SJb41976
Less than three weeks
Feb 09, 2016
My surgery date for the DS is February 29th. I started a three week pre-op diet yesterday and I will be honest. It sucks. And three weeks is a long time but I decided to just take it one day at a time to not get overwhelmed.
I am anxious about surgery, I already have the sleeve so I have gone though all of this before. But having your guts rearranged and living a completely dfferent lifestyle is overwhelming. I've researched this for 18 months. I've researched all that I can. It came to knowing that nothing was going to change permanently without moving forward in this decision. I had to take a leap of faith.
So with that comes anxiety, because I have anxiety and people who don't deal with anxiety don't understand the need to think and process. On one of my forums I posted some of my feelings and even though it was done nicely, I was told to let be what was going to be. And that was fine. But I figured I would come here and blog so that I can share all my feelings. The good, bad and ugly. If I am having an anxious day pre-op, i'm going to post. If it drives you crazy, don't read it. This is just my was of processing things.
The good thing about being told to let go is that it does make you think that, yeah, I've made the decision, I'm as healthy as I can be, I am active and I have a great surgeon. The staff is great. The hospital is great. So, it helped to focus that I can trust my decisions. I can trust the process. Because I have not made a rash decision. So trust it. So, it was good to hear that. Do I really want to sit and obsess the next three weeks about this surgery when I have no control over what happens that day. I just have to trust that the time, energy and thought going into this will pay off. And to just trust it. So, that was what came good from that response to one of my anxious posts.
As far as the pre-op diet, I am basically eating soft foods from BariLife. Think Optifast. Very similar. It sucks. The staying away from food isn't that difficult (at the moment) it's just the lack of energy and general feeling of malaise that I hate. Hopefully, after this week when my body gets used to this I will feel better. And three weeks is just a long time. I had to do two weeks the last surgery and that was bad enough. But, I did it. And I will be able to do this too. But there will probably be much venting.
Writing is very therapeutic for me. So, I am going to come to this blog when I am experiencing all the feels and hopefully process them instead of using food to numb those feelings. So, things might get ugly, but really, this is for me more than anyone else.
Here's to Day 2. Let's keep trucking.
