SherryA

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Well it has been a relatively easy journey.  I don't have any major complaints.  I am one of the blessed individuals that has had no complications.  So I am thrilled with my choice to have RNY.  I would not recommend it to everyone.  Personally I found the mental aspect the hardest part.  Retraining your brain to see things differently is one hard task.  It is something that you have to work on everyday.  It does get easier, but I feel that I need to always be on my guard to avoid pitfalls. 

This last month has been crazy.  I graduated May 8th Magna Cum Laude with my ASN...never thought I could do that.  It is sad how we can convince ourselves that we cannot do something.  I am now preparing to take my boards. 

We just returned from India this last week.  We had a wonderful time, but the entire time I was not able to get enough protein, not to mention eating mainly carbs at every meal.  I ate very small amounts, which raised tons of questions.  I noticed a lot of swelling in my legs again, but it went away quickly when I got home.  I am back on track now, which I thought wold be hard, but I think I actually missed missed eating all my protein.  Didn't miss the shakes...lol  I took protein bars, but they were destroyed due to the heat.  I had some beef jerky which helped a lot.  I also had peanut butter and cheese (packed in ice till we got there). I ended our vacation with a wonderful bought of diarrhea...not good.  Dehydration hit me for about four days.  Feeling much better now. 

Yesterday my son had surgery to remove his tonsils and adenoids.  So it has been really hectic and doesn't appear to be slowing down.  Despite all of this, as of today, I have lost 81lbs!!!  I am thrilled.  I am sure others have lost a lot more, but I could care less.  I feel great - like a new person.  I am finally past my half way point.  I am getting close to the weight on my driver's license..lol  I don't think it was ever correct.  Sitting on the airplane was  a breeze.  I actually had a foot of extra belt on one plane...that felt so good.  Having to ask for an extender was humiliating.  I even went to a water park and fit on all the rides.  I am so happy with where I am today, that I could stop losing and I would be happy....HOWEVER I don't plan to let that happen.  I still have 78lbs to my goal weight.  I am not sure I will make or that I want to be that small (am I saying that???  lol), but I would love to be below 200.  I have 33lbs to go. 

I want to thank everyone here for the support, encouragement, and advice along the way.  It has been priceless. 

I am learning that my body is going to lose the weight at it own pace.  I have noticed a trend where I will lose 5-10lbs then sit for a week or so on the same weight...maybe even fluctuate then I will lose again.  I was very concerned about this for some time, but I think I am beginning to reconcile myself to this fact and let it go.  March 26 was my 42nd birthday and I must say I feel better than I have in 10+ years.  I also was in the 250's!  Which I don't remember being there in a very long time.  The 28th was my 3 month surgiversary and today I weighed 255!  I am so happy about this.  I went and did some shopping because my clothes were getting ridiculous...I found a nice lady who also had WLS and bought some of her clothes.  I need to get on the stick and sell some of mine.  I tried on a pair of 18's that actually fit, but I think they ran rather large, because 20's seem to be the main range for now.  I am also in 1x shirts.  At church Sunday everyone kept commenting on how great I looked.  I was actually wearing a new outfit and you could really see the difference.  I am down officially 59lbs.  I can't complain.  I could never have done it without RNY.  I am excited about the rest of the journey.

I have several things coming up in the next two months.  I am graduating the RN program in May and also going to India for half the month.  I will actually be gone from the 9th-31st.  I am trying to mentally prepare myself now for all of the travel, stress, and food changes.  It will be a challenge, but I am up for it.  Any great words of wisdom are appreciated. 

Well it has been 10 weeks since surgery and time seems to have flown by.  This morning I weighed in at 264.2.  Just shy of 50lbs.  It still feels unreal.  I am doing things now that I never thought I would do again.  I actually wore heels  last Sunday.  I never even with weight loss thought I would do that.  Funny thing is it didn't bother me at all.  I find myself more willing to be up and moving...I believe my couch potato days are coming to an end.  I hold up my size 20 pants and I can't believe how small they look.  What will it be like in a few more months.  I can't wait!

On the negative side...I find myself doing things that potentially could cause me serious problems down the rode.  I have not been taking my vitamins like I should.  Some days I do some days I don't.  I haven't drank a protein shake in at least 2 weeks.  I have eaten small peices of birthday cake 3 times.  I also find myself wanting to graze at times.  SO I need to seriously get back on track.  Today I am back on shakes and vits.  No more grazing either.  I hate it when I do crap like this.  I know in my mind these things are land mines, but I still insist on stepping on them.  I hope that one day this sick thinking will be behind me.  Till then I think I need to amp up my accountability. 

My goal is to be below 50lbs this week and maybe even into the 250's....that would be awesome. 

Well today I am officially in week seven.  I woke up to a nice surprise.  The scale finally went down.  I am now 270.1, which means I may actually make it in to the 260's this week.  I am not holding my breath though.  The scale does not seem to like me.  So I don't want to jinx this drop by thinking I am out of my stall.  Of course you would think your body would give out at some point and let go of some pounds.  Guess mine doesn't want to be skinny.  I can't blame it.  I have been feeding it my whole life.  I remember at the age of 5 the doctor said I needed to be on a diet.  When they say your body is in shock...mine must be triple that.  I plan to hit the treadmill more this week so I hope that will help.  I am also looking into a program that they have at my center.  I get a trainer and they walk me through what to do.  I am excited about that.  So body..be prepared.  The shocks keep coming!  lol

Yesterday I went for my 6 week check.  The scale in the doctor's office is 2lbs heavier than my scale at home so I hate stepping on the scale there....lol  They also go by my weight a month before surgery, instead of my surgery day weight.  I find that just odd, I go by my surgery weight, which I hate to say was more.  I think I am going to invest in a new scale.  I also discussed the fact that I keep stalling.  They are not concerned at all.  They actually said to me, you are smaller so you are not going to lose weight as fast and you were also active before surgery so you cannot compare yourself to others.  I have never been called small my entire life.  I was 309 lbs the day of surgery!  That isn't small, but I guess my doc deals with people much larger than I and I look "small" to them.  Not to mention I was 314 a week and a half prior to surgery.  Crazy.  I am looking forward to the scale moving again. 

My big issue at the moment is headaches.  I can't seem to stop having them.  I have had one off and on for the last 4 days.  I go to my family doc on Monday so if it is still happening I will mention it.  Just really dragging me down.  Week 7 is a few days away.  I plan on making this my loser week.  Wish me luck!

Ok, officially since 1-28 I have been fighting over the same 3-4 lbs.  What is the deal?  Am I not eating enough? Am I eating too much? This is crazy.  I keep waiting for the bog drop to start happening again...but it never seems to come.  Ok so maybe it hasn't been a terribly long time, but it sure feels like it!  I hope in the next week I actually drop these last few pounds and hit the 260's.  I do need to exercise more.  I am sure that would help.  I seem to have a case of the lazies.  Ok enough whining, back to work.

Well tonight I went with my family to a Mexican restaurant and I ordered the chicken tortilla soup.  I at a few bites then swallowed a piece of chicken before I had chewed it well enough.  Well you can guess what happened.  It was not pretty.  That is the first time I have dumped.  I was wondering if it would ever happen, because I have done pretty well.  It was a good reminder to make sure I chew!

Ok so I have started shopping, not buying, just trying things on.  I went to Khol's and I was able to fit into a 20!  I am blown away.  I knew the 22's I tried on the other day were lose, but I didn't dream it was that much.  Add to this that the scale finally moved, makes me a happy camper! 

The biggest problem in all of this is wrapping my mind around this whole concept of being smaller.  I don't remember being in clothing that wasn't plus sized.  I am still trying to figure out how I am going to mentally make this change.  It is happening so fast.  I have a running joke with some friends.  I don't want to turn into one of those people that lose a ton  of weight and get slutty.  I told them if I go out and buy fishnet stocking someone had better do an intervention!  No offense, just sayin...lol

I went and tried on clothes today, and found out that a 22 fits me perfectly.  It has been many years since a 22 has seen it's way around my waist.  The problem is that most pants are made for women with bigger hips, so I look like I have a couple of wings sticking out on each side.  Not sure what to do about that problem, except hope I drop sizes fast enough to wear some clothing from the skinny peoples stores.  The cool part is I can tell that I am only a few pounds from a 20.  Can't wait to be in the teens....I seriously haven't been there since high school.  For those of you wondering...no the scale isn't moving yet.

Ok so I spoke to soon.  It seems like the last several days I have started back up the scale!  I went up to 278 and have been sitting at 275 for the last several days.  That being said, I haven't had a bowel movement in some time.  I took a stool softner yesterday and finally today I had success.  I really need to get in more fluids so this isn't always a problem.  So let's hope that moment dropped several pounds for tomorrow...lol