And so it begins....
Mar 03, 2019
Surgery Date: June 11, 2019 - 11 a.m.
So ready to move on, to start this new journey. This is the second time around going through the process (not following through the surgery during the first journey)- and for the second time, have the two hour nutrition course still to come (April 15). But mentally, and emotionally, I'm there- ready to make the changes that need to be made, say goodbye to a lifestyle that has brought me to the brink of despair. The reality is I'm miserable the way I am now. My life is one of existence and disappointment, not one of enjoyment and goals met.
I'm not sure how others feel, whether they, like me, feel as if we live a half-life. I think of things that once I dreamed of - travelling, hiking, exploring new vistas... to simple things, jumping on my bike, heading out to pick up a few groceries, cycling downtown to grab a coffee.. those are beyond me at the size I am now.
I am trapped in this body - I feel myself deep inside, yearning to escape the clinging folds which envelop and smother me and oddly, I feel excited about the radical journey which starts after the even more radical reorientation of the unseen under the skin changes. It's time. I'm ready to do it. To make the changes. To say goodbye to things that once gave me the fleeting simulation of pleasure, to choices that created the prison I now inhabit.