SandySue777
I think my story starts like most stories. I was born a healthy 7 pounds and 3 ounces and from there it went down hill. 
Just Kidding, but seriously I think weight has been an issue for me my entire life. I was always a little chunkier than other kids my age, or so I thought at the time. I started in a private school and jumped ahead very quickly and actually skipped a grade, putting me a year and half younger than most of my class mates. I was the same size as the kids in my class. It didn't get my attention until I started taking dance, jazz, ballet, etc., and I somehow ended up in a class of kids younger than me. Great, now I looked like an amazon compared to them. Everyone in my family was a stick and worried that I was putting on too much weight. What started that - my eyes were bigger than my stomach. In my family, you learned quickly about the starving children in China, and cleaning your plate was the only option. That used to drive my mother crazy, but what was she to do while she was away working during our weekday meals. I learned to be a big eater early on. By the time I reached high school I got a better handle on my weight, but with all of the anorexic cheerleaders running around, how were you supposed to get a handle on what is realistic??!! I went all through high school thinking I was a fat pig at 140-150 pounds. I'm tall and actually carried it well, but if your hip and rib bones didn't show through your clothes - well, you were FAT! When I look back at pictures of me in high school I know now that there was nothing wrong with my size. If I could have accepted that then I think my issues with weight control would have improved greatly. I gradutated high school and after a few years married my 'ex' husband. My weight yo-yo'd, but never got too far out of control. Then shortly after that - I had a near fatal car accident and that changed everything. I broke my neck, lost my left arm, punctured a lung, the list goes on and on.... needless to say I was down for the count for quite some time. I was in so much pain, breathing was a chore, much less getting up and walking around. I was fed liquid fat and calcium through a tube and from there the ballooning began! During this Hell in my life my husband walked out on me and that just fueled my desire to eat. It masked the pain, fed my emotions, and never, ever even once talked back. Eureka - I found my new best friend! I steadily put on 10 pounds a year for the next 18-20 years. I won't even bore you with the number of diets, appetite killer pills, and equipment that I tried all in an effort to lose the weight. I would lose a few pounds, get a craving, and gain back what I lost, plus a few of their friends. It was ridiculous.
In 1996 I got my first wake up call. Lose weight or you risk contracting diabetes. Did I listen?? For about a month. Then right back to old habits. Well true to my Dr.'s word, I contracted diabetes within the next year. She gave me all of the long term complications and risks associated with diabetes, and for the most part it was enough to scare me 50% of the time. The other 50% of the time I was using my non-diabetic brain and helped myself to potato chips, cookies, JUNK! 10 years later I am taking insulin on a sliding scale, 2 Byetta injections, and 11 pills a day. All for diabetes related complications. Jeez Louise!
The sad part about all of this is that I am in a management position and it is getting harder and harder to find nice clothes that fit and look nice. I'm hot all of the time so everything I buy is thin and looks to casual. When I have to travel I pray that it never rears its head in the summer months, but it always does, because I can't talk anyone into travelling in Dec. I have been very lucky to work for a company that promotes on your merit rather than your looks, but this is a society of first impressions. I want my clients to have a good first impression. It's bad enough that I walk in with my left arm missing up past the elbow, but being fat on top of it is awful. Then if it was too hot, which it always was, I would start sweating immediately. Nerve damage played a huge roll in that, but I'm sure the weight holding in the heat didn't help matters. I want people to see me, not my shortcomings, or my bad eating habits. There are some people that have true health reasons as to why they can not lose weight... I am not one of those. I also never tried to say that I only ate two carrot sticks a day and can't imagine for the life of me why I can't lose weight. I just needed to back away from the snack food and fast food. I used the excuse that I was busy and it was easy. Well, look where that got me!
A few months ago I had another scare. I pulled into the parking area at work and proceeded to walk across the street and up the hill to my building. My chest started pounding and I couldn't catch my breath after 10 steps. I thought I was going to roll over and die of a heart attack in the middle of the street. What a way to die! I finally made it to my office. I had to go to a managers meeting and my fellow managers knew immediately that something was wrong. I ended up being taken to Baptist Hospital and spent the next three days going through every test under the sun and being poked by 20 needles. I was fed up. My PCP came to visit every day. On the last day she told me what happened. My pancreas just decided it needed a break and my blood sugar went off the chart. That is what caused my symptoms. We had casually discussed the gastric bypass over the last few years, and I even went to a seminar with Dr. Husted, but at the time felt it was just too drastic and decided against the procedure. My first big mistake. But after the last stint in the hospital I looked at my Dr. after hearing the diagnosis and said "What do I have to do to get the bypass? I'm ready". From there we started the process.
I called my insurance company (BC/BS) and they gave me a list of 25 things that had to be done prior to even thinking about approving such an expensive procedure. I did all of the things on the list as fast as I could, met with the psychologist (requirement), met with Dr. Spaw ( bariatric surgeon), and the nutrionist. It took about a month to do everything due to the hours I put in at work. Once I turned everything in to Dr. Spaw's staff, I had my approval in less than a week. We were ready to schedule. I already had a trip planned to Ireland in October 2007 and I didn't want to cancel the trip or miss out on tasty Irish Stew so we planned the next available date in Dec. 2007. I made it through Thanksgiving - that was my last supper so to speak. The following Sunday I started my 2 week liquid fast. In the middle of my fasting I made 250 cookies that I had promised my staff earlier that year. That was a true test!! But I made it through the cookies.
I was so hungry by the time my surgery date rolled around that I was looking forward to having my stomach reduced so it would quit growling. I went in at 5 am, cruised into pre-op, gave my sister a crash course on my laptop and Treo so she could send out updates to friends, co-workers, and family, and within a short period of time I was given my feel good cocktail and rolled into the surgery suite. The next thing I know I am waking up in my room and I feel like I was hit head on by a train.... with a cow pusher! By late that night the good stuff wore off and I was wide awake hitting the button on the pain pump every twenty minutes. If I fell asleep and went over my time frame I felt cheated! Ha. I was really sore. The air they pump in your stomach cavity feels like lead. I also had air trapped in my old stomach that caused a lot of pain, but at the time the staff just thought it was the air that was pumped in. They said it could take a week to work out of the body. GREAT!!
My surgery was on Monday morning and by Wednesday I was ready to get out of there and go home. Dr. Spaw was so pleased with how well I was doing that he released me. After 10 days of drop you to your knees pain in my stomach area I went in to see Dr. Spaw. After I explained my symptoms he knew exactly what it was. The trapped air in my old stomach. He gave me a prescription to take for a few weeks and I was good as new. I do not even feel like I had surgery at this point. The only evidence I have to prove I had the surgery are the 6 tiny little scars on my tummy, which have all but healed and started to fade.
I am 24 days post-op today. The only issue I have right now is mild anxiety at meal times. It was really bad last week and erlier this week, but it has gotten better over the last few days. I think more than anything I was stressing over eating the right thing, making the right portion size, wasting food (that was food abuse in my old vocabulary), getting in enough water etc. etc. I just resolved myself to the fact that I am doing the best I can, I am improving every day on the water intake, the food will just come later. I get enough protein by drinking Isopure Water and Whey protein shakes in between the bites of food that I eat. I ordered meals from Bariatric Choice to help with portion size. They are also packed with protein. That reduced a lot of my stress.
To end my story I know that I can honestly say that I did the right thing for me. My diabetes is gone. The only pills I take are : Flinstone chewables, calcium, iron, and pepcid. I think I can live with that. I realize that I am very blessed to be where I am in my life. I have a great husband that I married 7 years ago. I have a great family that is always there no matter what. I have a sister that I don't see very much, but earlier this year we started working harder at staying in touch and regrowing our bond. I have a lot of people who care about me. My husband and I went on our dream vacation to Ireland in Oct 2007 and we tromped all over the country. I have made contact just this year with several cousins and other family members that I have not talked to or seen for as many as twenty or twenty five years, one in particular I don't think I had ever met. I have a great job and I am fortunate enough to manage several different departments and I have a great staff. I also work with a team of great managers who have given me a lot of support not only through my surgery, but over the years. I have been forunate to work for some great leaders and mentors. Last but not least by any means, I have another sister... the greatest sister who has been there with me through thick and thin (no pun intended -Ha) and I don't know what I would do without her. She is my biggest fan... and that makes her my ANGEL!! I love you Lindy Lou!!
So that is my story in a very tiny nutshell. As things change over the months I am sure that my blogs will help you to get to know my story even better. Instead of dwelling on the past... I am running towards the future. I get to celebrate two birthdays now. My actual birthdate and my rebirth date. I'll be celebrating that in Dec 2008. Don't miss it! :)
Talk to you soon...
Sandy Sue
