shrinking_sarah
Stats/reflections at 9 months.
Oct 04, 2013
Stats:
High weight: 265
Surgery weight: 253 (-12 lbs)
Month 1: 232 (-21 lbs)
Month 2: 216.4 (-15.6)
Month 3: 204.6 (-11.8)
Month 4: 191.2 (-13.4)
Month 5: 178.2 (-13)
Month 6: 168.4 (9.8)
Month 7: 157 (11.4)
Month 8: 146.4 (10.6)
Month 9: 140.2 (6.2)
Today: 138.6
Total Loss: 124.8 total (on Sept. 28), 112.8 since VSG
So, things are slowing down, but I'm ok with that, really. I went back to work. I am still struggling to balance work, family, and gym time. I enjoy being back at work, though, and I'll figure it out eventually. For now, I exercise when I'm able to, but I recognize that sometimes, I have 2 PTA meetings and back-to-school night, and it just doesn't happen. This is real life. I get up at 5:15 a.m. It is not reasonable for me to get up any earlier and exercise in the morning. I'm now coaching my daughter's soccer team despite my complete lack of soccer skill, so at least I'm running around with her for an hour every Tuesday.
I know my dr. would prefer to see me closer to 130. If I get there, great. If not, I am at a healthy bmi and am happy with how I look.
I have A LOT of excess skin. I am dreaming of skin removal--thights, tummy, arms, and a boob lift/augmentation. I'd also like it to be free, instantaneous, and pain-free. So, yeah. We'll see. I have a very short window where I could do it in June, but we have a big vacation to Hawaii planned at the end of July, and it is more important to me that I enjoy that time than that I have skin removed, so if I can't get a pretty strong guarantee that I'd be fully recovered by then (right around 6 weeks), it will have to wait until June 2015. And I'm thinking that is what will happen. Damn. But I'll still do some consults in January, just in case.
My inner thighs bother me the most, mainly because they hang out when I wear shorts. The rest is covered by clothing and doesn't impact what I "can" wear. The arms, well, lots of women my age have batwings. But the legs bug me. My shorts have to go to my knees, which is kind of hard to find these days.
And now--my biggest NSV from this process:
Are you ready?
I can really only worry about making myself happy.
I think many overweight people are people-pleasers. I have been one my whole life, even when I wasn't overweight. I always wanted to make others happy, or get their approval. Not just in a superficial way. As a child, it would wound me if I thought another person was disappointed in me. I always tried to get good grades, both because I have high standards for myself and also because I seek external validation.
Well, WLS has helped me significantly with that. I struggled to meet the goals my surgeon set. Even though, really, my loss has been pretty consistent, every time I've gone in I have been told I was losing slower than I should have been.
This was a big struggle for me for a long time. I wanted that external validation.
Finally, I just let it go.
This is MY process. I did this for me and my health. If others want to validate what I'm doing, well, yay for them. But really, what matters is what I think.
I think I look good.
I think I am amazed my body fat is so low (24% on Sept. 24).
I think I feel better than I have in a very long time. I am in better physical shape than I was even in high school, when I danced pretty much every day.
If I spend my whole life waiting for someone else to tell me I'm doing a good job, then I'll be spending my life waiting. I need to recognize my own failures and triumphs and give myself kudos or a stern talking to when they are justified. I can't be worried about other people--I just no longer have time.
And that, I think, is my biggest NSV from this whole process.
