Sigourney
Prior to any specific date entry, I am the youngest of 16 children. My father was of normal teedering on the smaller side. However, my mother was a large woman. My sisters and brothers for the most part are large. Mealtime in my family was the time of all times - our entire lives centered around food. Seeing large quantities of food was"normal" as there were so many of us; but the preparation of the food was vein blowing and High blood pressures frenzy - I grew up thinking Land O Lakes Butter was my friend. Fat back and hog jawl were always floating around in a pot. We even had food attire - Moo-Moo's were worn so that your clothes would not get too tight while consuming your large quantity. Not being large as a child, I was teased for being skinny; however, I remember the feeling of wanting to be apart of this large family so I too would gourge myself. Through the years, I eventually did gain weight and have been dealing with Obesity for over 20 years - I'm 45 now. Medically, I saw my parents and siblings slowly deteriorate becaue of health problems associated with obesity and these health problems would eventually take their lives. My father who was not large - died of leukemia, my mother was large and died of heart dissease - years of obesity; my oldest brother, Buck - years of obesity - I saw go down the path of overweight - Diabetes, kidney failure and heart failure - only to pass away at the age of 55. Another brother, Junior - not obese - he died of Aids and related problems. Still I was not making the connection until my sister Mary passsed away at 53 years of age - she was classic of yo-yo dieting coupled with High blood pressure and Pre-Diabetes. She wasn't the fondest of doctors and did not like medications. When I lost her, apart of me left with her. She was so young and was so vibrant. Of all my siblings, this was who I most admired - she was so educated, loving and trusting. She always spent time listening and talking with me. I will always have an emptiness in my heart for her - I miss her; however, the weight/health issue just kinda hit me square in the face. To solidify this square hit in the face, my sister Ruby passed away - obesity for years, diabetes, kidney failure and high blood pressure - I knew I had to make some changes. Changes to improve my quality of life. WLS is not a magic wand - to me it represents an opportunity to improve my overall health and slow the fast slippery slope that I am on at 45 (High Blood Pressure; High Chlolesterol; Diabetes; GERD; Joint Problems and Sleep apnea). Starting a few years ago, I researched a little about WLS - talked with a few people - surprisingly - My best friend (Sierra) along with Mary - both were against it and I kinda dropped it. Now - my Mary is gone and Sierra finally had the surgery herself.
After much consideration and more research, I began the WLS journey again in November 2005 - I missed my
December 2005 appointment and had to restart a series of 6 months of medically supervised physician visits (My insurance company requires this). Sooo,
January 2006 - I began visiting my doctor for monthly documentation of my weight loss attempts. I weighed 232 - the doctor placed me on an all white food diet (excluding white rice). I tried and probably did not take it seriously - but I tried. During this month, I also attended a Gastric By-Pass Seminar and Support group. I met people who were gigantic in weight - this one lady had an apron (stomach) that heavily hung down to her knees - she was on a cane; but she had the support of her husband (one of my ex-offenders). My heart identified with her - My fear is that my eating would lead me to where this woman is - Please Dear God help me. I decided my consultation date with the Team would be March 31st along with $750.00. Sierra was with me.
February 2006 - I met with the Doctor on schedule - I had gained a pound despite the white food and so she asked that I incoporate walking and I agreed.
March 2006 - I met with the Doctor as scheduled - This time, my blood work showed signs of Pre-Diabetes and I was diagnosed. I cried that day in her office - the square thing in the face - it was there - I saw myself and the same destiny as my parents and siblings. Please dear God, help me improve my health. This was also the month that I met with WLS Team. This was an all day event - the office was clean, the staff very helpful - except the psychologist - He insisted that I showed some signs of problems and wanted me to have extra psychological assistance - I was upset to say the least - One of his bullet points was that I loose 5-10 pounds - "Hello - yo-yo-dieting is sure to take me out" I'm thinking. But I complied and called a provider for this.
April 2006 - I met with my doctor as scheduled - I shared the information about the psychiatrist - She could not believe that as also felt that I was fine - We both agreed, this may very well be a money thing. I had had been walking the dog more - feeling a little energized with the walking. I met the Mental Health Therapist for the first time - she seemed nice; but she too wondered what would she be able to accomplish in my short time frame - But she was genuinely interested in wanting to help me. So we began sessions.
May 2006 - I met with with my primary as scheduled - I lost some weight. I met with the Mental Health Therapist - We went through an interesting discovery and put some things together regarding my lifestyle - During my early years -- I was the party girl - I was a club goer every Friday/Saturday night - I danced for hours - and it was during these years that although my eating was no doubt attrocious - I was moving - my activity level was up. So I challenged my self both in courage and ability to explore the Dance Studio - I began taking dance lessons -- Boy was I proud of myself. My husband was my partner and things went ok for a few weeks.
June 2006 - I met with my doctor for the final time - for the WLS documentation - She agreed that I needed the surgery and would prepare her letter. However, the Mental Health Therapist felt I needed a few more sessions -
July 2006 - The Mental Health Therapist finally completed her visits with me - (She wanted 6 visits). I learned alot - With her I explored some of my food triggers such as stress and social sitations. The body image thought pattern explored as well as my support system. This turned out to be wonderful opportunity which has added to my preparation for this surgery - it was interesting and a bit expensive; but non the less - she sent my letter in clearing me. 7/31/06 - I changed my hair.
August 2006 - I met with the surgeon - All my paperwork ready for submission to Insurance Company. Surgeon related I was a good candidate for RNY (Lap). I agreed; but was not sure about the insurance company approval - He assured me that he and his team of insurance handlers would take care of it.
September 15th 2006 - Insurance Company provided approval - Surgeon's Office called to confirm a surgery date - we agreed on November 28th -- I have a few projects at work pending as did my immediate supervisor and I wanted to be off during the month of December 2006.
October 2006 - The waiting - I'm ensuring that I have all my supplies - my game plan to make the surgery work - I talk with Sierra nearly daily - hearing her about her journey with the new eating; reading the site - I'm a sponge - reading all I can. I indulged on a few meals - knowing that this will be the end to the gourging etc. I've not gained any weight; but my health is getting a little scary - Today - October 25, I am strugling with hip/joint problems (sciatic nerve) which have me home bound.
October 29, 2006
Today, I can finally count from 30 days as my
WLS Surgery is 11/28/2006. I'm not feeling well today - between my sciatic nerve, hemmroids, pulled groin muscle on the right side - I'm not feeling well. One of my brothers is in the hospital and I will have to make that trip to see him. I was not able to attend church today as I was trying to keep the cool compresseses on my butt and rest my right side. Friday, was my 16th wedding anniversay - we hung out at home - I was not feeling well and yesterday was my nephews birthday - we did take him to dinner - It was a nice time until I just about got stuck in the restaurant booth. My husband is wonderful and ensured that all was ok.
November 7, 2006
Today was ok. I had a shake for breakfast; fast food lunch and Cereal for dinner. I watched Dancing with the Stars on tonight - Love that Mario and Emmett. I have less than 3 weeks to go until surgery. Nervous to say the least. My sciatic nerve or hip is acting up and on tomorrow, I'll be having an MRI to find out if it is arthritus or rheumatism or just plain overweight. My daughter and I had fun after I got home from voting. We played hair salon and she ended up with a wash n set and I ended up with a pedicure.
November 11, 2006
Today is a holiday- yesterday was the first day my husband and I had to just hang out. He is such a wonderful man - very supportive and he prays for me and my health. I love him. My older sister who you would believe to my younger sister was in dire straights for money. I am facing mounds of bills (Taxes, Dental work and 20% of my WLS). I did make the loan; but I am praying for both of us for some growth in the financial department as well. I am a shop a hollic by trade - always "gathering" or eating - essentially not dealing with my feelings in best way. As of surgery, I wont have the option to stuff my face and financially, I won't be able to shop in SAKS to make me feel better either. I am trying walking and water aerobics. My hip feels somewhat better.
November 13, 2006
Today was a blessing as all other days are - but I was able to attend church with my family - The message was awesome - The strength of the mind and the strength of Gods word - How we all struggle with negative forces or positive forces controlling our minds - Oh How I need Jesus. The deception that I allowed to happen in my mind for years as it relates to being in denial about the weight gain and bad food choices - and how it affected my life and that of my family. I am so grateful to God for granting me the opportunity for the WLS on 11/28/06. I am trusting that He is with me always - even during this surgery - I am hiding in my heart Psalm 41 along with Ephesians 6. Thank you God for a wonderful day.
November 13, 2006
What a busy day at work (hiring and discipliine all at once) I had shrimp for lunch - Soup for dinner along with vitamins. I feel much better - still waiting for diagnosis regarding the hip/back X-Ray.
December 13, 2006
Alot has happened since my last post - I do have arthritis in my hip. My WLS was on 11/28/06 as scheduled. The Care I received while in the hospital was excellent. Due to escalated blood pressure and diabetes and lack of regular room, I was held in ICU for a few days. My pain level was tremendous for the first couple of days adn then it just let up. The Barriam swallow was gross. Imagine - you're thirsty and the first thing you get to drink is this white chalky mess followed by this sweet thick mess - non the less - my surgical lines were fine -- no leaks. I was allowed to sip water for a day - I was so thirsty - this was no problem. Thursday nite - I realized that I had not passed gas or had a bowel movement. I began to drink tea and really increase my walks - Late Thursday night - it happened. By Friday morning, I had a BM - diahreah non the less - but all was passing through down there. By Wednesday - all my IV's (3 of them) were gone along with the catheder. I was able to take myself to the restroom and shower (boy did that feel good).
