Sara M.

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WEEK 1                 The day of my surgery has gone just as quickly it came, yet with much more force and left my body with permanent alterations. I am still adjusting to these changes, learning how to eat, and being active. The biggest surprise for me was how much pain I was in when I woke up from the anesthesia. But first, these are the details accounting getting ready for the surgery and my thoughts and reactions upon arriving to the operating room.                 Mu aunt didn’t want to begin traveling at 2 a.m. to get to Cleveland Clinic so she suggested we stay the night at the guesthouse. Luckily we were able to add Wednesday night onto our reservation with such short notice. I did get a little bit of sleep before the surgery, much to my surprise. I woke up at 3:30 a.m. and we left by 4:30 to get to the surgical building. The one way streets made it tricky. There were already some people in line at the P20 desk when I arrived. When it was my turn, they gave us a pager and some paperwork. I listened to relaxation music and sat and talked to Ryan. At 5:30 a.m. they called me back to the pre-op room to get me ready for surgery. I wasn’t overly nervous but it did rise when we were called back to the room. Ryan was told he could go with me but they were told they had leave the room (Judy and Ryan). It took more than 30 minutes for me to take a pregnancy test, check my blood sugar, change my clothes, and answer all the questions she asked me. The nurse gave me a special wrist band that said allergy in addition to the regular one that had my name and a barcode on it. Until the nurses came to put my IV in, my family was allowed to come back with me in the pre-op room. They put my IV in and talked to me a little bit and then let my family come back to say goodbye to me. Ryan gave me a few kisses and I told him I would see him after a while. There were no tears until I was getting ready to get wheeled back. The surgeon stopped the transporter and asked for a few minutes with me. He, the surgeon, looked at me in the eyes and told me everything would be fine and that I would do great and told me that someone would tell my family when I was out of surgery. I was overwhelmed by his kindness to the extent that I had peace over the situation. No more worries: I was going to be okay.                 I had to wait outside of the waiting room for around 30 minutes they said because the nurses and anesthesiologists were getting the room ready. I wasn’t excessively nervous; I was at total peace. I sat there thinking peaceful thoughts, said a few words to God, and watching every time the OR door opened. The nurse talked to me about what to expect and the resident for anesthesiology said the medication to relax me would be given closer to when the surgery began. I did see him inject something into my IV but I’ll never know for sure what it was. Since I didn’t go right out, I’ll assume it was anxiety medication because I was starting to get anxious when they were putting the mask on me but I immediately calmed down. I was fighting them to go under, meaning I wasn’t taking deep enough breaths and I was straining to keep my eyes awake. Before long however, all the voices, sounds, and sights were gone. That is until I heard my name being called and felt like a semi-truck was sitting on me! I was really shocked that they woke me up in the operating room. I guess they wanted to know how easy it would be. The only thing I remember after that was them sliding me over to the bed which was going to the recovery floor.  The next time I opened my eyes was between 30 and 60 minutes later and the nurse was saying how well I was doing. It took a long time but she let my family come back until she had another patient to put next to me. I got out of surgery at 10 a.m. Ryan said and I got to my room at 2 p.m. There was so much waiting!                

Surgery is scheduled for March 24th and I have known for a few weeks now. Alot has been going through my mind, to be perfectly honest. I even went through a deep depression and gained 11 lbs since last month. I have completely changed my outlook and am working to gain my eating habits back. I am ready to change and this is a wonderful opportunity that is in front of me. I am dealing with worries about the procedure itself and the hospital stay because i do not like being poked and proded but i have my eye on the prize. My life is ahead of me and I trust that God will take care of me.

It has been a long time since I wrote last. So much has happened and changed within me. I have lost a bunch of weight. I am close to 70 lbs lost all on my own since June. My primary doctor says it's because of the meds he is giving me for my thyroid and my old shrink said its the new meds he is giving me. No one seemed to want to give me any credit for changing so much about my life. I exercise, eat protein, drink water, eat smaller portions and don't graze. I still struggle with some things and that is to be expected i guess. I am only human but i can't use it as an excuse for living my life however i please. i have a family that i need to take care of. I am thrilled and blessed to have taken this journey and have had a wonderful staff at cleveland clinic and my husband and daughter are learning to support me as well. I am down another pants size even though it is tight. from a 34 to a 26 now. my daughter ran and hugged me and told me good job mommy. it made my day. the one problem i am having as we go for insurance approval in one and a half weeks is that i am trying to get everything done i ever wanted to and am having some anxiety over the surgery itself because of fear of the unknown. i will be dealing with this on my own, with my friends, and with my counselor. i am not as worried as i was because i know i am in good hands. this is not the end of my journey but rather almost 9 months into it with the new start of my life around the corner.

i measured myself today and i've lost more inches. 3 in my hips, 3 in my calf, and 2 in my thigh. 8 inches total! i wonder how many inches ive lost total since ive started this journey. id have to dig through OH to find out. i am excited at the weight loss but desperately want to loose 1 more lb so i can be at 30 lbs even. the scale was weird yesterday i was actually 4 lbs heavier which is the weight i got 1 time, and then 3 times i got less. maybe thats why u arent supposed to weigh after a workout. i dunno. either way its awesome. its almost 7 weeks since i started following directions. i think. let me count again. yep, 7. i have about a month until i go back to cleveland clinic. but ive decided to see if i can start weighing in at my drs office and getting him to document it how he needs to. i have some other apts i need to go to in aug, sept, and october though so as long as insurance doesnt get cut i will keep the appointments. Ryan has interview #2 for O'charleys today with the big boss. I am praying, hoping. lucking, you name it that he gets this job. I want to move so badly and i think we even have an apartment if he gets the job. but if he doesn't, we don't. i am hoping he can find out today. most of my jobs called me days or weeks later, but they are in immediate need of help so i dont see why they wouldn't ask him about coming in and training etc if he was hired. i am going to stay in a prayerful mind all day and see if that helps. at least i'll be calm. him sayin they'll call him doesn't mean they wont hire him is how i have to try to approach it. I don't know. All the fast food jobs i ever had i knew at the interview i think. i cant think too hard class bothered me yesterday. passing computers isn't going to be easy. but this is supposed to be about weight. I'm so excited to be loosing weight. I was hungry last night and had 1/2 a peanut butter sandwhich in the middle of the night. i dont normally do things like that. wow. i think i am going to try doing a week of a liquid diet when we get our food stamps. i know its probably not healthy but i'd like to see if i loose any weight and if i can do it. i dunno though because we have a cookout coming up too. a week seems like too much. maybe if i just replace breakfast and lunch for the month. that sounds like a plan. i dunno. i cant seem to eat the 1400 calories she wants me to. (the nut). i hate to loose her advice by switching to my family dr or ruin insurance stuff but its closer and i can be weighed on the scale now. lots on my mind today. i need to eat breakfast and take my meds. and do dishes. guess i better get moving. another busy day in the works i guess. next week is so busy i wont have time for much of anything and im not sure how thats going to work. but i am so blessed to be loosing weight and inches!!!!!!!!

normally i weigh on tuesday and saturday but i think i weighed on sunday this time. i dont remember. but i got on the scale after my workout and shower at the normal time i weigh - 10 am. and it said 331!!! but my scale is 5 lbs off the hospitals so it really means 326!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just go my their scale because that's what we'll be going by for surgery. but that means i was 333 on sunday so ive lost alot more weight since then. i am in shock. i dont believe it. i got on the scale at 2 different times, like 4 times and it said the same thing everytime but the first time when i wasnt standing on it right. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 33 lbs lost since the 2nd week of June. this is a miracle. some of my pants still don't fit but this is so insane and i am so grateful. 7 more months until we submit for insurance approval. what's going to happen between now and then, i have no clue!!! 
i hope i dont bring anyone down but i didnt know where else to share this. i am so excited and yet confused. i have no idea what i am doing except what u've all told me and what they've told me. i dont think ive been getting all the water in exactly either. close maybe 48 oz but not 64.

I am really confused right now. I am the person who wants to know the WHY of something. ive been that way since mom died 10 years ago this Setpember. I have a kitten sitting on my shoulder. well he left now. anyways, i am down 6 lbs since Monday. i know that's amazing and all but i want to know why. lol. i am trying to eat 1400 calories like they want and not snack on anything over 100 calories. but i havent been able to exercise much this week because we had to send the big tv back to the rental store and ryan hasnt hooked up the dvd player to the little tv yet. he wanted me to use his computer to play it knowing theres no room to exercise by the computers. i just might have to unhook it and move it if he doesnt do anything about the dvd player today. i get sick of the procrastination with him but i do it too just not as bad. anyways i am so excited to be under my presurgery goal weight by 1 lb and i have 7 more months to loose weight. I am hoping to get to 299 before surgery. I would be SOO happy! i am sitting here drinking my water trying to chase the kitten away (he likes to walk on my keyboard). I just wanted to share this accomplishment with you all. I always thought though that anger and depression would keep you from loosing weight but its not hurting me. im trying to just get over it but i needed to make sure it wasnt hurting my weight so i got on the scale today.

theres only one day that i didnt exercise in the last 3 weeks. granted lately ive been having to force myself to exercise. i had carnation instant breakfast for breakfast and lunch and french toast with fruit and carrots for dinner. then i exercised after i thought my stomach was settled but it hurts now. i did my husbands taebo tape, an easier one and i have never sweated so much in a long time. i gave up about 5-7 minutes before they started stretching. i was so close. why does your weight go up directly after a workout but my husband's comes down? i dont get it. after 2 liquid meals i was back down to 348 but now its saying 353 but i dont believe it. ryan really needs to hide the scale on me. i go to the hospital on monday the 12th for my nut appointment.

i don't know if the scale is still broken, but it dried and is reading weights and we changed the batteries. ryans weight is accurate and so is gabby's but mine..... it's reading 344. i havent been 344 in a year!!! so i have officially lost 20 lbs in my little over two week journey of taking this weight loss stuff seriously. i take vitamins daily (one a day gummies), drink at least a few protein shakes - carnation instant breakfast - a week, drink 4 bottles of water (one with each meal and one for a snack), and im trying to lower my carbs and up my protein and cut out my fats. no more fried foods for the most part. trying to eat smaller portions. i am eating on a salad plate at dinner and not taking seconds unless they are vegetables. sometimes i dont even eat a snack at bedtime or at all but if i do its healthy low cal stuff. next month we're switching to whole grains and brown rice but i wont give up wheat bread of 2 percent milk! i need to up my dairy but i will wait and see what cleveland clinic says about that first. i also eat btwn 1200 and 1500 calories a day and do either a fat blasting 15 minute work out dvd or a 30 minute 2 mile walk dvd. daily. i think i am ready to try my 3 2 1 workout again. it was hard for me because it was kind of intense and made me tired quick. we'll see what happens today. plus i am going to try on my old jeans today that i havent fit all year and i know they should fit. if not i wont be upset because i am doing so awesome. this is so exciting. i wonder how much weight i can loose, and what would be acceptable in order to not get surgery. im afraid to get it done over 100 or 125 lbs excess. but i'd love to be 190/ 200 again any day. just not sure if its worth the risk. any thoughts?