I Wanted to Cry for Her

Mar 18, 2012

Yesterday I shopped for new clothes at a store where they sell shoes too. I picked up a the cutest pair of strappy sandals which were totally out of character for me. They are white, and gold with about a 1" heels, and have peach stones on them. Basically I'm a Panama Jack flip flop wearer who gravitates between Crocs, a sensible pair of Clark's, and Cowgirl boots when they used to fit over my calves. When I left the store laden down with my new purchases I must have overlooked grabbing the box they were in, because when I got home, no sandals. This morning I went back with my receipt to get them. While I was waiting in line, a large woman who was about the size I was when I had WLS was sitting on the stool people use to try on shoes while her friend shopped around. When I was leaving, the woman, and her friend had made it out to the parking lot, and she was struggling to keep up the pace. She was breathing heavily as she tried to catch up. I felt such a sadness envelope me for this poor struggling woman. I wanted so badly to cry for her at that moment. I got in my car, bowed my head, and let this sadness wash over me, and then it switched to a profound grief. Suddenly with perfect clarity, I realized I was sad for myself, and all I had suffered by being Super Morbidly Obese. It was me who would find any place available to sit, and take a load off my over burdened feet. It was me who struggled to participate in  life, but struggled to keep up.  I stayed in that moment and let the sadness reach it's crescendo, and then the tide of grief ebbed away and left me grateful for where I was, and where I am headed.

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About Me
AZ
Location
32.5
BMI
RNY
Surgery
04/15/2011
Surgery Date
May 19, 2011
Member Since

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