Living Life With Anxiety

May 22, 2011

I have moments in my life where I do not want to be bothered with anyone except Nico my Chihuahua.

I know a lot of it has to do with my past struggle to fit in as a fat kid, adolescent, and adult.

A large majority of that is also my mental illnesses (Bipolar I and Borderline Personality Disorder w/co-occurring disorders PTSD, OCD, and Anxiety).

Even though I am normal size (5'6 158 lbs) now, I still feel all of 305 lbs.

A lot of people do not understand that sometimes I just need to be left alone.

Luckily I live alone and am in the position of not having to deal with anyone when I get in that mind frame if I don't want to.

However, I have lost associates in the past because they just could not truly understand how I could spend so much time alone and did not want to always be in the streets (clubbing, drinking, movies, concerts, etc) with them.

The truth of the matter is that I love doing all of those things.

I also am aware that they were not friends if they could not understand what I was going through.

The problem is that my anxiety is so bad that it is a big ordeal for me to be around a lot of people.

I have to shop at odd hours because I fear large crowds.

I can do it, but it is a huge deal.

I have to take my xanax and use self talk and coping skills to realize if I'm being rational or irrational in my thoughts of what is going on.

Do any of you have this problem with anxiety and if so how do you cope and work through it?

I know what works for me thanks to my bi-weekly therapy sessions, but I am just curious as to what works for you guys.

Thanks for listening.


Teena

2 Comments

About Me
Mesquite, TX
Location
25.5
BMI
Surgery
10/09/2009
Surgery Date
Feb 20, 2003
Member Since

Before & After
rollover to see after photo
Taken 5/26/02 - Cancun, Mexico
5'7 - 305lbs
Taken 10/29/04 - At the OH Convention in LA
5'7 - 147lbs

Friends 132

Latest Blog 139

×