skinny-girl-inside-wants-out

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So today is Wednesday and I had my surgery last Friday.  Im offically bored stiff, sore and tender a little, and my head hunger is driving me mad, so much so that i almost ate off my sons hand today because he was holding a pop-tart, lol!! I dont even like poptarts!! I only wanted to chew it and spit it out too, so i know that its all only in my head.  Up until today, all i have had has been water and well, more water ...... all-the-way since last thrusday. The surgery went well, the hosiptal stay was uneventful, and this week has been tiring.  i hate being sore.  all i keep thinking, is, am i going to be this sore when i have my plastics too???LMAO!!!! Part of me is sad that i couldnt do it on my own, and i bring myself down with thoughts that i gave up to soon, but then i bounce on that scale and it shows my weight and i geel great!!!!

10 pounds gone as of 1/2 hour ago, and that makes me smile!

Kelly A was my angel, she was great, everyone is lucky to be able to ask people on these boards to help them through this process, and i feel great that i had someone there for me. 

Hey!! I cant believe that I forgot to write about my PATS experience.  Well it was a long lonely road.  I stayed at the red roof inn, some people dont like it there, but its cheap and well it was a bed, and i have no complainants.  That night I went to the movies (just like did when I was there for my consult) the chairs in the theatre were so huge and nice and comfy and well worth the $8 without the movie.  But i did watch and love the movie, POST GRAD!  Being that I usually have my boys with me, this was a nice treat.  That night I woke up at 2:30 obviously nervous about PATS and worried about falling asleep and the hotel forgetting the wake-up call that I had requested and missing my appointment.  I got up and was ready to go by about 6, and went to the hosiptal for around 6:50.  I was there doing tests, talking to people, meeting my doctor (who is extremely hot, BTW) until about 1. When I talked to the doctor i made it very clear that I wanted a RnY with the malsorbation of a DSer.  He asked me how much i wanted to loose, told me that i would be able to loose that weight with a normal one, but if thats what i wanted, he had no problem with it,  he understood my reasoning about wanting to have a higher chance of long term success incase i get off track, and agreed.  So that was the first hurdle.  Second, was the ultrasound, i guess im full of Gallstones, yuck, so the morning of surgery i will have to talk to my doctor, but looks like that will be coming out during surgery. NP!!  Then I left at like i said around 1 and drove home.  made it home for about 7, good time, went and picked up my kids and was very tired! 

Step ??? TOO MANY TO COUNT!! COMPLETED!!!!LOL

ITs so close now!!!

Things in this process that I never thought in a million years would ever bother me are keeping me up at night!  I mean what is the point of staying up all night thinking about what date they are going to give me.  WHO KNOWS!!!! but thats me.  I finally got up and decided to post looking for some words of encouragement because I CANT SLEEP, lol!!! 

And gosh, if i cant sleep now because of a date, what am i going to be like for the surgery!  I mean I pretty much stopped eaching a week before the consult because i was nervous (and with me thats a big deal because never in my life has ANYTHING pulled me away from food.  I mean i was even worried about my BMI dropping below 40.

 I have so much going on at the end of this month; delievering 2 litters of persians, driving down to Barrie for a night, 2 of my boys start the hockey season ....... and then, Dr. Taylor is booking in the 3rd week of September too ......

On my 30th birthday I called OHIP and Dianne told me that I was approved, WOW, I'm so excitied!  I also called Barix and asked when Dr. Taylor was scheduling surgery for and it turns out that he is for the 3rd week of September, YICKS thats seriously, extremely close.

Just went to Michegan Aventure this week with my children, another family vaca with pics, and none of me in them, I cant wait until i can be in the pictures with my boys and all of us having fun and enoying ourselves!! I can't wait.

Next step  ---- Waiting for a call to tell me when Surgery is!! Hoping for a date before the end of September!!!YAY!!

I know this blog is a little late, but im trying ot keep upto date on the things that happened in this process.  At the time i was so very upset and was seeking for support from everyone on here, i couldnt put my let down into words.  But im going to sum up the events of last week.

I called the doctors office and i foung out that the information was complete.
i went to my psyc like Dr. pop requested and got the letter saying i was completely stable, dr tang was 100% supportive
i went to read the letter that my GP had written, it was horrible and with that letter not only would i not get a VSG i would not be approved for any WLS
had to make decisions quickly
changed my focus to what matters most, my health, and my life with my kids
opted out of VSG, withdrew the app, and went to see Dr. Tang about signing papers about the RnY
he approved
sent them in
called oOHIP this morning and they told me that info was recieved and that itwas now with the medical consultant, and no more information was needeed, OMG, im finally on the right track!!!
YAY
All in a weeks work and meltdowns, lol!

I called my doctor's office this morning and asked if my info had been faxed in yet.  The nurse told me, no.  But she did say that the doctor pulled some of my chart work together and got all the information out, and dictated a letter so that he could send it. YAY, probably will take til about tuesday until it is all sent off, but at least i know that he took the time and did it.  YAY!!! Next step is OHIP looking it all over and approving it!!!!Here's for hoping that by the end of August I have an approval and a surgery date sometime in November.  Im super excited!

BTW tryed to find something to where (nice outfit) for my case conference today, and nothing fit right, God i hate feeling like i look like shit all the time!

Fingeres crossed about OHIP and my case conference!

Cherie

Im seriously tring to get myself out of this funk, but i keep going over the same things in my head.  Things like; if i want this surgery this bad that im willing to fight for it and risk my life in surgery, then why wont i get my ass on a treadmill or to the gym and eat properly and lose the weigth on my own.  I have really been beating myself up about this!  ITs Crasy!!!  I have done it lost the weight before but for one reason or another have gained it back, as im sure that we all have done........i feel im really read to make this change!  Just been beating myself up about it the past couple days!  Im usually a really dirrect person and tell people whats on my mind, and ive been really confident in my "real" life to tell people that im having this surgery, but inside im wondering if im -pretending to be confident so that I dont that the scepetics out there know that i too am nervous ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i guess it would help you all as well to know when helping me through this, that 5 years ago i was extremely sick and hosiptalized for a little over a year, durnign this time my father and my brother "helped" i say it in quotes because there form of help turned out to bite me in the ass, but thats anoter story, and took over my 3 little ones at the time.  Im scared for them, ive put them through alot with being sick, although i could not help it, and now this, my fear is what if i dont make it, i dont think that they could take it.  I am the person that they have to depend on , being a single mother, as some of you can relate too.  But as well, i feel that i am doing them a serious injustice by not doing this for myself because i will be a better mom for it!!!

Anyways just thought i would share with you all, you have been very supportive in the past and i was hoping that maybe you could help me out with some advice.

As you all have probably guessed that when i post a topic on here , i also copy and paste it to my blog within a couple a days, so that i can go back in my journey and see what i was going through and read your kind thoughts .......hope nobody minds

Thanks in advance, does anyone feel this way, or know someone that felt this way and you were able to calm there nerves somehow.

Also, I going out today to but WHEY, i used to drink it all the time, and loved it, so im hoping that over the next few months before surgery i will be able to take off some weight!

Cherie

YAY, YAY, YAY, My GP is on holidays all this week, and back for 2 days next week, tuesday and thrusdays mornings, and guess what, I GOT AN APPOINTMENT!!!! OHIP requested more information on July 8th, its almost been a month of waiting for him to send it.  Well, I am going prepared and im going to fax it off myself!!!   YAY, YAY, YAY!! Then probably another 2 to 3 week wait, but i dont care about the wait as long as they have everything that they need, and soon they will!

Hey everyone ........... well i met with Dr. Pop yesterday!  He is great and i am sooooo grateful to be a patient of his.  Yep, thats right he approved me for surgery.  He does want my doctor to fax him a letter to let him know that my depression and mental health is under control, but thats is fine because it is.  YAY.  I loved his seminar.  The way i pictured a RnY in my head verses the way that he explained it was good, although i still want a VSG.  Im so glad, and so excited, im just waiting until the approval from OHIP. 

Tomorrow i am going to my GP to beg him to hurry and send the additional information to OHIP and to help him along, lol, bring in a typed copy of all the answers that are needed.

Step three is to get GP to fax additional information to OHIP and to get Dr letter off to Dr. Pop to say that my mental health is under control.

I called OHIP this morning and Dianne told me that OHIP requested more information from my GP.  YICKS!! He's on vacation all next week, and im going to make an appointment to discuss the new information on monday July 20th, the first day that he is back!!!