scottseibert68
I've almost always been overweight. Old home movies of me as an infant and toddler have me just a round, pudgy ball running around the yard. I leveled out a bit in early school years, but we moved when I was 12 and I went off the deep end at that time. My diet consisted of Chunky chocolate bars, Mac and cheese and hotdogs. About this time my older brother(who is currently 6'2" and 175lbs) started calling me FB (fat boy). I was about 150lbs at 13 or 14 but only about 5'0 or less at the time. Then I started growing and pretty much maintained that weight through High School. I have usually kept active with sports (baseball, basketball, Tae Kwon Do, swimming, weight lifting, etc.)
After HS I had no focus on what to do so I partied and paid zero attention to what I ate or drank or pretty much anything. After a few years of this, I sobered up. After putting down the beer I lost about 10 lbs right away, but then began gaining it back slowly. I remember wanting to be 200lbs, but I wanted it to be muscle. That didn't work out so well. It didn't bother me for a long time. I didn't see myself as fat. I was strong and limber and could keep active. By the time I was 25 I was up to about 220, then 230, then when I was 29 I lost about 40 lbs by running with a friend and restricting my eating a lot. I lost the weight pretty quickly and signed up for a triathlon and did it finishing strong. After the triathlon, I began gaining weight again. It took about 2 years to get back to 200, but I got there, but not on purpose.
Since then it's been a steady gain. I've had a few moments of weight loss, but as soon as something got in the way I would gain the weight back.
I married in 2005. I weighed about 220 at the time. Today I'm 312 lbs and I cannot lose it.
I came to bariatric surgery after we moved home from a year in China. I thought I could come home and do My Fitness Pal and lose weight again, but I haven't been able. I gained weight in China and continued when we returned home.
I haven't worked in a while. This was a mutual decision between myself and my wife. She is the breadwinner so I've taken care of the kids and the houses for the last 14 years. I would like to get more done around the house and possibly enter the workforce again but feel unable because of low energy and just embarrassment from being so fat.
I've hated myself for a long time. I try not to look in the mirror and pictures of me are disgusting. I don't know how my wife still looks at me and desires me. My kids have done several things that I cannot participate in because of my weight. They are 14 and 12 and I still have opportunities to do things with them, which is part of my motivation. Mostly I'm tired of looking at myself with disdain and I'm tired of walking up and down stairs and ending up winded.
That brings me to today. I've consulted with a surgeon and the dietician and physiologist. I've had a few phone calls with the insurance company for their WLS requirements. I'm on the road. I don't have a date yet but I hope to have one soon. I'm finding it difficult to lose weight before the surgery. Much more difficult than in the past. I don't know why. Except that I've given up with 'programs' I am hopeful that WLS will get me to my goal.