot on my plate and took the leftover pork for lunch the next day.  I was hoping to not gain and maybe loose a little despite being on vacation and actually lost 3 lbs.--for a total of 6.4 lbs. for the week!  I did drink more water--especially when driving--than just the 64 oz.--thank goodness for state rest stops!

Now I feel much more confident about flying to Baltimore this summer for the seminar.  I know that others who see me still see this huge woman, but I know the difference.  I am now down 102 lbs.--in 5 months and 3 days!  Soon the loss will slow down--and I know that and am trying to get my head in the right place for it.  I do hope to be down another 11 lbs. by May 15th--half way to my goal of 170.  I just feel so much more hopeful about my success than I ever have before.  The hunger hasn't returned, I'm still doing okay with the exercise, the calorie count is still managable, and the water is even increasing (which is good with summer coming).  I am not yet securely into "non-Catherine's" brand women's clothes, but am heading there fast.  I can get into some of the Elizabeth and Evan Picone pieces I have.  But it will take a few more pounds off before I can confidently walk in knowing there will be something I can fit.  But I am now out of the 300s, into the 200s--yeah.  Now onward and downward!

398/296/170

Well today is my 150th day--or end of 5 months--and this morning I was 299.4, below 300!  I go to the doctor this afternoon for the official weight (why is it always late afternoon after at least 6 glasses of water and two meals!).  But I am really pleased.  Only 1.4 lbs. from my own goal of being down 100 lbs., but after two weeks of just 2 lb. losses, I've very happy.  I am now in clothes that I was trying to loss down to in my last diet attempt.  That really helps me sense that things are really different this time.  I am so looking forward to being securely in the 200s.  The next milestone will be 250. 

I'm getting more and more comfortable in the Miata.  I'm going to take the weekend and go to Mount Rushmore .  This is the first road trip I've made since I got here.  I could barely even get into the car last summer or move my legs--necessary with a stick!  So this will be great.  And this is just the beginning. 

I know things will start to slow down, and I'm trying to get okay with that.  I am just so grateful that so much is gone already.  I feel confident that I will be able to continue with my good habits--even the exercise!  I hope that I'm a fortunate one who doesn't get the major hunger back.  That will be a challenge if it happens.

So for the biggest problem has been constipation, so I am on the look out for ways to combat that.  Now I understand why it becomes such a hot topic for the elderly--it hurts!  I've had it as part of my PMS for years now but never like this. 

But life is good, spring is here, and it is road trip time!  This will be my first time away from my own cooking and eating on the road.  I don't know if I'll have a chance to go to the gym before I leave, but I will get extra exercise in walking while there. 

Next weekend I'm having Spenser's picture taken and I might even have one with me in it.  It would be nice to have a photo record for later.  I'm not sure though, still being as large as I am.

398/299/170

Tuesday, an organization I am with received an award from the Iowa Parks and Recreation Association for a lay organization.  It was a very nice award but in Dubuque --the other side of the state.  At first we were going to drive (6 hours) but then found out that a gentleman from another organization that was receiving an award had a private plane and was willing to fly us.  I’m glad I had a chance to ride in a small plane, but once was enough.  There is no way I could have done it a few months ago—I wouldn’t have been able to get in or out of it!  As it was, it was very cramped (made my Miata feel big).  I was surprised at how slow it felt—just like a regular jet.  I like feeling like I’m going fast, hence the sports car.  I wound up with all sorts of little bruises from getting in and out.  And “lady-like” was not the word of the day.  To get out I had to slide on my rump and I had to crawl up the wing to get in!  No cameras please.  And there is nothing in Iowa except farms.  I didn’t get home until close to 1:00, and I’m usually in bed by 9:00, so I was very glad to get back to my bed. 

I am back in my Miata; I had gained so much weight that I couldn’t fit in it to drive.  I took yesterday off (since I got home so late), and it was a gorgeous spring day!  It was sunny and in the low 70s.  I had to replace the battery and get new front tires, but oh, how much fun!  I had the top down and just zipped around all day.   I just love driving that car; it always makes me smile.  I need to give it a good cleaning—maybe this weekend.  It is so nice knowing that I can physically do it.  Before I simply could not stand or move that long.  I know the weight loss will slow down soon, but boy, I really like feeling this good and look forward to getting smaller and smaller. 

I moved my five month doctor's appointment up a week because of work conflicts, so now I have only seven more days to reach my goal of losing 100 lbs. by that appointment.  It will be pushing it.  I would need to lose 6 lbs. in 11 days.  I've had a couple of bad days of not getting everything in because of 1) the awards dinner, 2) not having my stuff with me, and 3) wanting to drink instead of eat.  I had planned to do extra protein the day of the dinner, but forgot it.  I didn't worry because I thought I would be okay with whatever protein they served.  It was the toughest piece of steak I have ever tried to eat!  I would have to gnaw on each bite a thousand times just to get it down.  And a lot of non-WLS people at the table couldn't get through theirs either.  But I figure that with my usual regime I have enough reserves to handle a day or two below goal. 

Well, PMS didn't happen this month--except for a few pimples--so I was surprised this past weekend.  My period started and I didn't have my usual .2 lb. weight gain.  That was a nice surprise.  I am now down 92 lbs., about 35% of my excess weight. 

For some reason, this past week I could tell more difference compared to just a few weeks before when it seemed like nothing was really changing.  I am now getting out of the clothes I had always lost down to, and that seems to help.  I was putting on one such pair of pants and realized that they were now too big all the way down and not just in my waist.  It will probably be a while yet before I need to get any new pants--the leg issues will always be a problem--but it was nice to fell like there was a big difference.  I think when you start out at my size that it just takes a lot of loss before a significant difference shows.  But it was encouraging.

I am trying to figure out my summer plans--which will include a conference I have to fly to--in light of my weight goals, food needs, weather and, of course, my puppy dog.  I think my conference will be in July, so that gives me a bit more time to get more weight off so I can fit the plane seats.  (And not have to get an extender!)  And I have the OH day seminar in WI on June 4th.  I want to be able to take some time off and visit friends--which means a long road trip--so I have to have my meals thought through in advance, supplies purchased, and hotels picked out.  If I'm gone more than a week, I'll see about taking my dog with me.  I don't want to kennel him too long. 

The knitting is coming along well--no bamboo yarn yet (slow company).  I've now finished the baby bunting that looks like an ear of corn, moved on to a dog sweater for the SOLA fundraiser, and started on a cashmere lace scarf.  I was going to work up a pair of purple wool mittens to see how this brand compares to the brand I used last time, but the season for mittens is almost over (yeah!).  I could make a scarf instead for a Christmas gift, but I don't know who would like the purple. 

I'm still having some trouble keeping fish down.  I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong.  I ate some salmon last night--more to get the protein in than because I was hungry.  I couldn't get it all down and got the foamies.  I hadn't planned my eating well and lost track of time for both the meals and the water.  After going to bed, I was uncomfortable and knew it was more than just foamies coming up.  I thought Flintstones were nasty going down!  They are a lot worse coming back up.  I am keeping better track today, so we'll see how the salmon goes.  I may need to turn it into salmon cakes.

The was a tough weekend--both ups and downs.  My eating was fine; stayed with the plan.  But my sense of success was varied.  Friday night I went to Catherine's to pick out clothes to model (in order to get the discount--not because I think I'd make a good model) and struggled with the pants.  I have always been "hippy" and carried a lot of weight in my legs, but I couldn't even get my legs into most pants.  Even sizes that were huge around the hips were cut too narrow for my legs.  I rarely look at them straight on in the mirror so am always shocked by how horrid they look.  There must be elephants with smaller legs than that!  So while I can delude myself into feeling good about how I'm getting into smaller tops and looking good, my legs are reminding me of that "Jabba the Hut" look. 

But then on Sunday, my regular weigh-in day, I lost another 5.2 lbs.  I am now down 33.69% of my excess body weight.  I feel good about what I've done so far, but am so very aware of how much more I need to do.  Whoever says WLS is an "easy way out" is uniformed at best.

I had a drop in energy this past month and don't know if it is just my body adjusting, not eating enough, not drinking enough, vitamin deficiency, or just not enough sleep.  I've upped my calories to closer to 800 (instead of the 650 average), and am trying to get more sleep.  I like having more time in the morning, but I think I need that extra 30 min. of sleep.  I'll also ask the doctor about having the blood tests for the April appointment.  I wonder if I could get away with a 15 min. power nap at work!

I'm keeping my exercise goals down to the bike 5 days a week and the gym 3 days a week.  That way I don't feel like they are "punishment."  I read others do more and feel like I should too, but I've got years to get up to that.  I will try to add on some new exercises at the gym to get me up time-wise.  But I still struggle with the shoulder presses--what a wimp!

Depending on when PMS rears its ugly head, I'm still on track to reach my April 20th goal of 100 lbs. lost.

I tried to add photo, but it doesn't look like it is working.  I guess I will have to wait until OH does it. 

Things are still going fine and I can tell my clothes fit differently.  I look forward to being down into sizes I haven't been before.  I think that contributes some to the worry about the weight loss speed.  I know overweight women tend to not wear clothes the same way average women do--we tend to go either too big or too tight--and that makes changes in sizes hard to go by.  That is especially true at the "supersize" end like me.  I've agreed to do an hour of "modeling" at the Catherines here because I want the discount to get some bras and support briefs!  I know their basic pants will be on sale as well plus the discount.  And, of course, I have the sizes too big and the sizes too small but not the size I need now.  I don't like needing to spend the money, but I do have to have a professional look.  But it will be fun being on the other side of the counter--I worked for Catherines for 10 years.  Now that is a place wher you hear about every diet and weight loss program. 

 
I'm still pretty much eating just protein as that fills me up.  I take a bit longer to eat than perhaps I should (45-60 min.) but it takes me that long to chew through 3 oz. of protein.  I'm still around 600 to 700 calories and 70 grams of protein.  I have tried using the Power Crunch bars for breakfast.  It is just so difficult eating real food at that time.  But I am going to watch how my body responds because I don't think it liked all the soy protein I was using before. 

 
I now have the yarn for a grey mohair turtleneck, a mint green bamboo yarn summer sweater, and a camel alpaca and silk yarn sweater set--plus about a half dozen pairs of socks!  I need to quit buying yarn and put my spending on a diet--but this gives me plenty to work on to stay busy.  I am so glad I do not feel hungry and hope this lasts a good long time, but I want to be prepared for when the munchies return. 

 
And soon the weather will be nice enough for the Miata, so I need to get it cleaned up and new tires on it.  I think I have lost enough to be about where I was when I bought it.  Still too big, but at least I could fit behind the wheel.  Now I'll have to train Spenser to like it.  I've registered for the OH seminar in Hudson, WI in June, so I should be able to drive it up there.  What fun it is to start making plans again and not be ashamed.  I know that when people who don't know me see me all they see is this huge woman.  But I know that I am smaller and doing the things that will make me healthy. 

I'm still going to the gym--about five times a week--and trying to ignore how bad a shape I'm in.  I used to be ashamed of going into a restuarant to eat because of my size.  I refuse to let shame stop me from doing what is actually good for me.  I only do 10-15 min. of bike for warmup and then three weight exercises, but that brings my daily total up to about 50 min.  And I don't want to over do it. 

I have six more weeks until my next appointment with the surgeon (I wonder why it is at the 5 month rather than 6 month mark?) and hope to be down at least 20 more pounds.  That would put me under 300 and at having lost 100. 

I've gone to the gym now four times--twice this weekend even.  It's a small gym so there is rarely anyone there.  I'm not doing that much--I'm not able to do that much--so a big part of the process is just going.  But it does take my exercise time up to about 45 min. a day.  I'm just going for the gradual increase.  I look forward to being able to do the shoulder presses without wobbling arms!

I lost 3 lbs. this past week which doesn't seem like a lot for all the effort I feel like I'm putting into it.  I think part of it is that I have lost down this much--and a bit more--before.  I still have clothes I need to lose weight to get into.  So it doesn't seem all that exciting--until I compare how short a time it has taken me.  But I didn't feel like I had lost much despite increasing the exercise.  It always makes me wonder about what I am doing--am I eating enough, exercising enough, drinking enough???  I feel like the I am a slow loser and worry about the post-six month slowdown.  If it is going this slow now, what will it be like in a couple of months? But I need to focus on the positives--consistent behavior and choices--instead of just the weight.  It will happen.

Oh, and I did try the TCBY sugar-free frozen yogurt.  (The shop is just down from the gym!)  I wasn't sure how my stomach would take it, but it was fine.  I just got the kiddie cup, and that was fine.  It was my first real treat thing that I have tried.  It will be a nice treat come summer.

Well, I joined a gym yesterday to help me do some upperbody exercise.  I still do my biking regularly (30 min. five days a week) but wanted to get some strength work in to add variety and time to my efforts.  I start this afternoon after work.  The trainer doesn't have any particular expertise with obese clients, but he does at least seem to understand limitations and the desire not to hurt myself! 

I've started trying protein bars for breakfast as that is the meal I constantly struggle with.  Most I cut in half due to the calories and the heaviness in the gut.  They are very convenient, so I hope they don't hinder the weight loss.  I am still avoiding soy.  I am both very pleased with my weight loss but still wish it were faster so I could reach my goal faster!  I worry that after the six months things will slow down too much.  I have so much to lose and I really want to reach my surgeon's goal by the eighteen month mark.

I've sent a before picture in for the profile, but it hasn't been added yet.  I guess it just takes time--like all things related to weight loss!

I keep meaning to update my profile but can't remember my login and password!  So far this month has gone well--am now down 75 lbs.  I hope to have lost half of my goal by 6 months out but I'm trying not to have fixed goals as I don't seem to have a lot of control over how fast or when the weight comes off.  I am sticking with doing the right things--watching the protein and calories, drinking the water, and exercising--as my goals. 

I am starting to feel more desire for food--not sure if it is actual hunger yet.  And I can generally eat a bit more but less than a cup.  I'm discovering all sorts of stews, which make reheating the meat much easier.  But I am still pretty much protein only with one serving of crackers a day.  I do get in a few cooked veggies ever now and then, but once I do the protein, I'm pretty much done.  I have found Proteica--a protein supplement that I can get down.  I bought some for "backup" on those days when I just can't deal with reaching 70 grams.  It's only 3 oz. but 25 grams of protein and 100 calories.  I need to find a Whole Foods grocery store to get some Jay Robb supplements as well--the other protein drink I can handle.  I'm looking forward to going to Chicago in May so will need some options just in case.

I have taken up my knitting again to keep the hands and mind busy at night.  I try new and difficult patterns so I don't want to stop and loose my count just to get something to snack on!  (The knitters diet.)  I have just finished (the knitting part at least) my sweater (peacock blue alpaca) but need to do the blocking and find the perfect buttons.  I am now finishing my first pair of socks--great fun--and have bought yarn for serveral more pairs.  I think I am spending as much or more money on yarn as I ever did on junk food!  I'm guessing on sweater sizes as I don't know what size I'll wind up.  I guess I will just have to lose down to where I can fit them!

I am still in sizes I have lost down to before so am looking forward to getting into the smallest sizes I own.  I don't want to buy any clothes until then.  I will probably need to get a few tops for spring/summer, but otherwise should be okay.  Such a lovely problem to have--as I know I'll be able to find the smaller sizes--instead of last year when I struggled to find ever larger sizes. 

I think the big difference for me between the surgery driven weight loss and previous losses is that I now have hope that 1) I will continue beyond previous losses and 2) it will stay off.  I so look forward to being off the yo-yo ride.

Man, I wish I had done this years ago!