Surgery Date

Aug 28, 2009

  I met with the surgeon with my husband.  I am trying to process where I am at right now.  I thought I would be more excited but after the "surgeon" talk yesterday I am, to be a honest, kind of second of guessing this decision.  I never expected to be in this place.  I have worked so hard for three years to get surgery and now I have and I am wondering if I can still do it on my own.  He also told me that my neck and back pain probably will not be cured by losing my weight.  He gave me the typical talk about how life is hard and the process is still going to take a lot of work.  Told me it will probably be the hardest thing I will ever do and that just as if I didn't have the surgery I am still going to have to follow the diet and do the exercise for life.  He always told me on an average I will probably only lose 80 pounds.  Well I need more like 130 punds. I know all of that, it is just how he put it.  It was as if he didn't think having surgery was the right thing.  I know that this is not the magic bullet. He kept saying that over and over about how lazy Americans are and we want the quick fix.   I know it is just a tool.  My head knows all of these things, but my heart somehow since yesterday has been very _____.  I don't really know even how to put it. 

So, today is a new day.  I am going to take my dogs for a walk.  Get some time on the beach.  Readjust my thinking, and know that this is the right decision for me.  I will be okay.  The Lords has given me this opportunity and I am his.  This is the beginning of a new life for me.

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