scrubsgirl

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Here are some pictures of me before I have this surgery  this is hopefully going to be the last pictures I take as I go to the surgeon  tomorow to be scheduled they are looking at the week of the 27th of October as  that is the date I will clear with health Partners insurance for surgery I am getting so excited I cant wait to take this nect step in my life as a healthier happier me it has been a long time coming .I also have my last dietary and therapist session  tomorow for this i am "EXCITED" its been a long journey to this point and will be a long journey afterwards but one I am so ready to take.I want to live and be free of this weight that is wearing me down :)

Well here it is september 30th 2014 and I am finally doing what I set out to do in 2009. I had to reach my total rock bottom before I could change my whole life.I have been working with sandford weight loss center for 3 months now and am going on the 3rd of october for my final dietary and phsyc visits as well as my surgeon visit then 2 more counseling sessions with my insurance health partners and I am clear for surgery as of October 28th 2014. I am really getting excited and nervous about it, but am determined to do this.I think the hardest hurdle has been giving up smoking, have had to go on chantix with help for that and a lot of prayer and faith. After 29 years of smoking its been the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I will never go back only forward cause I want my life back.A life without being a shut in my house in a powerchair, and o2 afraid to go out cause everyone stares. I want to go camping and go out places with my husband and live the life I should have at 46, not what Ive created for myself in this house.I live in Roseau Minnesota and really want to experience everything there is to do in area,and out of my area.I also want to see my grandchildren grow up,and I have to be healthy to do that.My bmi right now is 72 and I am miserable everyday.I don't sleep well cause of the apnea,dont move around well cause my knees and joints cant carry my weight,never comfortable with the lymphadema in my legs swelling to tree size proportions,plus the diabetes type 2 ,and the skin fold infections cause it never gets to breath.All of thee things will be gone if I get healthy and my life can move on it will be a something I never take for granted again not one day.

I am finding waiting is so hard I am down to my last few dieticion visits and they have my test results and I find myself getting more and more anxious and impatient to have my wls.I am a bit scared about it too I mean ive never been a patient person so this is hard anyway and add on all the life chages i have made for my chance at having a healthy life this is the hardest thing ive ever done but its all worth it not to have to live the way i have lived anymore this is probably the first thing i have ever truly done for me.I want to be healthy and happy for me and that is probably the hardest statement ive ever made because for years well since i can remember ive always put someone else before me from my husband to my kids and now i am seperated from my husband and my kids are grown and i have spent alot of time taking a good look at me.I want a quality life and just quantity and i cant have that with the body i have.I am tired of failing at diets and only getting larger I am well on my way to 500 pounds and dont want to pass away like my uncle eldon did he was 750 pounds when he passed,and alot of people never got to see what a great person he was cause they never got passed what he looked like on the outside.I feel like that too everytime i go somewhere ever a doctors appointment and i dont fit in the waiting room chairs i dont get to go to movies anymore cause i dont fit in those chairs either and i feel really bad about myself when i have to sit upfront at walmart and wait for an electric cart  at 40 years old because i cant walk thru walmart without really really bad back pain and knee pain and i dont fit in standard wheelchairs.I know i am probably babling but i just need to vent tonight.I want to walk thru walmart heck i want to walk period without pain I also want my feet and legs to stop swelling to the point they look like they are going to burst,and I want to live life without the use of my cpap.I want a quality life and i want to live a long life and i know that is not going to happen unless i get my weight under control and live a healthy life.

Well last week I had my breathing test my fev was 94 out of 100 so that went great.and they have put me on a c-pap after my sleep study.I went to the surgeon on the 20th and that went great so now he has scheduled me a phsyc eval for the 16th of april and after 3 more dietition visits he says he can procede with my wls surgery i can t wait i am getting more and more excited as it gets closer.

ok  I have 3 more dieticion appointments to go and i get to be scheduled for my wls I cant wait i just want to get it done and start my new life