I'm getting nervous now

Aug 26, 2010

I'm having my surgery next month and the closer I get to my date, the more scared and anxious I see my self becoming.  I'm ready to have it, dont get me wrong but I'm scared of what life will be like after the fact. Food for me has been my crutch-take it away...THEN WHAT??? I've had my doctor and theraphist warn me of transfer addictions I need to be quickly tackle them before they get out of control. I new when I started this process there would be a downside and that having the RNY would ultimately come with it's cost. Now that my days are winding down, my thoughts are all starting to hit me at once. Thoughts like what if it goes wrong, what if I waste away to nothing, how to accept new attention in the same vain world that doesnt accept me now (sad to say-I'm used to not having it), and the list goes on. I'm doing this for me, against the disapproval of my mom and sister. Some know of my plans, but most still dont so for me I also have the issue of not really having many to relate to either. I'm going through with it though, I've gone through too much headache and wasted time just to get a date to begin with. I know I'll do fine if I stick to the scrpit, but had to get the jitters out somehow.  

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