Ring Around the Rosie

May 06, 2016

It's funny to look back to my last post and think about what my life was like before I went on one of the biggest life changes of my life, right after I lost the weight. When I posted my last blog, I was "happily" married, had a humble home, a comfortable job, and was excited to be getting my body back after two babies (who were and still are my life.) I also came off birth control right around that same period of time, which I felt lifted a fog from my life and allowed me to experience life, love, and happiness in a whole new way that I had forgotten even existed. Perhaps that's what gave me the thirst for something more than what I had been living for so long. Whatever the case, I found myself in an intense whirlwind of drama, separated on and off from my husband, seeing someone else and throwing my life into a tailspin. In the midst of it all, I felt called to move away. Before I left, I traveled to Amsterdam and had the most exciting time of my life. I fell in love with that twisted little city and left my heart there when I had to leave. When I came back, I found the house of my dreams in the mountains, and I got it almost like it was destiny. However, just a few months after I moved in, I experienced a house fire and had to move into a small apartment pending repairs that took 3 months. My entire life was unrecognizable. Through a series of events that led to the decay of the relationship I had formed with my someone new, that relationship quickly took a downward turn and before long, we were separated multiple times, during one of which times, I rebounded into a strange relationship that eventually resulted in my becoming pregnant unexpectedly. So, in a year, I separated from my husband, experienced a toxic relationship, went to Europe, moved to a new place, got a new house, a new job, moved out and then back into my new house, and found myself pregnant by someone with whom I had no intentions of spending the rest of my life. By last summer, I was divorced, single, pregnant and I had two crazy boys to raise. To add complexity to everything else, I was still in love with the man that first charmed my heart, but pregnant with a child that was not his nor my ex-husband's, and the pregnancy was high-risk and very complicated. I was put on a high dose of Prednisone for most of my pregnancy and gained more weight than with either of my two pregnancies combined. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was probably around 160-170 lbs.  By the time I delivered last November, I was 205. Now, I'm 194, no longer breast feeding, and dying to get rid of the weight. I am now back to where I started the last time I wanted to lose weight. I can only hope I will see quick results like I did last time and stay motivated to get back to where I was. My reward to myself will be another trip to Amsterdam next year. My heart flutters just thinking about it <3

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