Kat Kat

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Wow! Time sure flies. There is so much to say, so much I've accomplished, but for now, I'm simply stating that my user name has changed from SexyKat to Kat Kat.

Yesterday I shopped for new clothes at a store where they sell shoes too. I picked up a the cutest pair of strappy sandals which were totally out of character for me. They are white, and gold with about a 1" heels, and have peach stones on them. Basically I'm a Panama Jack flip flop wearer who gravitates between Crocs, a sensible pair of Clark's, and Cowgirl boots when they used to fit over my calves. When I left the store laden down with my new purchases I must have overlooked grabbing the box they were in, because when I got home, no sandals. This morning I went back with my receipt to get them. While I was waiting in line, a large woman who was about the size I was when I had WLS was sitting on the stool people use to try on shoes while her friend shopped around. When I was leaving, the woman, and her friend had made it out to the parking lot, and she was struggling to keep up the pace. She was breathing heavily as she tried to catch up. I felt such a sadness envelope me for this poor struggling woman. I wanted so badly to cry for her at that moment. I got in my car, bowed my head, and let this sadness wash over me, and then it switched to a profound grief. Suddenly with perfect clarity, I realized I was sad for myself, and all I had suffered by being Super Morbidly Obese. It was me who would find any place available to sit, and take a load off my over burdened feet. It was me who struggled to participate in  life, but struggled to keep up.  I stayed in that moment and let the sadness reach it's crescendo, and then the tide of grief ebbed away and left me grateful for where I was, and where I am headed.

Wow, I'll be 11 months out in 4 days, and life sure has improved. The Non Scale Victory's (NSV) seem almost too numerous to count. I can cross my legs, seat belts don't strangle me, my steering wheel doesn't rub my belly (now it's adjusted just as I like it, not for optimal space). I can fit in the tub comfortably to take a candlelight bubble bath without creating a dam between me, and the front and back of the tub. I can stand a lot longer without my feet hurting. I don't circle the parking lot like a vulture looking for a close parking spot because it's too hard to walk. I'm okay with people snapping pictures of me, and actually ham it up on occasion. I can buy clothes off the rack, and they look cute. I can squeeze by people easily like at the movies, and then fit in my seat without having to lift the arm on an adjacent empty seat. I only need one seat when I fly, and no extender. I can get on the floor, and don't need a crane to get back up. I walk up 3 flights of stairs at work without stopping, and don't feel like the paramedics need to arrive to give me air. I get in, and out of bed easily. I can walk barefoot around my house without needing my Crocs to walk comfortably around it anymore. I can scratch any part of my body without being a contortionist when I have an itch with the exception of that part right at the top of the bra line on my back. I can be a contortionist when I want to, nuff said.  I fit in a restaurant booth which to me is always more comfortable. For the first time my drivers license doesn't say I'm smaller than I am (mental note, I need to get that changed). I plan meals, and rarely feel like I'm starving. My heart beat is strong and slow like an athlete according to my doctor, so I'm glad I got to this point before it was too late.  My new PCP said 2 weeks ago that I have the blood pressure of a teenager. I still have issues that need to be resolved, but for now Life is good after losing 143 lbs and I'm excited about losing more.