Stats/reflections at 6 months.

Jun 28, 2013


High weight:  265

Surgery weight: 253 (-12 lbs)

Month 1:  232 (-21 lbs)

Month 2: 216.4 (-15.6)

Month 3: 204.6 (-11.8)

Month 4: 191.2 (-13.4)

Month 5: 178.2 (-13)

Month 6: 168.4 (9.8)

Total Loss:  96.4 total, 84.4 since VSG

I need to lose 11.4 lbs by July 24 to meet the last goal my surgeon set for me.  It is possibly do-able, but it will be VERY difficult.

Also:  I forgot to weigh myself when I first got up this morning (!!!), so this weight is after I drank half a protein drink, went for a run, and drank 20 oz of water.  I'll weigh again tomorrow and see where we are then.

I'll post pictures later today.  And, for my reflection, I'd like to post a response I wrote to kairk which I think sums up my mental state right now: 

From the printout that came with my body composition analysis:  "BMI isn't a measurement but a calculation based on your height and weight.  A BMI over the normal range can indicate a weight problem, or a degree of obesity.  Individuals with a large amounts of muscle mass for their height may also have a BMI over the normal range; this is not indicative of obesity or a health risk.  Percentage of Body Fat is a measured component of your actual body composition; PBF is the percentage of your total weight that isn't muscle, bone, or excess fluid.  PBF is a more accurate means of assessing degrees of obesity or degrees of fitness." (emphasis mine.)

I identify with so much of what you posted--wanting to be "normal," knowing you won't ever be, finding our peace, etc.  But I know that "measurement" is always going to matter to me, and probably to you.  I think my path is going to be to focus on PBF, not BMI, as a measure of my fitness.  I talked to a personal trainer/athletic director friend of mine last night and asked him, in a neutral way, his opinion of BMI.  With no prompting from me at all, he went on a 15 minute rant calling it "total crap" and discussing the athletic people he works with who have sometimes as little as 10% body fat (men, not women) who are, according to BMI, obese. Now, I'm not tossing BMI out altogether.  I think it is a good starting point for most people who may not have access to fancy PBF testing devices.  But it's not the BEST measure of fitness, and I'm in this to be fit, not light (although I obviously want to be lightER).

Now, if you're just ASSUMING you have high muscle mass and are using that as an excuse, maybe throwing out the BMI chart is a bad idea.  But that is NOT you, and it is not me.  As long as we are honest with ourselves and have these scans done on a regular basis (I'm thinking I'll stick with the 3 times a year the Y does them for $10, and spring for the fancy expensive kind when I'm around 150 just to see where I "really" am at that point), then really, I think PBF is a way to allow us to stay fit and healthy and still have some validation from a more accurate measurement.  As I get older, my muscle mass may decrease and then I will have to re-evaluate my goals.  I refuse to allow myself to use the fact that I may never be a "normal" BMI to view myself as a failure.  I have lost almost 100 lbs and managed to build muscle in the process.  I deserve a freaking parade, and so do you! 

What I am slowly coming to realize is that as long as I'm expecting some sort of "prize" from someone else (my surgeon, my family, whoever) at the "end" of this journey, I'll never be happy.  I have to decide, from a position of information, where I'm headed and where I want to stay.  If others want to applaud me, great.  If they don't, so be it.  This is MY journey that I started for ME and to be healthy for my children.  It will never be over, and I am in charge of defining my success.

Easy to type, not so easy to live. :)