Jamie W.

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Well, my last post was last year!!!  I'm so ashamed...lol  So much has happened.  My dad is getting by in the nursing home.  Every other week or so he has an issue and has to go back to the hospital for tests, they fix it and then another issue arises.  His kidneys are bad, blood levels/count is not so good and other organs are having issues.  They think he will have to stay in the nursing home as bad as he wants to get out and live with my niece in PA.  She works there and keeps us informed of his progress.  To talk to him on the phone, you would not think he has much going on, but an 80 year old alcoholic's body can not stand all these changes since he has been clean/detoxing from 50 years of drinking!!!

The good news is my dad said the sinners prayer and gave his heart to the Lord, so when he dies, I know he is going to see Jesus!!!  That is the most important thing.  I want to go visit him soon this year before he deteriorates any more.  He still has physical hip pain since he never received the hip surgery he needed years ago.  He drank mostly to mask the pain, now the pain is still there and they are giving him pain killers to help.  I guess the doctors say that surgery is not a good idea now.

I think I used this stress to not workout, not eat right along with work stress and all the issues that were going on there with me as a supervisor.  I had to do a lot with my dad's power of attorney, having my niece help move him out of his apartment, pay all final bills, pre-pay a funeral, etc all from AZ with her and my dad in PA.  I flew out once for 3 days, but it was all a whirlwind!!!

Anyway, I am finally back on schedule with exercise, not so much with eating yet.  I'm getting there.  I applied for another position at work which was a demotion and I have never been happier!!!  I blessed to be able to pay off some debt first and the decrease in pay was acceptable.  God is good!!!  Once again, I would have never come up with that idea, He worked it all out and the situation came to pass.

Now the not so good news....I haven't weighed myself in months!!!  Last time I was weighed at the doctor's, I gained 30 pounds.  I'm embarrased to admit it.  That is why I posted the most recent pics from last week so I could confess.  I haven't felt a change in my clothes, but I think the weight was in my stomach and breasts (for the love of God, of all places-like I needed any more of those!!!).  So I am back at the gym exercising in the water.

I had a knee injury and was on crutches for 6 weeks or so and there was no exercising going on (this was all during the issues with work and my dad).  I had wet shoes from the rain after walking my dog and slipped on my tile floor and did a split.  I feel back on top of the leg that was behind and ripped my miniscus.  I was laying on my back with my leg twisted behind me looking at the heal of my foot thinking, "I shouldn't be able to see the bottom of my foot".  I already had degenerative arthiritis in that knee.

Good news is after several xrays, a MRI and 3 doctors, I don't need knee surgery as long as I continue to workout and increase the muscles in my thighs to take the pressure and stress off the left knee.  What motivation to exercise???!!!!  That is what I prayed for, just didn't want it to come in that form....go figure.  God sure does have a sense of humor and does things like we would never expect...that's what makes Him God.  He knows it has to be done in a manner where the only explanation is Him and He gets the glory!!!  Not me!!!

That made it real hard to get back on track so I used that as an excuse to pig out and graze, graze and graze so there is where the 30 pounds came from!!!  Now I have to work on eating better.  I've been averaging going to the gym 3 to 6 days a week.  I get up at 4:30 am and then I can get to work by 8 am.  It's done and I don't have to think about it the rest of the day!!!

Still not dating, but I have been emailing with one guy I like who is currently in Nigeria (West Aftrica) helping at an orphanage.  We will see what happens there....more to be revealed.  I had tons of friend bug me to join facebook so I did.  Here is m link to my profile there.  a href=http://www.facebook.com/people/Jamie-Wilson/1381442353>Facebook me!
That is all until next year....I hope I'm just kidding.....lol

For those of you who didn’t know, I flew out to PA on 10/5/08 after church and came back 10/7/08.  I had to go to his bank and cash in one of his CDs to pay for the flight, car rental and to clean his apartment.

I met with him and he said the sinner’s prayer with me and I told him I was more concerned about his soul than his body.  Praise God, I can handle anything else that can happen from here on out.

His leg was hurting him and he did not get it checked so he fell in his apartment.  He was on the floor for 3 days before anyone checked on him.  Since he is an alcoholic, he was detoxing those 3 days, had urine all over the place and began getting sores from laying on the floor for so long.  It didn't look like he was going to make it.  His kidney's failed the first night in ICU and he had to begin dialysis.  The next day he had a fever of 109, when that was lowered his kidneys began with more complications, the issues kept popping up.

Work is hectic, but I’m back to working full days.  I did a half a day when I flew back and was very scattered.  Please pray for me to be able to focus and not forget to do my assigned tasks while I am here.

Last week was the best he was doing since he was in the hospital.  He’s sitting up eating and off all the machine monitoring.  He was waiting for a bed to open so he can leave the ICU.  He does have mild case of dementia and Alzheimer’s.  He will have to be discharge to have rehab for 20 days (the insurance will cover 100%) and then to a skilled nursing facility (working to have insurance cover).  My niece in PA is working with case manager at hospital to facilitate this.

She is also helping to clean out his place by the end of the month and I am paying all the bills and having the mail forwarded to my niece.  His lawyer will be back in town on Monday and I can call to have a Power of Attorney taken care of so I can pre-pay a funeral from AZ.

My niece called today and states he is moved into the facility to begin his physical therapy.  He has no TV or phone in this room.  I have to send her money to take care of those things.  I can't believe how God has pulled this 80 year old alcoholic back from being so close to the grave!!!!  What a miracle.  Keep James, my dad, in your prayers.

As for me, I have a knee injury that also requires physical therapy and I will begin it on Monday.  It appears my knee caps are off center and have moved to the outside of my knees.  The pain is bad and I limp a lot!!!  No hiking for now, but I will do my best to get back to the gym for water aerobics.  The Dr. said that was ok for now.  Waiting for X-rays and blood work to return.  Thanks for all the well wishes and support.

I haven't lost anything yet, probably due to my inconsistent exercise.  Keep me in your prayers for that also.  Until next time...

I'm at church using one of the computers.    I just realized an entire month has gone by and I have not posted.  I was standing next to a friend at church and someone was trying to give him tickets to an AZDiamondback game for today.  I think God wants me to go.....the friend is going to watch football at another friend's house and gave the tickets to me.

I walked away excited and then another guy from our singles group at church said he has 4 extra tickets to the game and wants to know if I'll go.  I'm excited to tell him I already have tickets and now I need to find more people to go.....so, God wants me to go to the game today!!!  I get the sign....He sends me signs often.....LOL.

I've been working on getting back into the exercise groove and changing my eating habits back to healthy.    Here's the update:

I gave up chocolate and it's a good thing since I'm allergic.  I don't even like the taste that much, especially fudge and dark chocolate-hate it!!  I get all these little bumps on my face that annoys me!!!  It's been almost 3 weeks for that.  Next I am giving up caffeine.  This starts tomorrow....I sleep better without it.  I've been drinking a lot of ice tea, raspberry to be exact!!!  I just love that stuff....but it must end. 

I get paid on Tuesday and the shopping begins!!!  I will be giving up bread and then bad carbs.  I seem to be ok with everything else.  God has placed many different people in my life that have mentioned how they have changed their eating and one man told me it took him 9 months to become a vegetarian!!  He just slowly deleted things and added things until he was fully a vegetarian in 9 months.  It's a slow process and I hate slow, but it's the best for me.  Pray I do well with this. 

I find that when I just tell myself, I'm stopping EVERYTHING BAD TODAY, it just doesn't work....so why keep lying to myself....lol.  So, my confession is that I had three bite size Reese cup in the last 3 weeks.  I ate them all at once, I was stressed at work and thought that would fix me (at least that's what I tried to tell myself).  It didn't....won't do that again...lol.  I really have to stop telling myself those lies. 

God called me and asked me to buy a new vehicle.    NO really, He called.  Well, sort of....the place I bought my van calls me every few months to see if I want to trade up or buy new.  The deals aren't usually that appealing until this last time.  They have this "Pay with we pay, employee pricing" deal and $8,000 rebate (to pay for the money I owed on the van), $1,000 cash back to pay toward car insurance for 6 months (because I whined it was going to increase if I bought a new vehicle) and 6.9% financing (which was the clincher)!!!

It took 3 days to work out the deal.  I went there the day of the call and stayed until 9 pm and told the salesman I would think and pray about it overnight.  He called me all day  the next day to make sure I was serious and when he told me the interest rate he was able to work out, I said I would come in and sign.  The next day, I went to pick up the vehicle since they weren't willing to ship it until I signed that I would buy it....lol  Imagine, a salesman, not trusting a buyer....how funny is that?!!!! 

So, now I have a 2008 GMC Envoy (they have to make room for the 2009s) with free OnStar for a year and free XM Radio (Satellite) for 3 months.  I decided to keep the OnStar and cancel my AAA membership as the car dealership found me a broker to give me less expensive car insurance and homeowners insurance.

Like I said, God called.  Until next time....

As I suspected I did not lose any weight since June.  I've been eating like the grazing pig I am and not exercising.  Wow, that sounds self defeating!!!  Did I just chastise myself?  If I was talking to a client I would say...."So what do you plan on doing about this for the future?  Let's focus on that and not the past"  My answer:

I saw a friend on Tuesday and she has not been working out so we are going hiking Saturday morning at 5:30 am!!!  I am housing sitting tonight through Sunday and they have a pool.  I will be doing my water aerobics every morning before work and night after work beginning tonight!!!

I believe everything happens for a reason and they asked me to house sit because I really need to get kick started.  I need to get all the junk food I bought out of the house!!!  I used to never buy it, what happened????  Where did Jamie go????  Who is this person???  Oh, back to being positive...

The Dr. gave me a new eating plan to follow....I didn't even read it yet.  I kept thinking, if I could follow an eating plan you wouldn't have done surgery on me you pea brain!!!  He may be smart for a surgeon, but I seeing lack of common sense here....give me a break!!!

Ok, back up...I'm going to read the eating plan now.  It's actually not too bad.  I can do that.  It's better than the 6 day detox thing I was contemplating doing!!!  This seems much more feasible.

Well, thanks for reading and letting me vent all that trash!!!  Now when do I begin the eating plan?  For me, it works better to be exercising for a few weeks first so I speed up my metabolism before I begin the healthy eating.  That will give me some time to get this junk food out of the house.  Who am I kidding?  That gives me time to eat all the junk food so it's gone from the house.  I won't buy any more.  Pray for me.  I think I'm losing my mind.  I hate not losing weight!!!  Especially after having the surgery.  I'm putting way too much guilt on myself.  My Dr. mentioned he hoped I would be further along with my weight loss.  Who loses 100 pounds in a year???  I never did before surgery.  I think he depressed me a little today!!!  I just left his office not so happy.  Looking on the positive side, he did give me a good eating plan.  I can actually do some of it now and work on getting rid of those snacks at home.

On Friday when I have people over my friend's place to play cards, I will take my snacks so people can eat them and I won't take them home after the weekend!!  This has been a great brain storming session with myself.  Thanks for reading!!

If I don't type it, it doesn't seem like it is happening...lol  I have not exercised in almost 3 weeks!!!  I have my one year check up with the surgeon on Thursday, that's 2 days away!!!  I will have to confess again.

Work has been so busy that I stay up late unwinding and have no energy to get up and exercise in the morning.  I was doing so well.  I tend to not eat good if I'm not exercising.  When I exercise, I don't want to undo all my hard work so I eat better.  You don't want to know what I've been eating!!!

Please pray for me to get back on the wagon, be consistent and to stop procrastinating.  Thanks!

I just returned to work today after my singles' retreat with my church.  It was awesome.  The speaker discussed emotions (part 2 from last year).  We discussed anger and jealousy.  It was great to be up North in the cool weather and I wasn't as cold as I thought I would be (I'm always cold)!!!

The bondfire was great, the games we played were fun and the downtime from work and being busy was even better.  I had Monday off and actually enjoyed doing laundry and unpacking!!!

I went to church and met with Caleb (he's the one filming and editing my documentary of the weight loss).  He hasn't seen me in a few months and commented on the change in my body.  I have to add some pics from the retreat.  I'm in a lot that people took, first time for that!!!  I used to hide from the camera due to being so heavy.  I'm getting better at not being so self conscious.

I have my one year appt at my surgeon's office o 8/21/08.  I can't wait to see how much I have lost since the beginning.  I'm not going to weigh until then.

I just wanted to check in and let everyone know what is going on.  Until next time...

My body sure is changing....I am seeing things I'm not to willing to post here....lol  I have just noticed excess skin changing, wiggling and jiggling all over in the strangest places.  Thank God most of it is not in the public view like my upper arms.  I hate wearing tank tops.  I have to have short sleeves or nothing!!!  As if it isn't hot enough in AZ.  I think that is why God has my body be cold all the time (as I type this with a heater on in my office at work).  The AC is always so high that I enjoy driving home in 100 degree heat and no AC.  I use the time to thaw out...lol

I am also noticing that my period is back and stays for as long as it wants and goes for as long as it wants.  The 7 month break was welcomed!!!  The 2 week return was not...lol  I hope it's gone for awhile because I am not able to do water aerobics.  I miss hiking since it's pretty hot in the morning, but God did send me a friend who is willing to walk with me on the weekends at least.

This is the first time I did not exercise and was missing it!!!  That's a good sign, I think it is truly a part of my life now.  I want to start training for something.  I will have to check and see what type of activities are coming up in my area and do a long walk over 5 miles or so.  I've done 5 miles and it doesn't seem difficult any more.  I never thought I would say those words!!!

I'm going on a retreat next weekend and they have bicycles and I may get one to ride.  I plan on buying one soon so I need to try it out first.  I'm pretty excited about that.  If it wasn't so hot, I would ride the bike to church!!!  I don't want to get there all smelly!!!  That's my plan for the future.  I can also ride to the gym.

I decided to update today before everyone asks me....I'm being proactive.  I can't wait to get weighed again.  I can't wait to see the big weight loss after one full year.  I left a message for my Dr. to schedule me for my one year follow up and no one has called me back.  I may need to call again today.

I'm not dating anyone right now, just reading a book and doing a workbook on how to be a good Godly woman for whenever the time presents itself.  That's it for now....

I can't believe next month will be a year since surgery.  I feel like I should have lost more weight.  I will get weighed later this month to see where I am.  I had one of the nurse's at work take my picture so I can update my profile and put a picture on eharmony.  What the heck?  I guess I just want to know that someone finds me attractive.  Not really sure I want to date any other guys, I guess I just want to see what's out there.  I'll try swimming and check out the other fish in the sea that everyone keeps talking about...lol

Work is doing much better.  I was swamped last month doing portions of my supervisor's work until they hired a new one.  I'm so glad she is hired now.  It felt great to give her all her duties back and just handle my own overwhelming work!!

I signed up to volunteer at church to work with the 20 something young adults. I'm really excited to see how God will use my past life experiences to share with these young adults.  I have really been feeling drawn to do this and had 3 people in the last few weeks tell me I would be good at it.  Must be a sign from God, that's why I signed up!!!

I also feel like it will be a good way to prep for the man God sends into my life.  More than likely he will have a child and I need to be able to relate on some level.  This will give me an idea what I'm in for....God help me....lol

Until next time....

Well, the day finally came.  I went to the gym and the indoor pool water was way too cold for me!!  I guess since my body is so warm from being outside in 100 and something degrees, when you come into a pool at 85 or so, it's just plan too cold!!!  Yes, I am a whuss....lol.....and proud of it!!!

So, now I swim in the morning at my complex pool where the outdoor water is about 95 degrees!!!  I'm swimming at 5 or 5:30 am and then I take a shower and come to work.  I was in the jacuzzi and I feel great for work this morning.  So far the stress isn't even getting to me.

Please pray that I stay consistent with this exercise.  I want to loose this 30 pounds so I will weight 299 by my 1 year anniversary in August!!!  I want to be 200 and something.  The smallest I remember weighing 301 and I was about 27 years old.  I couldn't get under 300 to save my life!!!

I'll update more later today.....

I was able to complete my goal of hiking every Saturday for 2 months straight!!!  I now have been going to the gym 4 to 5 mornings a week.  This week I am opening for another supervisor and working 7 to 4.  I love that shift!!  I normally work 8 to 5.  Anyway, I get to the gym by 4:45 am and have time to do water aerobics, shower, change and come to work.

I feel like I have accomplished so much when I start my day so early like that!!  So now I need to incorporate some other type of exercise because I find I am getting bored with the swimming already!!  I don't want to quit.  I think maybe I will swim every other day and try something else like ride the bike at the gym.  I'll see how that works for me this week.

I can see the changes in my body when I went shopping Saturday and bought some more clothes at Susie's Deals.  I love that place, nothing over $5.99 and in my size!!!  It doesn't hurt so much to give the clothes away when they are too big and I only paid $5.99.  I'm wearing a 26/28 in some shirts and pants.  I can get into a 22/24 and can't wait until it fits comfortably.  I started wearing a 36/38!

I keep hearing compliments on how good I look.  Thank God for this huge blessing of surgery!!!  I still can't believe it.  I have to remember to weigh myself at the gym tomorrow morning.  I know I've lost more weight by my clothes.

I went grocery shopping this week at this new store for singles...lol  Fresh and Easy has meals prepared and portion sizes for single people like me.  I love it!!!  Anyway, I bought tons of fruits, vegtables and things I can put in the crock pot in the morning before I leave for the gym and eat when I get home after work.  I'm excited to get rolling on that.  The prices are so reasonable.  I was shocked.  I sound like a commercial.  Until next time....