sistaqueen

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Well, here I go posting after almost two years! I just need to get this out, I am so very disappointed in myself right now, needless to say, I have gained back ALL of the weight I lost plus some more! I am right back where I statred and have no one or nothing to blame but myself, I can't stand for long, can't walk long distances, knees are horrible, back pain, really bad. I just decided today to come on here and see what was going on, I see a lot of changes have happened. At this point, I don't know what to do or where to go from here, if you would have told me three years ago that I would be right back at this place, I would have said no way!  I am having a very hard time right now and need to make some decisions about changing some things in my life in order to get this weight off! i just don't know what to do right now.

Well, where do I begin? Maybe I should just start out with saying that I have gained back most of the weight I lost! On top of that, I am so far off track and don't even know how to find my way backThe first thing I wanted to do of course was to blame the surgery as a failure, I even told myself that I chose the wrong surgery and should of had the GB, but then I had to sit and really think about it, and realized that no matter what surgery I had, I still would have probably found myself back here in this place! I don't have any regrets for choosing to have the LB, I felt at the time and still do, that it was the best surgery for me. I want to encourage anyone who is reading this to learn from my mistakes, you must deal with the "root" of the problem with your weight issues. I am reminded of a scripture that says, you were running a good race...but who cut in on you? I must say , this scripture has definitely come to life in my situation, there seems to be no middle ground with me, when I'm on, I'm on and when I'm off, I'm way off!

I have had some major changes in my life over the past months, and unfortunately, I went back to what was familiar to me, and that was food and eating the wrong things! I must maintain a disciplined lifestyle, I find when I lack discipline in one area of my life, there are many other areas where discipline is lacking. I had the pleasure recently of reading a book called, Success through a positive mental attitude, this book was excellent and very practical about releasing myself from NMA (Negative mental attitude) and embracing a life of PMA (Positive mental attitude), so, I see myself thin, I see myself healthy(physically & emotionally), I see myself successful! I choose to keep my eyes on the prize, and move forward and allow those mistakes I have made during this journey to be used as stepping stones to catapult (sp?) me into my destiny!!!
Again, the "tool" will work, if I work the "tool"

I will be back!
See ya!

Well, I will say I am getting back on track! Praise God! Now, last Wednesday, I went back in for a fill after the unfill I had a few months ago. Currently, I have 4.5 cc's in my band and I will have to wait to see wht that brings. It has been very difficult with getting my mind to wrap around doing the right thing again since I have been doing the wrong thing for so long. Okay, so I was on a all liquid fast on Wed., Thurs & Fri. (I ate a lil something about 11 pm) to try to help jumpstart myself back on the right track

Well hello,
I  just celebrated my one year bandiversary a couple of days ago! I'm not sure how much weight I have lost at this point, its been a rocky road for me theses last few months. I have been so off track til its not even funny, I was kinda sad then mad at myself for not reaching my one year goal of 100 pounds down, but then I had to remember, I'm not where I was before surgery, and for that, I'm grateful. A little over three weeks ago, I had to have some saline removed from my band because everything I was eating, I was bringing it back up, so he had to take some out.  I'm not sure what happened all of a sudden because my last adjustment was in  Jan. , and for the band to suddenly tighten up like that was really weird. I do have a theory though, I think I had started to gain some weight back and my stomach was getting larger, therefore making the band tighter. I know I have gained back at least twenty pounds because I am really starting to feel it in my knees again, went to the mall with my girls and had to sit down on the bench several times! I won't know for sure how much weight I gained until I go in for my one year follow up appt. on next Thursday, I don't weigh myself at all and try to wait until I go to my surgeons office to get weighed in. I can feel adiffernce in my clothes, I have slacked off with the gym as well. I have no excuses, but have had some very stressful things happen the last month or so, my daughter and grandaughter moved away out of state and that has been very difficult for me, but once again, I cannot allow myself to go back to that same person I was before surgery, so I am making a decision to get up, dust myself off, set new goals and move forward, I will not allow myself to stay in this place, no way!
So you will be hearing from me soon about the progress I am making!
To God be the glory for the things He has done!

Peace

Hello Everyone,
I cannot believe this much time has passed since I last posted! I just decided to come on today to give an update on my progress. Well, where do I begin? I have been having a bit of a hard time hear lately with staying focused, but again, I can only blame myself and not the band. I have been eating all of the wrong things, cake, candy, cookies, you name it, if I wasn't suppose to have it< I did! I went away on a little vacation last week for some rest and relaxation and lost my mind with eating the junk food!!!! I am trying real hard to get back on track, but it isn't easy, I am trying real hard to stay away from sugar for a long while. I have noticed lately the amounts of food I have been able to eat, it may be time for me to go in for another fill, but I am going to try to wait it out a little bit and try to eat the right things. I have gained a few pounds, but with what I have been eating, I'm not surprised. I have to go now, but I will come back on to finish later.

I can't believe it, but its been six whole months since I had the lap band surgery! Boy, does time fly, before I begin with my update, I just want to say happy 7th birthday to my grandaughter. I can't believe that she is seven already.

Now, on with my update, yesterday, I had my six month appointment with Dr. Katz, I am pleased to report that I am down about 70 lbs. total, that is pre surgery and post surgery weight loss!!!! I count them all together because I had to work hard to lose all of the pounds. I am very excited about the progress I made thus far. As I take a look back over these past six months, I have to honestly say that I could have been further along in my weight loss had I been obedient to all of the things I was taught, but even in spite of that, I may not be where I felt I should have been at this point, but I thank God that I am not where I use to be, and for that, I am grateful!

There has been a lot going on over these months, some good, some bad, but by know means do I regret my decision to have this surgery. Even through the adversities, they have brought about victories. I made a decision not to complain, but to be so grateful to God for this wonderful opportunity, I count it an honor and privledge that God would show me such favor.

I have had other episodes of food getting stuck, and the foaming, sliming and all that goes along with it, my doctor had some concern that I was experiencing these episodes pretty regularly, but , I'm not totally sure that its because the band is too tight. I can't say that each time I have had an episode that I definitely knew that I chewed my food well, I can't say that each time I ate slowly, I can't say each time I only had small amounts of food. So, he wants me to pay really close attention to when I experience an episode over the next couple of weeks and journal what I did before the episode, then we will make a determination to unfill me at that time.

There are some very specific foods I eat that I know trigger an episode, that is chicken, no matter how its cooked, it can be baked, fried, steamed or whatever. Bread is also something else that can trigger an episode, french freis, cake sometimes does it as well, and shrimp. My doc said that I can make a decision to give up the foods that I know causes these episodes, and I said to him, I can't imagine not being able to eat chicken!!!! I don't think that I am ready to give up chicken totally, I can probably do without some of the other things, but not my chicken, even though I love french fries, I can give them up, I like shrimp, but I can give that up.

This band journey is just that a journey and you have to be willing to put in the work that is required with the band in order to have the success that you want, you have to be totally honest with yourself about going in to this. I haven't been to the gym the last two weeks, due to the passing away of my brother in law, but trust me, come Monday, I will be back at the gym just like before, you have to work hard with the band, the weight is not just going to melt off, but as you put in the work, the reward will be even greater.

So that is my update for now, until the next time.

Peace & Blessings

Okay, here it goes. This past Saturday, I had a stuck episode that was the worse one yet. I was eating a couple of fries with my dinner and boy oh boy, that was it! I felt that "stuck" feeling in my chest, and then it got worse from that point on, I could not burp, I started foaming and sliming and trust me it was horrible!!!!! The pain would not let up, it was nothing I could do to get relief, this went on for what seemed like hours, but it was probably about 20-30 mins, things were so bad for me that I thought I would have to go to the ER. I'm telling you the pain was so unbearable, but eventually I got to the point where the fries were coming back up (sorry, to be so graphic) and I felt so much better.

Fast forward to Monday, things were going pretty well that day and I had been able to eat throughout the day with no problems. So now its dinner time and I go to eat and I ate one baked chicken wing ding, and boy oh boy, here I go again, with the pain, foaming and sliming. This also lasted for about 30 mins or longer, it was horrible again! I said that maybe I am too tight and should probably call my doc to go in for an unfill, but then I decided to try and wait this out a little longer, my 6 month appointment is on the 21st. I finally concluded why I had the episode on Monday, I mean I chew my food really well, but, I think I just had too much food in my mouth at one time and swallowing it, it became stuck, so I am now trying to be more concious(sp?) about taking much smaller bites and continuing to chew well, and allowing the food time to past through before taking the next bite. I tell you this band is so tempermental and I have to be very mindful of what I am doing during my meal times. I really don't want to have any more experiences like the last two. So since my last fill, I have had about 4 episodes of getting stuck, and its not a pretty picture.

I admonish those of you who are pre surgery to really read and learn from my mistakes, you have to obey the rules, and each time you get an adjustment, you have to readjust all over again to the way you eat. If it worked before the adjustment, it may not work after the adjustment, its really just trial and error.

That's my update for now. I'll be sure to keep you posted!

Peace & blessings

Well, today is my 41st birthday! It was a wonderful day, I thank God for allowing me to see 41 years of life!
Now on with my update, its been exactly two weeks today that I had my last adjustment and I'm still not sure how I feel about this last fill. I had another stuck episode today and I really believe I was just eating to fast this time, but I tell you, I don't like haveing that feeling, it is very painful!
I am going to wait it out a little to see how I continue to do before I call my surgeon and ask him to unfill me a little, I have finally concluded that having the band calls for an extreme amount of patience and determination. Having the band, you cannot be so caught up in the numbers on the scale, but you have to be more willing to accept whatever progress you have made.
I look at all of the victorious I have had since having surgery, such as, being able to walk without much pain, being able to stand longer than 5 mins at a time, getting my blood pressure meds reduced, wearing smaller sizes, last year this time, I was wearing a size 28 and this year, I went to a store on Saturday and was able to purchase a size 16 top!!!!! So as I reflect on my decision to have the lapband versus the bypass, I am completely satisfied  with my decision and the progress. I would have to say though, that, I do understand why people would make the choice to go ahead and have the bypass and not have to be bothered with all of the ups and downs with the band. I mean, you really have to count the costs before making the decison for either surgery and if you are really ready to do what it takes to be successful with the band, the band does require a lot of work. I know that my relationship with God has helped me tremendously with this, I'm not sure where I would be without the help of God. I really admonish those that are considering this surgery to do your homework, ask lots of questions and really make sure you are ready to work hard and pray, pray, pray. The good thing is that there are many success stories with the band as well as the bypass, as there are many storeis that are not as successful with each of them as well. I am as encouraged today as I was going in to this, its just a matter of being patient to find that "sweet spot" and be comfortable. 
Well, that is all for now, and I wish those of you who are considering or even beginning your journey's, much success!

Peace & Blessings

Well, 
I went in on this past Monday for my third fill because I have totally been out of control. I had a very interesting experience, my surgeon does the fills under fluoro, thank God. He usually withdrawls the fluid in the band before he fills it again to make sure there are no leaks or anything. My last fill, I had a total of 5 cc's of saline and this time when he took it out, he was able to withdrawl about 4.5 cc's, he wasn't really concerned because he said that sometimes the saline gets caught up in the tubing, he said if I was missing a couple cc's then he would be concenred. He proceeded to fill the band with  no success, he had to stick me a few times and do a x-ray before he was finally able to hit the "bullseye" as he says. I wasn't in any pain at all from having to be stuck a few times due to the lanacane (sp?), so he starts out giving me 6 cc's of saline, and boy was that to tight! He then took out about 1/2 cc and that was still to tight, now I'm thinking to myself, this can't be for real, I had 5 cc's with no restriction and now 5.5 is too tight! Well, it was, so he took out about .25 more and that was ok, still a tad tight though. He said to me that 5 cc's was my "sweet spot", I thought, there was nothing "sweet" about what I just experienced over this past month.

Well, I really do think I have the "restriction" that I so ofetn hear talked about on the boards, I am really trying to retrain myself on how to eat again. I have had a few stuck episodes, and trust me , it was no fun! Then today, I had the "stuck episode of all "stuck' episodes! I was in so much pain and it seemed like it took forever for it to pass. I'm not sure yet how I am feeling about all this, I mean, if I am going to have the restriction that is good, but on the other hand, I don't like what I experienced today, so the jury is still out on this one, I am going to try a lot harder about watching how I am eating, what I am eating, how much I am eating until I get used to this.

I am really afraid to eat because I don't want to have the experience I had today, btu I still want to eat. This is soooooo very hard having to retrain my mind and habits all over again after so long being able to eat what I wanted. I really think that I will be okay, but I am going to have to pray now for God to give me the strength to be able to do what I have to do in order to make this tool work for me. This is definitely not the easy way out, I am not frustrated with the "band " at all because everything that I have experienced so far, I knew it going in to the decision to have this done. You definitely need to have patience in dealing with this band, but it can be very rewarding if you follow the rules. My advice for anyone contemplating this surgery is , to make sure you educate yourself totally, that way you are not surprised when something happens and of course follow the rules! I cannot stree this enough. Well, that is my update for now and I promise to keep you all posted,

It is so hard to believe that I have allowed all this time to go by without posting. Nedless to say, things are not going as they should be with me right now, I am in desperate need for a fill! I haven't posted my food diary in quite some time because of being busy trying to get ready for the holiday's and not being on the computer much, its not a good idea for not have the level of accountability that I need to be successful in this journey.

My eating has been out of control now for the last week or two. I called today to set up an appointment to come in for a fill, but the person that schedules the appointments is on vacation until the 2nd of January, I am just going to have to wait this out I guess, its just that I have definitely gone back to some of my old eating patterns and this has really got me in a little bit of a stink. The holiday was very difficult with all of the cookies, candy and sweets, this is a big area of weakness for me and what is even more surprising is is that I didn't even think twice about what I was putting in my mouth!

I am so afraid of getting on the scale right now, but I have to own the number whatever it is, I can only blame myself, not the "band", not anyone else but me. I have tried to consistently go to the gym during this time, so that is about the only thing that I am proud of. Well, 2008 is almost here, and 8 is the number of new beginnings, so I am looking forward to beginning again, getting back on track and working my tool the way that it was meant to be worked. I will set another goal, since I don't know if I met my Christmas challenge goal of losing 5 lbs. because I never got on the scale, but this time I will set another goal for me to reach by my 41st birthday on January 28th! I would like to lose 10 lbs. by then, so I know I am going to have to buckle down and act like I know.

I pray that everyone had a wonderful Christmas and I am praying for a prosperous New Year for each of us in this weight loss journey. I will be keeping you updated.

Peace & Blessings